7-7-2020 – A Long Overdue Update

OK, so I am not entirely sure what all I have said here about YouTube. I think I have mentioned that I have committed to being a professional YouTuber, and to that end I have been focusing my efforts on my channels over the last week or so. If you are curious about what I have been up to, here is a brief layout:

BlissVlogs is where I will be uploading a weekly vlog, and it is also the new home of The Circle. In addition to this I have had my first adventure as a Randonaut, and I am putting those videos up there as well. I also have an idea for a video where I will do the “red door, yellow door” game, but using what I know about self-hypnosis as well as my empathic/intuitive abilities. Not sure how that will work out and if it will become a series of some sort or not.

BlissArchives will just be a place I will stash old vidoes that may be soon deleted. I thought I would set them aside for now in case anyone wanted me to keep them up.

BlissClips is where I have stashed a lot of shorter videos, including those in the PSA and Tips ‘n Tricks series. Later I will be using this as a clips channel, where I will put shorter, to-the-point bits from longer videos.

BlissTech will be the home of all my old video tutorials, and perhaps some new ones in the future.

Of course, DreamBliss remains my main channel, and will be focused on videos for RAID Shadow Legends and Minecraft.

This well it’s time to put the nose to the ‘ol grindstone and get back to writing, my primary occupation. I guess I should let you guys know that I did hear back from Analog, where I submitted my story, “XO”, but it was a rejection. Not sure if I mentioned I was submitting this a few months back or not. Well I finally heard back from them a few weeks ago, and as you can imagine, it was a kick to the groin.

THEN the ebook I was writing for the graduations… Well I spent a few hours writing away and lost all that day’s content. I know sort of what I was writing about, but have decided that maybe it was for the best that I lost it, so I won’t try to reconstruct it. But that knocked me down and I haven’t been able to look at the document since.

THEN I watched myself doing the Randonaut video and I realized that I looked like someone with mental issues. Probably talk like that to. I saw that I looked a lot worse than I ever thought I did. I mean I know and was aware that I didn’t look great. But I never realized I looked THAT terrible! That was another kick to the groin.

THEN July 4th happened, and if any of you have been reading this blog over the years, you know how melancholic I get around this time of year. Add to that the need for some sort of exercise regimen because I am in such poor physical condition.

Good news is I am starting to come out of it now, I am at my keyboard, writing again, I will return to my ebook this week, do some last edits, call it finished and submit it. I am thinking about a YouTube release, addressed to the graduates. But maybe I need to find other places to submit it. I really want it to give our young people some information that wouldn’t normally otherwise receive, and probably have never received, which will aid them in the years to come, especially with the challenges we are currently facing.

I have more work to do at YouTube, more artwork to create for end cards and each channel’s background image. I also need to finish organizing and moving things around. I want to write short stories again. Maybe horror, maybe something else. But I think I will preoccupy myself with that. I am also going to figure out what next to submit and where to do so.

Of course I will keep everyone updated here, and I will bring in some more poetry. I just haven’t been in that special place a person has to be in that allows poetry to come out. Also overcoming some more identified obsticals to manifesting things, using Gabriel Berstein’s book, “Super Attractor.” According to her book I am a “manic manifester” with “pusher” tendencies. I am going to have to get this figured out, because I need to talk with my folks about selling the RV. If they want to do that, I will need another place to sleep at night.

If you watch any of my YouTube videos, comment below, let me know you are watching and what you think. If you have an idea for something you would like me to do, let me know.

Next update intended to be in a week or less.

What Is Bliss Writer About?

I just read a section titled, “Serve Your Audience” from Sage Cohen’s, “Fierce on the Page“, while listening to Illenium’s, “Ascend.” Hit The Broken Ones and started to tear up. Not sure what is going on with me. I wasn’t even sure what I would write about today. But it occurred to me that maybe I should tell everyone who comes here what this blog is about. What its intention is.

Bliss Writer comes on the heels of a few other blogs, including Romance Beyond Reality, and a gaming website I tried to keep going called the Nucleus. It is a natural evolution of my own journey, as the years pass and the hard lessons keep coming. Bliss Writer is essentially a journal. But it is also a place where spiritual ideas and insights are shared, as I learn them or come to realize them.

I wanted a place to express myself when I first started out. Now my focus is to maintain the habit of writing as I have since embraced myself as a writer. I started Bliss Writer as I embarked on a new spiritual path, my own spiritual path. I was letting go of old Christian beliefs and finding teachings that resonated with me from a variety of faiths. But now I continue Bliss Writer, still waking my own spiritual path, but now also walking the path of a poet and a writer.

Unfortunately, the spiritual side of things is not always bright and sunny. Or at least it has not been for me. Maybe for some folks it is. But for me I have endured Belief Systems Crash, trying to apply teachings and failing to manifest anything, and at least a few Dark Night of the Souls. It has not been an easy journey. But I did want to keep the darker aspects of myself and my journey away from Bliss Writer, and that is why I felt I had to start another blog and begin the ongoing process of weeding out old posts that do not reflect the image I want to portray here.

I do not want to hide from or ignore the darkness. I just don’t want to dive into it here, splashing it around all over you, the reader. I want to express all that stuff, all the death thoughts, sexual thoughts, excessive swearing, etc. somewhere else. I know I need to embrace it as it is a part of me. It is just not a part that you, my reader, needs to see. I will not hide from you that I have this other side, but I am also determined not to expose you to it. That side I reserve for sharing with my closest friends, or friend in this case, and those who love and support me regardless. Whenever they deign to show up in my life anyway.

So Bliss Writer might get harsh and brush up against the darkness. It is not trying to hide any of that from you. That is part of the spiritual journey. But the energy here must be of a higher frequency, a higher vibration, as much as possible. I would like Bliss Writer to become a support community, for myself and each of my readers, as we all explore our various spiritual paths. I really want it to be a place to share spiritual ideas, insights, revelations, etc. I want it to be a loving, open, receptive, sharing community.

I will share teachings here, journal entries to update you, insights, poetry and other materials as I am inspired to write them. This is what Bliss Writer is about. Someone has to take the first step, to reach out. Someone has to put their arms out, ready to embrace. In this case, at this blog, that is me, and I am still waiting for you, the reader, to accept my open invitation. But I admit to being afraid that things will continue as they have, being one-sided, so it feels to me as if I am talking to the void, with nobody really listening or paying attention. I will set an intention that this change.

Maybe Bliss Writer will have to be retired like my other blogs. Maybe I need to start a Discord server or something. Maybe I need to start a website or a forums. But for now Bliss Writer is the easiest way for me to readily share whatever I have to share, continuing my writing habit, establishing me even more as a writer.

If you have come to this blog and left feeling confused, I apologize. If there are blog entries, sections or anything else that do not seem to fit, please let me know. I want to be sure that when you come in here, you will expect updates, teachings and poetry, and that is what you will find. Also that these materials will be of a certain energy. If I have failed anywhere in either regard, I wish to immediately correct it.

I am here, at Bliss Writer, to tell you that you are not alone. It is hard to leave a faith you have held for many years. Especially if your parents and their parents also hold it. It is hard to believe something so deeply that when it falls apart, it seems like your world is coming down around you. It is hard to find the light, or even remember it is there, when you are caught up struggling through the morass and all around you is darkness. It is really hard being a poet when it seems as if nobody wants anything to do with poetry. Who really wants to stand up proudly and proclaim they are a poet? And it is hard to be a writer, who has written things for decades, and just wants to get something published but has found nothing but rejection letters.

If any of that describes you, then Bliss Writer can be a haven for you. It is a place where someone, going through the same things, continues to plunk away at the keyboard, sharing their ideas, inspirations and thoughts. Such a journey, as the one we are on, is easier if it is taken together.

Welcome to Bliss Writer!

Welcome home.

A Vital Aspect of Working Through Feelings

I learned something, a long time ago, after years of trying to play the referee for my parents whenever they were fighting. I tried for so long to keep them together, trying to problem solve, inserting myself into their arguments, trying to calm everyone down. But something happened (the details elude me) and I learned that I need to let them work it out. That I was not doing them any favors by inserting myself between them. Or for that matter, myself.

There are so many hard lessons to learn and this is one of the most difficult, especially if you are a problem solver or have mediator tendencies. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, it is better to step back and stay out of it. Sometimes a problem is not yours to solve, or an argument is not yours to mediate. You will not be operating from a state of love when you step in, it will be a state of fear that drives you, way down deep below your conscious motives. It will only seem loving, like you care, on the surface. But deep down there is a fear of loss driving you.

Or if you are a problem solver, like me, you may come to believe or feel that you have to solve every problem that comes your way, and it almost becomes like an obligation. I can’t trace the fear roots right now. But I can tell it is not love, not if it feels like an obligation. Or maybe the thing driving you is the sense of accomplishment you feel when you successfully solve a problem. But that tracks down to a fear that you have little or no value. That fear I know all too well. If you do not have a lot, or any, self-confidence, or feel worthless, or maybe even feel powerless, solving a problem may help alleviate these feelings.

In any case the rule remain roughly the same as the ones for working through your feelings. You have to acknowledge, allow, feel what needs to be felt, then release and let go. You have to face the feelings and work them, and another side to this is that you have to be willing to let others face their feelings and work them. You must not interfere with another individual’s process, especially if you profess to care about them! You may be feeling real pain, watching them go through whatever it is they are going through, but the absolute best thing you can do is just be there for them. Just love them and support them, lend a listening ear or a warm embrace when it is asked for. If you are a truly good listener, you will be able to ask questions that support them and help them clarify things for themselves. This is invaluable!

Nothing in all creation has more valuable than your loving, supportive presence. Not trying to fix anything, not trying to diminish anything, not trying to change anything. You are allowing the feelings to be there for this other person, and you are allowing them to work through them. They might stumble and fall, you are there with a hand, but only if they ask for it. And if they get lost in their feelings, unable to work through them, and end up hurting themselves or others, it is not your fault. You have done all you can do, and done it the best way it can be done. If you have truly been there for them, loving and supporting them, allowing them to work through things without interfering, then you have done the best you could. There is nothing to feel guilty about. You will need to work through your own feelings around what happens, then forgive them and yourself as needed.

So not only is the best course of action is for you to work through your own feelings, acknowledging they are there, allowing them to be there without trying to change them, embracing them with acceptance and love, feeling them as long as you need to feel them, and only then releasing them and letting them go, you ALSO must be willing to let others do the same with their own feelings!

On top of that, you need to learn to care about yourself enough, to love and value yourself enough, that you stop inserting yourself into situations where you are essentially sacrificing some aspect of yourself. It could be that you are not honoring your own needs and instead are throwing yourself into providing the needs of others. Or it could be that you need space away from people, but you are inserting yourself in the middle of them.

It all boils down to disregarding your needs in some way. You need to learn to step back and give yourself what you need, first and foremost, before jumping in to help others. You may even see that the way in which you were going to help was not the best way to help at all. It did not honor the needs of those you wanted to help or your own. At best was a distraction, at worse an interference.

The good news is that as you learn to pause and take a step back before you do something, and as you learn to attend to your needs first, you will find yourself in a better position to see the best way to help, or if you even should help. You will gain a little clarity with a little distance. Operating from that place of clarity, after addressing your own needs, will make you more effective if you decide to step in and help. It will also allow you to help in ways that are loving an supportive instead of interfering.

It is time to put away the magnifying lens and referee’s whistle. Time to not “… just do something, stand there.” Take a minute, become aware of your own feelings and needs, then attend to these first. Fill up your cup. You can’t fill another’s cup of yours is empty. So fill it up, then take a step back to look at the situation. What is the best way you can show your love and support here? Is this something the person, or the people, need to work out for themselves, or among themselves? If so, leave it alone. Just be there for those you care about.

As far as working through feelings goes, I will have an ebook available soon which I will be giving away for free. It goes over a lot of what I have said these last few years. Look for a link soon!

6-8-2020 – Probably About Time I Did An Update…

It’s weird… I started writing an ebook, intending that it should be given away for free. That seems to have sucked up all my time. Before that I was writing an autobiography. Working through painful memories is tough. I haven’t felt really inspired to write a poem for a while. Well maybe once recently, then I forgot to write down what came to me. Maybe I can do that here later.

So this is a sort of update to let all my readers know what’s going on. Firstly, I do not have the coronavirus so no worries there. I did catch something in California that I have still not shook, it causes me to cough occasionally – and I have been dealing with some really bad stomach issues. That has been going in for years now. Overall though I am feeling good, getting out getting some exercise. I happen to have a development a short ways away from my driveway – a nice wide sidewalk I can run barefoot on.

Learned some more on manifesting things thanks to Shaman Durek’s book, “Spirit Hacking.” I have been applying that and it has kicked in in major ways. The aforementioned stomach issues, and the headache I had after that, are two things I used everything I have learned, including from Shaman Durek, to free myself of these physical symptoms. I haven’t found the energetic cause yet, but I am working on putting my awareness there and figuring that out. I will use this with whatever I got in Cali too. I think it is something like walking pneumonia, due to being wet and shivering cold all night.

I still have a place to live for a month, but things may change come July. Possible landlord issues. I will, of course, and have been, applying all the manifestation teachings to this. I am championing and cheering on what is the highest best for all of us, whether or two families go their separate ways or stay together. I have come to see I need my own space though, my own spot for writing and YouTube. I can’t sleep in the RV and work in what is essentially my parent’s living room any longer.

I am also working through Gay Hendricks, “Learning To Love Yourself”, and both these books I am mentioning I have likely mentioned before. But there is a lot of material there, and sometimes each book goes over the same terrain. It is interesting. I recommend buying Learning To Love Yourself. I can not recommend Shaman Durek’s book just yet. There are some conflicting things in there. But I can say it is worth reading, checking out at your library when they open again, or renting the ebook if you can find it.

Now speaking of YouTube… I have recently committed to embracing myself as a professional YouTuber, much as I have embraced being a writer. So I will be working on my YouTube channel and changing things. New content will be coming, and I will be doing regular content both here and there. If there is anything you would like to see me do in YouTube, comment below with your suggestions.

As it stands now I would like to do videos for RAID Shadow Legends and become part of Plarium’s Creator’s Club. I will also do things for Minecraft and possibly Morrowind. This content will be on my main channel, and I will have other channels for Tech where I will place tutorials, and Vlog for Vlogging. The Circle will likely be placed in the Vlog channel. I will likely archive everything else in the Archive channel. My previous work at YouTube was done without monetization or any real care to be honest. I wanted to help people, I did the best videos I could, but I never spent time making things professional. Never took time with my YouTube work. That is now changing.

I guess the last thing to mention is that I am looking into a college path again, this time for a 4-year degree. If I can find the funding and avoid loans, I would like to go to Southern California University to pursue a Bachelor’s in Architecture. I have been facing a lot of resistance to this on some internal level. I need to sit down, fill out the forms, begin the hoop jumping and see if everything falls into place as it did for Clark college.

I am not sure I can commit to one video and one blog post every week. But I think it is important that I commit to something, maybe 1 each minimum every two weeks? I will be adjusting my Patreon campaign accordingly. I still have my SpreadShirt campaign, and you can now get facemasks!

5-19-2020 – The Non-experience of Hope

I could have sworn I wrote or said something about hope before, maybe it was one of my episodes of The Circle. In any case, it seems I have written about this very little here. This post is both a post on its own and a continuation of what I was writing yesterday, as I said I may come back and write more on that later.

In, “Learning To Love Yourself” Gay Hendricks has a whole section on Hoping in Chapter 3. He says, “Hope is another mode of non-experience.” He also says, “Hoping something will be different practically guarantees it will not change.” He goes on to talk about how change needs space, and things like hoping, wishing, believing and deciding are based on fear. That makes these states space-denying, because we are operating under the “…assumption that we are to be rid of the thing we’re trying to change.”

I think this ties in fairly well with the things I have written these last few days. And I have encountered this teaching before by others, that hope places whatever you are hoping for in the future, so that you never reach it, that you need space to create change, and that to create space you need love. It all comes down to being willing to embrace and experience whatever it is that you do not want to embrace or experience right now, that you want to be something better or different.

It all boils down to fear VS love – either you are afraid of this thing you want to change, or afraid that you are not worthy of it changing, or you find your way to loving this thing you want to change, and you find a way to see that you are worthy of love. You start by loving what you can, right now, in this moment. If you can not love this thing, love yourself for you feel about it. This is what I am practicing in regards to my current life experience. If you can not love yourself, love how you feel about yourself, or the aspect of yourself you enjoy, are happy with or proud of.

Self-love is not a dirty word. Because self-love fills up your glass, and allows you to have love that you can then give to others. If you have no love for yourself, you having nothing in your glass, and nothing you can give others. Self-love, self-care self-esteem and selfishness, believe it or not, are all virtues. People get self-centeredness and selfishness confused. Selfishness just means you are taking care of yourself first. You have to do that or you can’t take care of anyone else! But to be self-centered means that you only care about yourself, and this is an undesirable state to be in. However, if that is where you are, you have to find your way to loving yourself for being that way, if you want to change!

You have to feel that you are important enough and worthy enough to be loved to be cared for, to be appreciated, to be desired, etc. If you do not feel this way about yourself, you are dealing with a lack of confidence and self-esteem. I am right there with you. I am working through many years of self-abuse too. Whenever you are unable to love yourself, you are likely abusing yourself, or allowing yourself to be abused. The only way to stop is to work through these issues, so that you can come to love and accept yourself as you are.

In any case, we have veered off-subject. If you are sitting there, hoping the perfect woman (or man) will come in and sweep you off your feet, you will never get dressed, go out there where the people are, and look for him or her, and as a result you will continue to sit there, alone, until you do. To use a Christian teaching, “Seek and ye shall find.” This is the action part of manifestation. There is action you must take to bring things into your life, and only in doing these actions in the natural flow of your life will you bring ito it the things you desire.

But as I have said before, you are not trying to make anything happen. This is taking action as needed, while remaining in a mindset of faith and trust that the Universe will provide. Hoping things will change will not get you there, because you are all closed up around whatever the issue is. You have to be willing to experience it. You have to be able to embrace it, which acknowledges it and accepts then, feel all you need to feel, then release it and let it go. Ultimately you have to be able to love it, and in doing so, you unclench your fist, release your grip around it, and give the thing room to change.

5-18-2020 – Taking Back Your Power

Before I begin you should probably watch this:

Be aware that Teal can be very challenging, and there is a lot of stuff covered in that video which you may need to absorb, process or unpack. I had to watch it twice and took half a dozen or so pages of notes. I am still, a few days later, trying to sort through what I have learned.

Interestingly, I am not getting this message from just one source. I finally picked up Shaman Durek’s book, “Spirit Hacking” yesterday and read where I left off, a section entitled, “Your Power Is Not Waiting To Be Found On The Side of A Milk Carton.” Even before Teal’s video, I think where I was reading in, “The Tao of Manifestation” by the Barefoot Doctor was talking about this same subject.

I think it is safe to say that the Universe is telling me something. You ignore stuff like this to your own detriment. If multiple sources are bringing you the same or related information, you best pay attention. So many of us are waiting around for God to save us, or speak to us, and then when the Universe does speak up like this we shrug it off and ignore it. That you are getting this info means you are ready to take the next step in your growth. You are ready to transition from one level to another. In gamer terms, you are ready to level up.

I acknowledge and admit that I am feeling a little concerned, a little worried, that I will mess this up somehow. Do something wrong, miss my train as it were. I am doing my best to pay attention, to work through this, picking up what I can, applying it where I can. I almost wrote that I hope it is enough, but I am coming to see, or perhaps remembering that I have seen (did I write about hope before?) that hope actually keeps you from what you are hoping for. I will search, post a link, maybe talk more on this later.

In any case, I am determined to work through and with this in every way I know how, and that in the process the step will be taken, I will level up and transition to whatever my next lesson may be. I want this to be the case, and I also want it to be that case that after doing so, I will find myself in a place of more experience based understanding, more power, more confidence and all I need to manifest the things I want to bring into my life.

At the same time I am determined to find my way to loving my life as it is, whatever my current experience may be, and then move from there to loving myself. I want that openness, that space, which is only created through love, to create change, big change, desirable change, meaningful change in my life and my experience of the world.

I may have more to say on this later… This is a little rough I know. But I guess sometimes a little roughness is needed, depending on how and where you find yourself in your life.

5-11-2020 – Struggling

I have been finding it increasingly hard to remember that bright Santa Barbara sun, and the things I had determined, or came to see, back then. My friend has been on my case about my attitude regarding what I will call here the “Eject Button.” As this blog does not deal with the darker stuff anymore – I save that for my other blog – you will just have to guess what I am referring to here.

Anyhow my friend wants me to remember my attitude and how I felt when I had initially came back from California. He has it in his head that I was no longer considering using the “Eject Button.” I didn’t think that was true, but something I posted here on my return seems to disagree. I thought I had pushed that idea to the back of my mind but nothing had changed enough to get me to let go of it entirely.

Over the last few days, as I have been reading, “Learning To Love Yourself” I have come to see the resistance I have to my life as it is. I have even posted about this here multiple times. It has come up, over and over. All things come down to Love or Fear. Resistance comes from fear. In Love there is opening and space. In Fear there is closing and no space. Space is needed for things to change.

When I am closed down tight around something, like an irritant inside a clam, there is no way that change can occur. Unlike inside a clam, where eventually a pearl will come into existence. Inside a person, resistance freezes things in time, keeps things the way they are and keeps them stuck. I acknowledge I am closed up tightly around everything I perceive to be an issue, everything I label as undesirable.

I can not love my life right now. I am unable to do that. But I can love myself for how I feel about my life. I am now making this as part of my practice, as a way of creating space where I can, in time, love my life, no matter how it may be. If I can find love for my life, I can create more space, which will allow my life to change. Maybe that is the only way I can create a life that, from my current perspective, would be more desirable.