Convince Me

I can’t see the beauty that you see,
life is ugly to me.
Only the world itself has any beauty.

I know you want me to believe
that life is beautiful,
but I just think that’s a load of bull.

Certainly, there are beautiful things
“out there”,
but I have seen too few of them to care.

Life for me is pain, loss and struggle,
full of
dreams and desires I will never fulfill.

But I am an excellent student,
a good pupil.

If you can find a way to show me
just how life is beautiful,
I will, finally, be able to let go
of all this pain, all this suffering,
and I will, finally, have a reason
to keep living, once again.



Vote for the “Dangerous” Candidate In 2020!

I just learned that Marianne Williamson is running for president in 2020. She is a very loving, spiritual author and teacher. I am glad to FINALLY see someone who is spiritual, not religious, running for president.

But one of the groups I subscribe to, Civic Action, called her “dangerous” in a recent email. I almost cheered! Think about this for a minute… What exactly does it mean to be a dangerous presidential candidate? Dangerous to who or to whom?

The Status Quo – that’s what. The big SQ. And anything dangerous to that is something we should run to with open arms. The system is broken. You don’t even know just how bad it is right now. Spend some time on Netflix watching Adam Ruins Everything. Or the series Abandoned on Hulu. Then you will start to get the picture. Watch various urbex explorers on YouTube like Exploration Unknown or RNK All Day. Seriously.

There are ENTIRE MANSIONS sitting abandoned, filled with stuff, the power still on. There are ENTIRE CITIES with little or no people living in them. You have all heard about the issue of homelessness. Well there are plenty of places where homeless people could live, that are just sitting there, decaying away.

The justice system is broken beyond repair. Did you know there is little or no reformation in jail? That most of the prisons in America (of which there are more than colleges according to one source I just read) are owned by the same, single corporation? Inside these prisons are no programs to reform prisoners, worthless books if they even have any, and a rigged system designed to ensure that anyone who ends up there will have to come back, so this corporation can profit. Bet you didn’t know that, did ya?

So when someone is threatened by someone, I know that what is actually being threatened is the Status Quo, and anything that threatens that, or better yet, breaks it, shatters it completely, is not only welcome, it is desperately needed. Yes, Trump was a poor choice for president. Bernie Sanders would have been better. But you can’t deny that Trump has certainly stirred things up, and set in motion the sorts of changes this country needs.

I voted for him. You can boo me all you want. It was the best option at the time. I stand by my choice. But I was promised he would throw out Obamacare and a few other things he has not done. Now he is attacking Net Neutrality and trying to censor the internet. He is actually considering a promotion for Ajit Pai, who I hope to god that someone fires or finds a more permanent solution to get rid of him. That man has not one single redeeming value, and he is going to get promoted, to a position where he can do more harm? Maybe Trump should be impeached. He is certainly NOT in alignment with what I elected him for!

I was going to vote for Bernie Sanders in 2020. But he doesn’t appear to be fighting for Net Neutrality anymore, and he has plans for many things that I do not agree with. So if Marianne Williamson makes it to the ballot, that is where my vote will go. I look foward to seeing the system crumble, so we can rebuild it and make something better. America is quickly becoming the least free country in the world, while at the same time becoming a worse and worse place to live, especially if you happen to live on the margins. It has to stop.

Next year, vote for the most dangerous candidate on the ballot. Because otherwise you are endorsing that things continue as they have been. And if we keep doing things the same way we have always done them, we will keep getting the same piss poor results we have been getting.

It’s Time for a Heart To Heart…

I am going to try to walk a line here between being brutally honest or accusatory and begging or making folks feel guilty. I am gonna be honest with you, as I think you’ll agree I usually am, and tell it to you straight.

I asked for help so I could get a better phone, and you didn’t help me. I asked for your support through Patreon, and in roughly a year of having started my campaign, none of you has signed up. I showed you the awesome designs I have available at SpreadShirt, and not one of you has purchased anything.

Some of you have been visiting this blog and reading my words for a very long time. I am happy that you have enjoyed my writing, but discouraged that that majority of you can’t  be bothered to comment and provide feedback, at the very least, which only costs you a little time. Much less support me in any financial way

I have no job, and pretty much no income. I do a little work for a former neighbor and that is all I have. I manged to save up and get myself a phone. But for bigger things, like a better laptop and better equipment for the things I do, there is no way, with what little I have earned, I could get these things.

I had to reach a decision tonight. I have struggled with my laptop before, trying to record videos for Minecraft. I wanted to create a Let’s Play style series, but issues with the hardware and software I have to work with, combined with a lack of any interest from the Minecraft community, caused me to give up.

And now I have to stop doing video tutorials. It just isn’t worth it anymore. My laptop simply can not do that. I need either a dedicated capture card plugged into the USB or I need an upgraded laptop. I don’t even need something new. Just something powerful enough to handle video recording. At least an Intel I7 or equivalent, and 8 gigs of RAM. Also the laptop should have a separate video card, ATI or Nvidia, not any sort of integrated GPU. As I do not have this, and I have no way to get it, I have decided to quit making video tutorials. It’s over.

I have been making tutorials for a very long time. I started with written tutorials, then moved onto video. It is something I love to do. I know I am an excellent teacher. Maybe a little long-winded, but I know I explain things and demonstrate things very well. It hurts me that I have to give it up.

I had another tutorial ready to go, to teach viewers how to install and use WorldEdit for Fabric for Minecraft 1.14. I have tried a few times to do this. But I kept having hardware and software issues, so I had to scrap all my work. Now I am scraping video tutorials in their entirety. It feels like I am ripping out a piece of myself. I hate having to do this, but I don’t have a choice. I just can’t do it anymore, trying to get by with what I have.

So that just leaves this blog and maybe any videos I record of myself on my phone. But I don’t like recording myself. Not sure I will do that. So really all I have left to do is to continue writing for this blog. But I am forced to ask myself, what is the point? My readers are ambivalent at best. Sure you hit the like button, and that’s cool, so I guess from that I know you are enjoying my words. But I feel disconnected from you, as I receive so little feedback. I also feel underappreciated, as I receive no support.

I want to be clear… I never started this blog expecting to earn money with it. I do not write these poems and posts for money. But I feel my writing does have intrinsic value, and if there are readers enjoying it, then my words have real value for them. So I don’t feel bad in asking for monetary support. Because just as no preacher worth listening to stands up there and delivers a sermon expecting to get paid, but the survival of the church depends on the donations of its members, so I do not sit here and write expecting to get paid, but my survival depends on your donations.

We were driving back towards Lake Rd here in Camas, and I saw that they had torn down a beautiful old house and barn that used to exist next to these new houses they recently built, overlooking the lake. These houses are likely millions or 10s of millions of dollars. I know many are occupied, but I never see any signs of life. Nobody outside, no Christmas decorations – nothing. I am almost certain that 1-2 people live in each of these 6+ bedroom, 4+ bathroom, 4000-8000+ square feet mansions. And they are not entertaining anyone. What do they need all that space for anyway?

I am also sure that none of them work for minimum wage, 40+ hours a week, no vacation time until you have worked there at least a year – all the usual that everyone tells me I should be doing. As I have said before I watched my dad do that, for over 30 years, and he will never be able to afford to live in one of these places. That road is a dead-end, and everyone telling me to walk it knows that. How can they keep telling me to do something that doesn’t work, and hasn’t worked since the 50s?

Certainly there must be the exceptions, the people so thrown into the rat race they work 80 hour weeks. But they also earn 100K or more a year. In my mind, there is something wrong with this. Most of these people, living in these fancy houses, have never worked hard their entire lives. They didn’t start at some minimum wage job then worked their way up, saving until they could afford that house.

I am sure there are exceptions, but I’ll bet if I went along, door to door, and interviewed each of them, and if they took the time to talk to me, I would find that the path society is cramming down my throat to take is not the path they have taken. Furthermore I can almost guarantee that these folks contribute nothing of value to society.

So why do they get to live in these mansions, why are they paid so well for what little they do, when I work super hard, I contribute things of value, and I don’t get paid at all? It’s wrong. The whole thing is wrong. I should be able to write here at my blog, do ONLY that, and have enough money, earned just from donations from those who appreciate my writing, to buy any one of these giant houses with cash, if I were even interested in buying one, which I am not.

How am I ever going to travel overseas? How am I ever going to pay for food and basic necessities, once I leave this place? The simple answer to both is that I am not. As it currently stands I am not going to be able to do it with my writing and artistic pursuits, depending on donations. And I definitely would not be able to do it while working some minimum wage job. My last hope is that my work at my SpreadShop pays off. If it doesn’t, that’s it, I am done.

I am never going to work a minimum wage job for 40 hours a week again. I will live life on my terms, or I will die. My terms are simple… I must be able to create my art, I must be able to write, I must be able to live comfortably and safely, I must be able to do the things I want to do, and I must have a way to support myself doing the things I do. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not merely endured.

I am putting you, my readers, on notice. I am drawing a line in the sand. I am putting my foot down. You have to tell me where I am coming up short. You have to tell me what I need to do differently. I have to know why you don’t want to support me at Patreon. Why you don’t want to buy one of the items at my SpreadShop. What is it, exactly, you require of me?

Understand that things can’t continue as they have. I will not keep writing at this blog to a mostly mute audience. The time will come where I will be unwilling or unable to write here anymore. Even a bad comedian gets booed, gets things thrown at him. He is never met only with silence.

I have done what I can. I will continue to work on my own inner blocks to the abundance of the Universe. I am partly to blame for what I am currently experiencing here. But from this moment forward, I claim success in all my endeavors. I claim it, and I demand it. I have more than earned it. Things will change, and for the better. The how is not up to me. But I have made my needs, my requirements, known to you. The rest is up to the Universe, and to you.

I will accept nothing less than the absolute best, for myself and for my loved ones. I will no longer put up with, no longer tolerate, any abuse or mistreatment. I am done sitting here, quietly, patiently, hoping someone will notice me. I am done being given the short end of the stick. I am done contenting myself with scraps. I am done listening to what others tell me I need to do or should be doing. I demand and insist that things change for the better, immediately.

Because I am about to walk off this stage…

America’s Darkest Hour

There is a sign just down the road from where I recently resided. It tells drivers who pass by that marijuana is a dangerous drug. It isn’t. This is fear-mongering and an outright lie. I asked my Higher Self, my Source, all Agencies and Entities with my Highest Best Interests at Heart, Ramtha and those known as Paul Selig’s Guides (AKA Melchizedek) how I could address the energy that has placed this sign there. I want to remove the sign, I want to tear it down. And I will. But removing the sign does not address the energy that caused the sign to be put there in the first place. That energy is my true target.

In a strange twist I started to watch The Darkest Hour with Gary Oldman tonight. I watched as all all these people in positions of power, with a terrible enemy at their doorstep, hemmed and hawed and kept trying to push peace, which is the thing that got the prime minister before Winston Churchill kicked out by the opposition in the first place. I watched as Churchill declared war, and the room was silent after he was finished speaking. I realized something, that sometimes physical action has to take place first in order to change the energy that has caused an unwanted thing to manifest.

For Churchill, the action to take was war. England had to go through war to find peace. In my case, I have to remove this sign to start the process of changing the energy that placed it there in the first place. Some group of people somewhere had the belief that if only they could eliminate drugs, they would be happy. Only they likely used words like safety (especially citing the safety of our children) and security. Drugs, and those who use them, have been made a scapegoat. Those who believe that eliminating them will fix things focus on drugs so they don’t have to address real, far more difficult issues. The same thing applies to guns.

The problem is that making drugs and guns illegal creates crime, it does not eliminate it. Anytime you make something illegal for which there is a demand, you create opportunities (and lucrative ones) for those willing to meet the demand. In the 20s it was liquor. Sometime during Nixon’s presidency it became drugs. In our time it’s guns. Now we have drug runners and arms dealers, making vast amount of money, because they are meeting the demand of those who need or want drugs or guns.

Why do people want guns? For the average person, it’s because they want to feel safe. They want to feel empowered. With home break-ins on the rise, is it any wonder people want to have guns? Why do people want drugs? Because life, not to put too fine a point on it, sucks for the majority of Americans. They work hard at crappy jobs, and they just want to escape. They just want to feel good. For those who are addicted, they are meeting the demands of their bodies. A few of us, like me, are seeking spiritual experiences.

I partook in Ayahuasca for my spiritual development and growth. I tried shrooms, and they actually helped me to be less depressed than I was. I took a legal variant of DMT because I wanted to see past the physical to the energetic and spiritual. I took marijuana to share experiences with my friends and my brother, and again, to feel good. To not feel so alone. To ease the aches and pains of the hard work I was doing at the time. I am still working hard, but am without the kind of friends or money that would allow me to use marijuana. But if I had the cash, I would buy a big bag of it and a vaporizer, because I am in serious pain through the work I do and from which I am not recovering.

Marijuana is better for you than aspirin, acetaminophen, and any other man-created pharmaceutical drugs. It is far healthier and more relaxing than cigarettes, and has no long term health consequences. In fact, you would be better off using marijuana and cocaine in the correct ways to alleviate the aches and pains you deal with on a daily basis.

Here’s a question for you… WHY are Ayahuasca, DMT, LSD and Peyote illegal? Have you ever bothered to ask yourself this? No, you likely haven’t. There is no reason these substances should be illegal. They have no side effects, they don’t cause any physical damage, and they are not addictive for most people. Ask a police officer or the FBI some time. See if they can give you a decent, relevant answer that doesn’t sound like a script they memorized.

To have a society free of drugs and weapons (especially guns) you need a society where everyone is easily and effortlessly meeting their needs and at least some of their wants. A society free of the control of the law and religion. You have to address the system that causes people to need or want drugs and guns, and until you do, drugs and guns will exist. Also, as long as we live in a society that attempts to control the behavior of others through laws, regulations, rules and religion, drugs and guns will exist.

Do me a favor and the next time you see an anti-drug or anti-gun sign, tear it down, OK? Because we have to focus on the real issues in our society, and stop getting distracted by the scapegoats and straw men of our politicians and those in positions of power. How about we make it illegal for homes to be taken away? Or to be fired from a job simply because of a merger, or the bosses trimming the fat? How about we make it illegal for anyone to benefit from others being in jail? And how about we make it illegal to be in jail without an easily accessible and usable way for all inmates to reform, through programs, training, etc.?

It’s time to face the truth of the REAL issues, and to focus all our effort and energy on them.

How would you like to wear one of my poems?

Wish granted!

Maybe you would like one of my AWESOME sayings?

Or how about this?

Cool, right? And you can support your favorite little-known poet, just by purchasing DreamBliss Designs items like these from SpreadShirt. Here is the link to my SpreadShop:

Oh yeah, and you can also still donate through Patreon:

Help a guy out, will ya? Thanks!


PLEASE NOTE! Read the description for each item CLOSELY! I just ordered the Men’s Premium T-shirt for God Within in black. I got it today, and the quality was AWESOME! But it is for a slimmer fit! So if you have more in common with Jabba The Hut than Luke Skywalker, you will want to order a size or two bigger on the slims, or just not order a slim at all.

I mean the fit and cut was perfect, for someone my exact size minus 80 pounds around the middle. It came right down just past my waist, the seams on the shoulders were spot on. If this was a stretchy, runner’s shirt that would be perfect. But for something you want to fit loosely and breathe in, it doesn’t work well.

The QR code on the back works flawlessly, taking you right to my SpeadShop. You will be impressed with the quality and color of the things you get at SpreadShirt. Just be extra aware when ordering, read all the details in the description! I am going to try a 2x tall if it is not a slim fit, 3x tall if it is. I will take a picture with me wearing it when I do.

7-7-2019 – Independence Day

So July 4th has come and gone. I think back, and still can’t believe I am a 2018 graduate! It seems so long ago, almost like it happened to another person. But no, this was the major event of my life last year.

I have been helping a lady I occasionally work for these last few days. The work itself hasn’t been too hard. But I have worked hard at it, and it has worn me down. I have been paid promptly and well. But so many times I have had to lock my lips shut.

The lady I work for has an, entrenched, viewpoint about the world – how things are and how things work. Some examples:

  • I should never expect anything for free. If I do I am taking advantage. Everything must be paid for – must be an exchange.
  • The world is hard – life is hard.
  • People are not inherently good or nice.

I gotta say I am FUCKING TIRED of people telling me how I am doing something wrong, or am wrong, or am bad, or don’t know something, or don’t understand something, or have no experience, or that my opinion doesn’t matter, etc. etc. etc.

I WILL NOT be browbeat into submission to someone’s viewpoints about humans, society or the world in general and at large. I ADAMANTLY REFUSE to buy into the bullshit so many people in my life keep spewin’! I CLAIM and DEMAND the right to define humanity, society and the world in general and at large as I DAMN WELL PLEASE!!! My beliefs, feelings, opinions, thoughts and viewpoints are just as valid as EVERYONE ELSE’S, regardless of age, creed, experience, genetics, species, race. etc. etc. etc.

Yes, I am not a black man and I can not really know the black man’s struggle. Yes, I am not a woman and can not really know the struggle of women. Yes I have traveled only 43 times around the sun, not 69 or 93 or whatever. But that does not mean, in any way, that I CAN NOT know, at some level, or empathize, or understand, or be sympathetic too, these things which are outside my personal experience.

It also doesn’t mean that my viewpoints are irreverent and/or worthless. I can put myself in the black man’s shoes, the woman’s shoes, the elders’ shoes. And I know things. I do not know how or why I know things, but I have long known and even understood things outside my life experience.

My point is that you can put your GODDAMN box away, because I do not fit inside of it. I am beyond and outside your definition. I am unlike anyone you have ever met or known. I am unique. Not special – unique. I don’t know that I buy into the whole specialness thing. Maybe if I was born with superpowers. But unique – HELL YES! There never has been anyone like me on the earth, and there will never be anyone EXACTLY like me after I leave it. I am the only one. And I have experienced things few other humans in history have.

I am empathetic, sensitive and maybe even a bit telepathic. I have not tried to develop any of these abilities or skills or whatever they are. And it could be that I just have a knack for reading body language, though I doubt that is it. I FEEL things, I practice listening to my gut and intuition, and I advise my parents to do the same. I KNOW things I can not trace back to any previously collected knowledge.

As before I do not say these things to boast. No. I think all I am currently experiencing in my life can be experienced by others. It only requires openness and receptivity to certain things, and I share this constantly.

I have adopted the belief that all humans are inherently good – inherently divine. No matter what someone does, that is just a role they are playing, a mask they are wearing. That is God there, under that mask, acting out that role. I have also adopted the belief that the Universe is ultimately good, that it supports me and that there can be enough for all – that abundance of all good things can be experienced by all.

And I have adopted the belief that when I ask another for something. maybe an exchange will take place, but even if I do not give them anything in return, they receive a chance to serve. The opportunity to serve is an invaluable experience – a gift that we must all be open to giving to others in our lives, especially our loved ones. We are not meant to go it alone. We are all meant to support one another in our various endeavors, in whatever way it comes naturally to use to contribute, in whatever way we desire to contribute, with our whole heart.

Part of what pissed me off these last few days is that this person I work for tells me I should pay for my shower. After all, the lady my parents are renting from likely pays for her water. But as far as I am concerned, my parents are paying part of the rent, so they have equal rights, and those rights pass down to children and grandchildren. Especially as the person they are renting from has her daughters living with her.

But this idea, that I am somehow bad for believing I have the right to drop by and take a shower for free, and that I am taking advantage, contributing nothing for this privilege – as if I should feel guilty about it – well that sets me off. Do either of this lady’s daughters pay for their shower privileges? Are either of them expected to contribute in some way for their mother letting them live there, much less take a shower there? No, absolutely not.

And even if this were one person’s reality, or even the reality of a number of people, that does not mean it must be my reality. This does not mean I have to agree or contribute, to what I shall now call a collective delusion, in any way. Who is qualified to define reality for another? Not our authority figures, not our religion, not our loved ones, not anyone. Only we are qualified to define our reality. But too many of us just abdicate this power, this right, to others. I refuse to do this – I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE!

Instead I claim my full power of choice, to define reality in whatever way I desire and to live my life in whatever way I choose. I will choose my own viewpoints regarding humanity, society and the world in general and at large. I will define my own reality.

Today I claim independence. I claim independence from anyone’s definition of reality that in any way demeans, hurts, minimizes or fails to completely support me. I claim independence from any sources of fear – whatever its source. Instead I choose love. Finally I claim independence from guilt, shame and another control device or mechanism which another may use to try and control me. I am and will remain an unbridled stallion, running freely across the plains.

Today is MY Independence Day.