It Is Time To Open

In doing things that we think of as requiring ability, skill or talent to do, we are like a flower. Some of us may bloom part way, never quite committing to our fullest potential. Some of us, while budded, may look around at others who have bloomed, and assume we can not bloom as beautifully, so we don’t even try. But how can we know what is inside of us unless we open and allow it to come out?

There is no ability, skill or talent to our blooming. Everyone is a flower, everyone can bloom, everyone has beauty inside that they can let out. Everyone has their own unique inner color and form. Nobody has a better color or a better form. We might perceive the blooming of another to be more beautiful in comparison to another or ourselves. We would refer to such a person as having ability, skill or talent. But that comparison exists only in our perception.

To whatever or whoever we call God, who walks among us and is the energy inside us that connects us all to each other, we are all, each and every one of us, bloomed or not, loved, exactly as we are. Whoever or whatever we call God does not love the ones we perceive to be beautiful more. Whoever or whatever we call God does not love the ones we perceive to be ugly less. When we see ourselves as beautiful or ugly, as having ability, skill or talent, or not, whoever or whatever we call God does not see this. Because whoever or whatever we call God knows exactly what we have inside.

When you approach something that really compels you, really draws you, really interests or speaks to you – something you have always wanted to do, something you may have enjoyed doing in the past, something you feel you would enjoy doing now, maybe even something you enjoy doing – that is the right time to throw out all your beliefs about ability, skill or talent. That is a good time to allow yourself to do whatever this is to your fullest potential to do so, in your own unique way.

For me there are two things that fit this description. Drawing and singing. What is it you hear about both of these? That you have to practice a lot, that you have to train yourself, right? Also that there are these things called ability, skill or talent, and that you have to have one of these draw or sing. It is easy to justify the belief in these things. If I sat down and tried to draw something I would think of as beautiful and technically proficient, in other words, if I were to sit down and try to create a drawing that would look photo realistic (photo realism being the ideal of perfection) but only managed to do something simple, maybe a step up from a stick figure, I would assume (and most would say correctly) that I have no ability, skill or talent for drawing. Or, if these others are a little nicer (or they want money from me) they would tell me something like, “All you need is training. Practice drawing every day and you will get better!”

This is what usually happens when us flowers converse among each other. When we are younger we draw to the best of our ability. But as we get older and continue to draw the same way be come to believe we can not draw. When we are younger we sing and we don’t care who is listening or how we sound. As we grow older, if we are lucky not to have others criticizing us, we hear ourselves and are not happy that we don’t sound like our favorite singer, our idol, at the time. In both cases we give up. It is always due to criticism, from others, from ourselves, or from others and ourselves. We never allow ourselves to draw or sing as beautifully and uniquely as only we can. We never fully open, never showing our inner beauty to others, never allowing the light outside to come in. It is only in openness that the light can come into us, and it is only in openness that we can show our unique beauty and form. It is only when we are fully open that we can do that thing we want so desperately to do to the fullest of our ability, in our own unique way.

What I have been doing, after reading, “Illusions” by Richard Bach (in reference to when Shimoda picks up the guitar at the hardware store) is allowing myself to draw. I used to say to my highest ability, but I see the belief systems embedded there now, so I think a better way to say it is to my fullest potential. Or I could keep it simple, I am allowing myself to draw. There is this desire however that has me wanting to draw masterfully. I can already draw. I am not happy with my drawing at this point. I assume that I am not allowing myself to draw to my fullest extent or potential. I believe, still, that practice and training are required to draw what I would call well. But, to paraphrases Shimoda, “Then that is exactly how it will be.”

If I believe I must practice and train myself to open fully to my drawing, and my singing, if I believe it must be hard, that I must work for it, as society and the world, for the most part, says it does, then I will have to practice and train to get better. It will be hard, it will be work, I will have to work at it. Also, there is a limit to what I can do, based on the concepts of ability, skill and talent. My vocal range can only go so far. Any singing teacher would tell me this. I could go to a doctor and get a professional opinion regarding it. It seems logical, it must be right. Right?

Wrong. It is all only what I call an “apparent reality.” The “real world” is an illusion, and all “apparent reality” is a part of that illusion. It is reality as defined by the perceptions, collectively and individually, of others. Of the majority, in most cases. It is called reality because, “It has always been that way” or “It as been that way for as long as I can remember” or because “That was how I have been taught” or because “I have a degree that says it is so” on and on it goes. But no reality is really real, it is only apparently real, only as real as we collectively and individually choose it to be. Another possible reality is that everyone can draw or sing, regardless of ability, skill or talent, and without any prating or training.

We live in dualism, which means that if one reality exists, so does its opposite. If there is a reality where we have to learn to draw and sing, where we have to practice it to get better, and we are limited by ability, skill or talent, then there has to exist another reality where none of this is true. You can’t get around it. If you believe in good then evil also exists for you. No matter how much you may deny it. Where one thing exists, so exists its opposite, this is the law of dualism. Where there is something you love, there also exists something you hate. Where there is something you desire, there also exists something you do not desire.

Richard Bach demonstrates this beautifully and simply by his character Shimoda, picking up the guitar, and playing it in such a way we would define it as beautifully or skillfully. But Shimoda had never played a guitar before in his life. He had no ability, skill or talent, no practicing or training. He wanted to play, so he picked up the guitar and allowed himself to play. This is what I am doing in regards to my drawing. What I will do in regards to singing. I am allowing myself to do it, and gently but persistently removing any beliefs to the contrary. I am determined to open fully, to no longer be partly open. To allow myself to do all the things I have always wanted to do, whatever they are.

Why do we choose to believe that we must have ability, skill or talent? That we have to practice and receive training in order to do well? Does a flower need ability, skill or talent to open? Does a flower have to practice openness? Does a flower have to be trained how to be open? No. Flowers open naturally. In fact nothing could be more natural for a flower. It is the same for us. Our opening is just as natural to us as our breathing. We have no more need for ability skill, talent, to practice or be trained, to open than we need them to breathe.

I am already doing this in my writing. Although you could argue that I have always had a natural penchant for it, that I have always been good at it, that I have been writing for years so I have a lot of practice, all that would produce is technically perfect writing. It is writing most people would look at all think of as good. But it is not easy, flowing, natural writing. It is not writing would contain all my unique beauty and form. It is not writing from inside of me, maybe a natural flow from my Higher Self through me.

Maybe the difference is not detectable. Maybe only you, the reader, will notice any sort of change. But on my end I can tell you the writing I am doing right now, in this moment, feels better. It feels higher somehow. It feels more free and open somehow. That is writing coming from a full blooming, a full blossoming of my expression through words. Allowing the light to come in and go out from my unique beauty and form.

This is how I wish to draw and sing. This is how I wish to do everything that I have even the remotest interest in. From dancing to barefoot running. Whatever it is I want to do, I wish to do it from a state of full openness. It is this state of full openness I seek to, that I wish to, guide you towards. Somehow, I don’t know how (and the how is not my business anyway) I will do so.

It is time for a new way to teach, not a teaching that implies others must be trained. Not a teaching that requires training. But a teaching that guides, a teaching that brings a remembering, because you all already know everything I have said to you here. At some level, deep inside, even though you may choose to ignore it or may not recognize it, you can feel the validity of everything I have said to you here. You are beginning to remember, and in that remembering, you will open.

So the kind of teaching I wish to do is a guiding to your opening, in the familiar guise or role of a teacher. Someone you may see as having great ability, skill or talent, showing you how a thing such as drawing is done. But I would have no great experience, no professional training. I would not be practicing every day. I would simply be expressing myself through drawing, whenever the desire for expression comes to me, and allowing myself to do so to my fullest potential, fully open, in my own unique way.

That is the goal, if I was one to set goals, and in general, I am not. It would be more accurate to call this commitment, right now, in this present moment, I am committing to doing this, setting the intention to do this. I the meantime I will continue to apply it to my own life, and work through the beliefs that create resistance between me and the fulfillment of my desires and intentions.

A Cleansing

I would like to take a moment to thank the community at Dao Bums, who have really helped me through a lot over the last couple of years. Here is a link to this awesome spiritual community:
The Dao Bums

I would also like to thank Silvia Nakkach. By just being herself, doing her thing, she released an album called Musical Massage Inside. Here is a link:
Musical Massage Inside

Here is the first track someone shared at YouTube:

From the instant it started to play, I remembered when I used to play Myst. The music brought me back to some of my favorite experiences with that game. I recalled the age Edanna from Myst 3 Exile:

But Silvia’s music did much more than bring back these pleasant memories. I found a purpose. Something I have had in the back of my mind for a while now. I have decided that she will help me access my full singing ability, that I will attend one of her workshops, specifically the one in Santa Cruz, CA in late July.

I now have a purpose. Something to live for. I don’t like to mention it here, this blog is supposed to encourage, empower and inspire. But for as long as I can remember I have been alone, directionless, dreamless, lost, purposeless. I didn’t have anything that I felt so strongly about that I wanted to keep going. Not before or since Wayne Dyer. But now I do.

It is not that I choose to feel like I have felt. It is not a conscious, to my knowledge, choice. It is the result of my responses to the circumstances and situations of my life up to this point. The train of thought in my mind have been running along the same set of rails for a very long time. It is hard to carve a new path, to think a new way. But I am making progress. I am not anywhere near as angry and depressed as I used to be.

Listening to this first track also did something else. I had been in communication with someone. I thought we were becoming friends. When I first read the things they wrote, I thought maybe they were spiritually mature, a master I could learn from maybe, or at least a spiritually mature friend I could talk to.

I didn’t realize, until after I listened to that track, how much of a fog I was in from what this person wrote, especially in their latest words. I didn’t realize how coated in a sort of funk or gunk their words left me. They drug me down and had a definite, but subtle, negative impact on me, on the frequency I was operating on.

Now nobody can drag you off of what Abraham calls your high flying disc. Someone does or says something, and you react or respond, and end up falling off your disc. I allowed what this person said to affect me this way. I chose my reaction and response to their words, even if it was not entirely conscious. I chose not to be more conscious of the energy or frequency of their words. I chose to be unconscious, and so was affected outside my conscious awareness. I guess I had an idea about them, and was seeing that, not what was really being presented to me.

But I feel cleansed now. I am no longer questioning myself. I am no longer hearing the words they wrote playing over and over in my mind, causing me to criticize, doubt and judge myself. I feel better now. I am operating at a higher frequency. I have found a purpose, something to keep me going these next few months. I have faith, trusting that the next step will become clear after this workshop I am attending. I am also free of the old earning mindsets that brought in the money to see Wayne Dyer, but made me beat up my physical body in the process.

I had something hanging over my head, the Dao Bums community helped me to deal with that, and Silvia gave me a purpose, in the process cleansing me. I am so appreciative and thankful right now. I just had to come in here and share this with everyone.

This is just one example of how we affect each other. When we do the things that we love to do, when we are just being ourselves, that has a positive impact and influence on others. We have no idea how far-reaching that can be. Society calls it being selfish or self-centered. But that is exactly how we should be.

Self-Centered: Centered on our Higher Self. Selfish: Loving and accepting ourselves, doing what feels good – what we enjoying doing, passionately following our dreams and listening to our hearts

When we live like this we set an example for the rest of the world. We elevate and empower others. When we speak to them, we are motivated by love, not fear. Because we love and accept ourselves, we can love and accept them. Because we passionately follow our hearts and our dreams, we can encourage them to do the same. Because we enjoy what we do, our work is our play, we can help others do the same, we can show them how.

If we do not live this way, we have nothing we can share with anyone else. But in living this way, we have so much to share, even if we are just being ourselves., keeping to ourselves, doing our own thing. The frequency of everyone in our sphere of influence is raised. We may never know just how much we have helped another, even though we may have never met them or contact them in any way.

They could come hear us sing, and find themselves inspired. They could watch us dance, and for a few moments help them forget all the the things in their mind they are bringing them down:

Remember this! Remember the influence you have on the world, which most of the time you are not aware you have. What kind of example will you set for others? For your children? For your spouse? For your community? How will you live your live? Joyously or painfully?

Will you hurt others or inspire them? Will you passionately follow your dreams or bury them? Will you be yourself and allow your purpose to unfold, or will you live the live your patents or those who raised you or society tells you that you should live?

Are you truly happy, right now, in this moment? Are you living the life you want to live? Are you motivated and ruled by fear or love? Are you aware and conscious, or living on autopilot, unconsciously?

Take a moment and bring your awareness to these questions. Without criticism or judgment, write down whatever comes to mind for each one. Learn from what you write, make a conscious choice and effort to change your life.

And please, be careful what you say to others. Because you have no idea how that may affect them.