Another Issue with Taking The Victim Role

So as I am sure I have mentioned before I am working my way through ACIM (A Course In Miracles.) Today I read something that, essentially, said that when we take any sort of victim stance (excluded, rejected, hurt, offended, etc.) we make our brother, also referred to as the son of God, guilty of doing that to us. It is an attempt to mix two dissimilar things – I can’t quite recall their names. I am still working this out in my mind. Anyway that is what the ego does. It attempts to make what is unreal or illusory real.

The fact is that your brother (this meaning any other fellow human) is a Son of God and is as innocent as you are. Any attempt to make them guilty of anything also, inevitably, makes you guilty as well. It occurs to me that the other problem with taking a victim stance is that not only are you playing the role of a victim, which disempowers you, you are also victimizing the one or ones you are making the victimizers. Because, like you, they are actually innocent.

I know this is hard to grasp, but I will try to paint the picture another way. To be excluded, left out or rejected takes, at a minimum, two parties. You, the excluded, left out and rejected one, and the others who have, in the reality you are making, excluded, left out or rejected you. They become guilty, you become innocent, so it seems in your perception. The same if you are beaten, robbed or raped. The same if you are cursed at or given the cold shoulder. Any treatment you deem undesirable that you receive requires two parties, one party will perpetuate the act, the other the act is perpetuated on.

Now this will disturb you, but even when we are talking about genocidal acts – the Jews being killed en masse by the Nazis – the Jewish people had their part in creating the atrocities they experienced The Jewish people placed the Nazis in the role of the victimizers, making the Nazis guilty and the Jewish people innocent. But the truth, at a soul level, the truth beyond the ego and the body it thinks of as itself, is that all are innocent, pure Sons of God, and to put anyone in the role of a victimizer is to victimize them.

When you play the part of the victim you disempower yourself, and you disempower those who are playing the roles of your victimizers. Both states, victim and victimizer, exist only in perception. There is a silent, unstated mutual agreement here. You put on the mask of the victim, they put on the mask of the victimizer, but these are only masks, not the true individual underneath. At any time you could take off your victim mask and put on a victimizer mask. Likely you already have, many times. And your victimizere can take off their victimizer masks and become the victims. But as I said, these are only masks, only roles we play, NOT The true actors.

An example drawn from my own life… I am working very hard at becoming a successful YouTuber, and my main work is in playing Minecraft, creating videos for it. But I see now I have fallen into a trap of my own making. Because I have placed YouTube in the role of the victimizer – making it hard for poor me, a struggling YouTuber, to succeed. And I have placed players I enjoy watching, players I respect, into victimizer roles, making me the excluded, ignore and left out one. When I realized this I also realized I didn’t want to do that. As I said I respect these guys – I want to be their friend – I do not want them to be my enemy.

The truth of the matter, at least as far as this server I wish to be a part of is concerned. is that these guys have little if any knowledge of me. How can I blame them for excluding or ignoring me when they likely do not even know I exist? This drama exists only in my head. It is coming directly from the ego, I am sure. If I want to be a part of this server, if I want to become friends with these guys, then I have to climb up to their level, not drag them down to mine. I have to keep working hard at Minecraft and become the best builder and YouTuber I can. If any opportunities come to collaborate or join others in the Minecraft community on a project, I need to jump in there. The question is, “How can I contribute? What can I do?” instead of “What can they do for me?”

I need to do this with my whole heart, even if I am never noticed, even if I never get to be a part of this server. Make that my goal, my intention, work towards reaching it in whatever ways it flows into my life to do so, but let go of any expectations – any idea or thought that anyone owes me anything. I have to be unattached from the outcome. Let go of any demanded or expected result. Just enjoy myself – that is the biggest key. If Minecraft (and making videos for it) is my passion, then pursue that relentlessly. If it isn’t, find what is my passion and go after that. The burden and responsibility for whatever I think of as success lies solely on me – nobody else. It is time for me to stop making myself the victim, and to stop making others the victimizers. It is time for me to stop disempowering myself, and in so doing, disempower others.

I am not sure exactly how to go about all of this. I don’t know how things will play out. I am struggling with my mindset every day. There is a lot of work I need to do internally, and in applying myself to whatever my passion is, which in this case seems to be Minecraft. I can’t let things get me down as I have before. I can’t keep telling myself disempowering, unsupportive stories like, “YouTube is flooded with Minecrafters” or “You aren’t good enough” or “You came into Minecraft too late” or” All the OG Minecrafters have either left or don’t care about you” or “You’re too old”, etc. My focus has to be on doing what I enjoy and am passionate about. I need to have a dream, a vision, I am working toward, but I also have to be able to freely let go of it as needed. And I also have to trust that the Universe will provide me with what I have envisioned, its equivalent, or something better.

So… How about you? Is there anyone you need to release from the victimizer role? Do it now. By freeing them you also free yourself.

Change Is NOT Just An Inside Job

An idea that has been circulating in the “New Age” and “Spiritual” teachings is that in order to change your world, you have to first change yourself. That change begins inside. I even made a t-shit saying this! I have said as much here at this blog. I may have talked about some other aspects of this, but I feel compelled to write about this subject tonight, so I am honoring that creative aspect or spirit in me by doing so.

A friend of mine has advised me that leaving, as I still intend to do, is not the best solution. That maybe I should wait. That I should not rush. That perhaps the Universe is telling me I should stay. But basically that I have old beliefs, holdovers from when I was  Christian, that have created my life experience, my reality. And that leaving will not fix that, I need to address the internal causes first.

I think I have been able to help him understand what is driving me. I think we are on the same page now. But until a few moments ago, I had no way to prove my case. Let’s use the example I just thought of to make a point…

Let’s say there is a woman in an abusive relationship. If she leaves the abuser, she will end up in another abusive relationship. These patterns tend to repeat. It is only when something changes inside the woman that she can leave the abusive the relationship, and break the cycle by entering into a more supportive, loving relationship.

This is the key here… The woman can stay there in the abusive relationship, forever reading books or going to conferences to change all her old beliefs, but to complete the process of freeing herself from the abusive relationship she must LEAVE. And she may not have a plan. She may even have children she has to take care of. If the abusive partner was controlling, she will have little or no money, no job or career, and if she has children no way to get these.

Some could say it is unwise for her to leave. Her children need her, she has to have food and a roof over her head, she should at least have a plan before she goes. But that keeps her in a dangerous relationship for both her and her children, if she has them.

My point is that bouncing around from place to place without making any internal changes will continuously out you in the same circumstances and situations you are trying to get away from. But staying in the same place while continuously doing internal work will ALSO keep you in the same circumstances and situations you want to get away from. AND it is hard to make internal changes with little or no support from the external living situation.

There has to be a point where you have done the needed internal work, and the next step is to change the external circumstances. BOTH are required in order for complete and lasting change to occur. You must both do the internal work, being willing to change, and you must change your external experience such that it supports your new vision for your life.

In my case I have been working on my internal issues for YEARS now. But the external is still missing my people, my spiritual support group. It is still missing my lover or lovers. It is still missing my own house on my own piece of land. It is still missing a family of my own. It is still missing a way for me to support myself. It is still missing a purpose or a reason for continuing to live this live. It is still missing happiness.

If I stay here these missing things will remain missing. In order to obtain these missing things I must go and seek them out. THAT, at the heart of this, is why I must leave. I do not need the gift of prophecy (which when I was a Christian I was told I had) to predict that if I stay here these missing things will remain missing. It is obvious.

But not only that, if I stay here I will be a burden to those living here. Sure I can work for the lady my parents are renting space from. Sure I could crash in the living room. When the work runs out, I could get my parents to pay an additional $200 a month for me to stay here, and they would do it.

But it is obvious, if you look at the situation clearly, that this is in the direction of force, not flow. I have to make it work here. I have to make myself fit here. Leaving, while hard on a number of levels, is actually the easiest course of action for me. It requires much less effort on my part to leave than to stay. I may not have a plan and the future is uncertain. But that is the most effortless path for me to follow, and, as I have said, it is the only way to obtain those things I desire. They are not located here at this time.

I would be lying if I said I liked the idea of thumbing or using public transportation  to travel down the California coast, wandering around with no goal or plan, in the vain hope that I will find some thread of the life I want to live that I could follow. I am not looking forward to sleeping on the side of the road. Living like a beach bum. Limited resources. Little if any food. No safe place to sleep. No creature comforts. No way to make money unless I stumble onto work opportunities. It does look bleak.

My friend speaks right when he says that at least here I have a roof over my head. But was we have just shown, sometimes having a roof over your head is not a good enough reason to stay in one place. Maybe even sometimes it is better to walk or run towards a definite or possible death instead of drifting towards it. If the situation in which you find yourself is leaving you unhappy, perhaps it is time simply to leave?

Maybe the external has to change first before one is willing to work on the internal. Or perhaps the external must change after the internal has been worked on. Either way, sometimes what is needed is a decision and action. Make it, see what happens, if it is not yielding the results you want, make another decision and take another action.

We are not meant to live our lives like flies in amber, stuck in one place for all eternity. Living is fluid, fluctuating. Change is constant. The person you married years ago may not the the best person for you to be with today. The friends you had years ago may not be the best people to be your friends now. We have to learn how to accept this, how to let go and move on. We need to learn how to move, when moving is required.

I hope my friend reads this and gains some understanding.

7-7-2019 – Independence Day

So July 4th has come and gone. I think back, and still can’t believe I am a 2018 graduate! It seems so long ago, almost like it happened to another person. But no, this was the major event of my life last year.

I have been helping a lady I occasionally work for these last few days. The work itself hasn’t been too hard. But I have worked hard at it, and it has worn me down. I have been paid promptly and well. But so many times I have had to lock my lips shut.

The lady I work for has an, entrenched, viewpoint about the world – how things are and how things work. Some examples:

  • I should never expect anything for free. If I do I am taking advantage. Everything must be paid for – must be an exchange.
  • The world is hard – life is hard.
  • People are not inherently good or nice.

I gotta say I am FUCKING TIRED of people telling me how I am doing something wrong, or am wrong, or am bad, or don’t know something, or don’t understand something, or have no experience, or that my opinion doesn’t matter, etc. etc. etc.

I WILL NOT be browbeat into submission to someone’s viewpoints about humans, society or the world in general and at large. I ADAMANTLY REFUSE to buy into the bullshit so many people in my life keep spewin’! I CLAIM and DEMAND the right to define humanity, society and the world in general and at large as I DAMN WELL PLEASE!!! My beliefs, feelings, opinions, thoughts and viewpoints are just as valid as EVERYONE ELSE’S, regardless of age, creed, experience, genetics, species, race. etc. etc. etc.

Yes, I am not a black man and I can not really know the black man’s struggle. Yes, I am not a woman and can not really know the struggle of women. Yes I have traveled only 43 times around the sun, not 69 or 93 or whatever. But that does not mean, in any way, that I CAN NOT know, at some level, or empathize, or understand, or be sympathetic too, these things which are outside my personal experience.

It also doesn’t mean that my viewpoints are irreverent and/or worthless. I can put myself in the black man’s shoes, the woman’s shoes, the elders’ shoes. And I know things. I do not know how or why I know things, but I have long known and even understood things outside my life experience.

My point is that you can put your GODDAMN box away, because I do not fit inside of it. I am beyond and outside your definition. I am unlike anyone you have ever met or known. I am unique. Not special – unique. I don’t know that I buy into the whole specialness thing. Maybe if I was born with superpowers. But unique – HELL YES! There never has been anyone like me on the earth, and there will never be anyone EXACTLY like me after I leave it. I am the only one. And I have experienced things few other humans in history have.

I am empathetic, sensitive and maybe even a bit telepathic. I have not tried to develop any of these abilities or skills or whatever they are. And it could be that I just have a knack for reading body language, though I doubt that is it. I FEEL things, I practice listening to my gut and intuition, and I advise my parents to do the same. I KNOW things I can not trace back to any previously collected knowledge.

As before I do not say these things to boast. No. I think all I am currently experiencing in my life can be experienced by others. It only requires openness and receptivity to certain things, and I share this constantly.

I have adopted the belief that all humans are inherently good – inherently divine. No matter what someone does, that is just a role they are playing, a mask they are wearing. That is God there, under that mask, acting out that role. I have also adopted the belief that the Universe is ultimately good, that it supports me and that there can be enough for all – that abundance of all good things can be experienced by all.

And I have adopted the belief that when I ask another for something. maybe an exchange will take place, but even if I do not give them anything in return, they receive a chance to serve. The opportunity to serve is an invaluable experience – a gift that we must all be open to giving to others in our lives, especially our loved ones. We are not meant to go it alone. We are all meant to support one another in our various endeavors, in whatever way it comes naturally to use to contribute, in whatever way we desire to contribute, with our whole heart.

Part of what pissed me off these last few days is that this person I work for tells me I should pay for my shower. After all, the lady my parents are renting from likely pays for her water. But as far as I am concerned, my parents are paying part of the rent, so they have equal rights, and those rights pass down to children and grandchildren. Especially as the person they are renting from has her daughters living with her.

But this idea, that I am somehow bad for believing I have the right to drop by and take a shower for free, and that I am taking advantage, contributing nothing for this privilege – as if I should feel guilty about it – well that sets me off. Do either of this lady’s daughters pay for their shower privileges? Are either of them expected to contribute in some way for their mother letting them live there, much less take a shower there? No, absolutely not.

And even if this were one person’s reality, or even the reality of a number of people, that does not mean it must be my reality. This does not mean I have to agree or contribute, to what I shall now call a collective delusion, in any way. Who is qualified to define reality for another? Not our authority figures, not our religion, not our loved ones, not anyone. Only we are qualified to define our reality. But too many of us just abdicate this power, this right, to others. I refuse to do this – I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE!

Instead I claim my full power of choice, to define reality in whatever way I desire and to live my life in whatever way I choose. I will choose my own viewpoints regarding humanity, society and the world in general and at large. I will define my own reality.

Today I claim independence. I claim independence from anyone’s definition of reality that in any way demeans, hurts, minimizes or fails to completely support me. I claim independence from any sources of fear – whatever its source. Instead I choose love. Finally I claim independence from guilt, shame and another control device or mechanism which another may use to try and control me. I am and will remain an unbridled stallion, running freely across the plains.

Today is MY Independence Day. 

The World Is Exactly As You Expect

For some time now I have been interested in investing. This has expanded to include cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Yet up until now I have not had enough money to invest in this. I did look into it once, when I had some money, but found that what I had was not enough for any significant return. My grandfather helped me invest in a Roth IRA some years ago, which I still have. When it was around $300.00 I was getting maybe $0.80 – $0.90 a year, but this has gone down. Inquiring into the interests rates at my credit union was discouraging – absolutely useless levels of return unless you had something like $10,000 in your savings account.

Tonight I saw an ad for an app called Stash. So I started looking it, also finding Robinhood and Wealthfront. I realized something though… I became aware of my intensely negative feelings towards these things. Not the apps themselves – more like remembering how my mom has been scratching and scraping through various programs to earn virtually nothing. When you break it down to an average hourly rate – it’s terrible. Not sure she even gets $0.10 an hour! Also I have looked into investing a little on the phone before, and I recall having issues. Also I remember the return rate from the credit union. I have taken all of these negative experiences and created a negative reality for myself which is not helping me experience and enjoy abundance at all.

In, “The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book” Seth says, “Structure follows expectation.” and “The world as you know it is a picture of your expectations.” What does this mean? Well I am looking at it like this… I was about to go looking for the return rates of these apps, and in the background I was expecting that the returns would suck, because in my mind “they” don’t want to give you money. Think about it. If 50,000 people downloaded an app and invested $10.00, that would be around $500,000. I my math right? Now if “they” (those in charge of the app) paid out $1.00 to each person that would be $50,000 in total they would be paying out. It seems to me that this is far more than “they” would ever want to pay out. Maybe $5,000, if that.

The problem is if I go in with what I might call logic but is really pessimism and search for return info, what I will find will be exactly what I expect – low return rates. Not worth my time. Most likely I would never try to use the apps. I would uninstall them immediately or any use of them would be colored by my negative attitude.

Here’s the rub… It doesn’t matter if the experience of every single person who uses an app, if the reality of the collective as it were, was one of low return rates. This in no way means it has to be, or will be, the same for me. Only if I expect it to. You see I can choose whether or not I will be in conscious agreement to the collective reality. Seth also says, “The world as the race of man knows it is the materialization en masse of your individual expectations.” It is not only my choice to consciously disagree with any undesirable reality, it is my responsibility. Because in order for some others to also turn their backs on their conscious agreement with the way certain things are, they need inspiration – an example to follow.

The only way we are going to change the world, folks, is if we challenge everything that we do not agree with or find desirable. We stop going into conscious agreement with these things. We start by being aware of our expectations towards these things, and we release these and let them go. It is up to us to choose to consciously create the experience we want, by going into something with an expectation that it will be exactly as we want it to be.

In other words, when I look into these investment apps, I have to be sure that my expectation is one of high returns, good value for time expended, and anything else I desire of them. This may be contrary to the generally accepted reality. But I am not buying into the generally accepted reality of anything anymore, starting right now. I choose to be aware of what I am consciously agreeing to, and to be sure I actually agree before doing so.

The only way the world is going to change is if we, consciously, agree to change it, by expecting it to be as we want, not as it currently appears. What seems so real right now, in this moment, is an illusion. All reality is an illusion – few see the world as it really is – most see it only as they perceive it to be. Reality is only real as long as you really, truly agree that it is real. And you do this at a conscious level – it’s not happening subconsciously or unconsciously. Typically we abdicate conscious control and just go through life with an attitude of, “…that’s just the way things are…” but this is an opinion, not a fact. The world is, literally, what we believe and expect it to be. If we don’t like the world, then we need to believe and expect differently about it.

Finding Your Way Through

At the suggestion of a friend I have opened up, “The Nature of Personal Reality” last night and began reading. Today I started on Seth’s introduction and encountered this, “What exists physically exists first in thought and feeling. There is no other rule.” This passage, and one from earlier, “Your conscious thoughts can be great clues in uncovering such obstructions” (obstructions defined as, “strongly negative characteristics present in your most intimate thoughts.”)

So I started thinking about what things I might be consciously thinking about. Asking myself if perhaps the things of which I am aware of are things I am thinking about. But then wondering if that could be considered a conscious thought, because it seems to me that a conscious thought is a thought I am actively directing. Unconscious thoughts would then be things I am thinking about that I am not directing. In other words, conscious thoughts are initiated, while unconscious thoughts just happen. But do both come from a point of awareness?

Anyhow one of the things I am aware of is my back pain. It comes, I have been saying, from sleeping on a fold-out sofa in an RV, on memory foam mattresses that loose all their resistance when they are warm. It has been warm these last few days, and as I recall, I always slept better when the room was cool and the mattresses were stiffer/firmer.

But if my physical pain existed first in thought and feeling, from what thought or feeling did it originate? I thought at first it came of my negative attitude towards my bed. Then I thought maybe it came from my dislike of having to put away my bed every morning and make it every night. Then I realized that it likely ultimately came from my negative attitude towards my current living circumstances/situation, living in this RV with my parents. When when I think these words it is like I am spitting them out. You can see now how the second quote applies, my conscious thoughts giving me clues here to these obstructions, these negative feelings.

What this all boils down to is that my bed literally cannot support me because I do not support it! As cute as this simple explanation is, if I go deeper I see that the reason I have this back pain is because I have not been accepting things as they are. I have not, do not and am not yet, loving and accepting my living circumstances/situation as they are. Instead I am railing against it – resisting it. It is the conflict from this resistance that is creating the physical pain I am experiencing. I bet if I dug a little deeper I could even figure out what lower back represents according to someone like Louise Hay in, “You Can Heal Your Life.” I may come back to that. But I’ll bet it’s related!

The question is, how do I fix this? What solution(s) can I try to address what is essentially the energetic cause of this physical pain? I have learned from the teachings of Abraham I can not jump from from where I am, in anger and hatred and resistance, to love. Too far to go. It seems to me what I can do is start to bless my bed, every night as I make it, and every morning as I put it away. Furthermore I can bless this RV and my current living circumstances/situation, every time I exit or enter the motor home. Finally I can be thankful – I can practice gratitude. I can be grateful that the RV has given me a place to live, a roof over my head as it were, and I can be thankful that I have a bed to sleep on. I can show appreciation for the fold-out sofa, for the memory foam mattresses, for my sheets, for my blankets, and for the RV itself.

I think gratitude is so important because it helps to dissolve negativity. Blessing something and being thankful for it is the acid that will eat away all the negativity around an issue. But it is a gentle acid. It helps the negativity to be gently released, to just effortlessly come free of whatever it is tightly wound around. Going after negativity with negativity may remove some of the negativity you are attempting to remove, but will almost certainly leave some behind. As always, flow not force is the key.

Finally an “attitude of gratitude” is, I think, the first step towards acceptance. This isn’t the same as surrender or giving up. Acceptance is a way of acknowledging things as they are and being willing to leave them like that. You do not wish they were something else, you don’t try to force them to change – you take them as they are. Acceptance of a thing leads to love. You can not love something you do not appreciate, and you can not love something you do not accept. To get to acceptance, you must go through appreciation AKA gratitude, and acceptance AKA allowance.

Acceptance AKA allowance is important because it puts you in the position of conscious choice. You are not simply reacting to something that comes into your experience. Something comes into your experience, and you choose how you will respond. You can fight against it – resistance – and this will create conflict in your life. It will take the power from you, and place it with whatever it is you are resisting. Basically you choose whether or not something that comes into your life will have power over you or not. You choose how to perceive it. You choose how you will label it. You can label it as negative and resist it – denying that it is there. Or you can accept that it is there, allow it to be as it is, then decide how you will perceive it.

To use my own life as an example, I attempted to head out on my own via bicycle in 2016 and then ended up coming back here, living in my parent’s RV. Things came together for me to go to Clark College. If I looked at things that way, this whole circumstance/situation has been a blessing. But living in the RV has meant I have no personal space, no hot showers, and I sleep on a heavily worn/used fold-out couch, on two memory foam mattresses, one a topper and one thicker, but neither of them very dense foam. I have to make my bed every night and put it away every morning. Up until now I have seen this as a curse. I have been resisting it. My resistance of it has not changed it at all. But it has caused me to be unable to perceive my circumstances/situation as a blessing. It has likely also lead to the physical issues I have been experiencing, including my back pain.

If I had instead accepted the RV and my bed, allowing these things to be as they are and not wishing they were anything else (resistance), I would have been able to practice gratitude, and I likely would not be experiencing these physical symptoms. The RV and my bed will be the same either way. I can get angry at these things all I want – they are still what they are – I can not change them by my negativity towards them. I can also appreciate these things – again they are still what they are – I can not change them by my positive attitude towards them.

Or can I? I suspect that things can change only when we are in a state of appreciation and allowance, because they have to match the energy we are giving out. In other words our attitude, feelings and thoughts draw things to us. Then our attitude, feelings and thoughts keep these things with us or help us to release them and let them go.

Something bad remains bad as long as we feel negativity towards it. Often our negativity towards it will make it worse. The molehill becomes a mountain. The princess feels the pea no matter how many mattresses are on it, and the pea gets larger and larger, even as it remains the same size. But something bad can not remain bad if we feel positive towards it. This means that the only way to change something undesirable which has come into our life experience is to love and accept that thing as it is, and to find a way to bless it and be thankful for it.

In my case it would be hard to love and accept my bed as it is, and I am not sure I could see it as a blessing, much less be thankful for it. But I can love and accept the RV and my current living circumstances/situation as they are. I can think about how this thing that has come into my life experience has been a blessing to me, and I can show appreciation for the ways it has been a blessing. That will, indirectly, allow me to bless and show appreciation for all the other aspects of this experience, including my bed. I can even find my way to appreciation and blessing for these physical symptoms, including my back pain, because it has given me a point through which I could gain the knowledge I now have. I might even be able to apply that to my bed and directly find a way to bless and appreciate it.

When you cut yourself there is pain that directs your attention to where the damage has occurred. Likewise my back pain has drawn my attention to where this damage has occurred, AKA the likely energetic cause of the physical back pain symptom. OK, let’s check in with Louise Hay:

“Lower Back – Fear of money. Lack of financial support.

Middle Back – Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. ‘Get off my back,’

Upper Back – Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love.”

The pain is mostly in my middle and lower back. Spot on as usual! Gonna have to think about, “fear of money” though. In what way am I afraid of money? How do I work through that?

Remember that you choose what comes into your life experience, and you also choose how you will respond to what comes into your life experience. Resistance AKA Denial will give power to a thing, causing conflict between it and you and creating undesirable energetic causes resulting in undesirable physical symptoms. Acceptance AKA Allowance will give power to you, causing no conflict between it and you and creating desirable energetic causes resulting in desirable physical symptoms.

If something has come into your experience you no longer want to be there, the first step is to accept it as it is, allowing it to be as it is. Stop resisting it. The next step is to bless it in order to release any negativity wound tightly around it. You have to release it and let it go – all of your negativity – your anger, bitterness, hatred, etc. You may need to forgive someone or something. Once you have managed this, you have to see it differently. Up until now you saw it as something bad. You have to find some way to bless it. Did it teach you something? Is it a part of a larger thing for which you can show appreciation and be thankful?

If you are unable to really get behind the appreciation, blessing and gratitude, just say the words. Repeat them every time you think about this thing or encounter it or are reminded of it. Repeat it until it becomes true. Always allow yourself to feel what you feel – do not repress or resist your feelings! Flow not force. In time, through gentle reinforcement, you may find that you can appreciate, bless or show gratitude towards this thing, either indirectly or directly.

It will be interesting to see how I can apply these things in the next few days and what the results will be.

Nothing but Truth

Excerpt from Ramtha, The White Book, Chapter 12:

“Student: I feel like I’ve spent my whole life going from one religion to another and, more recently, from one teacher to another trying to understand what life and God are all about. I’m really confused, Ramtha, because everyone has something different to say. Even though many things are the same, they all teach different things, and some of them are even completely the opposite of the other.

For instance, you say that there is no right or wrong and that God loves us whatever we do. In a way, what you teach makes sense to me, but it’s very different than what others teach. And some of what you teach seems a little far-out in a sense because it’s so different than what I have been taught my whole life.

I’m confused, Ramtha. I don’t know who to believe. How do I determine what is really true, what the truth is?

Ramtha: First, master, what mean you by the term far-out?

Student: Well, what I mean is, one has to stretch his thoughts to understand or accept some of the things you say.

Ramtha: Would you say that infinity and forever are far-out?

Student: Well, yes, in a way.

Ramtha: Then my teachings are indeed far- out, for that is how far they will take you, all the way to the perimeters of forever.

Now tell me, master, what is not true?

Student: Well, for example, imagination, fantasy, things that don’t correspond with reality.

Ramtha: Indeed? What are imagination and fantasy?

Student: Thoughts you entertain in your mind; things you make up in your thoughts.

Ramtha: And when you are entertaining these thoughts, are they not real? Are they not a reality in your consciousness? Are they not a truth in thought?

Student: Yes, but they may be true only in my mind. They don’t necessarily correspond with the truth about how things really are in reality.

Ramtha: You know, master, everyone wishes to know what the truth is. But if there is the truth, what is everything other than that when it also has a reality in consciousness?

Do you know what the truth is? That there is none. There being none means that everything is.

Everything is true, master. There is nothing untrue, for all things are derived from thought, which is God. And God is not one formulated thought; he is the reality of all thoughts.

Everything is real, for everything has been given credence through thought and has purpose in being .

What you term imagination and fantasy are certainly real, for they are constituted of purposeful thought.

Student: Even though they don’t correspond with the real world that is out there?

Ramtha: The world out there, which you call real, master, is only the illusion and creation of the greatest reality of all, which is the unseen reality called thought and emotion. How do you think all of your world out there came into being? It was created by imagination and fantasy. And once it became a reality in its material form, it then spurred further imagination and fantasy, for each begets the other and both are indeed real.

Everything created in thought, everything that exists in consciousness – whether or not it is ever manifested into the form called material reality – is true, master.

Student: No matter how bizarre it is?

Ramtha: Indeed, entity, for only attitudes determine bizarreness. Every thought entertained in your mind is true, for it is alive in consciousness; thus it is a part of the greatest reality, termed the mind of God, the platform from which all life springs forth.

Now let us see, master, if we can help you out a bit with your confusion. God the Father is thought, the truth of all thought. And the splendid thing about God is that he is indeed lawless, for if the Father had laws, he would be limited. But since the Father is unlimited, he allows options to his unlimited truth, unlimited thought. The Father has given each of you the will to accept and create from thought whatever truth adds to your own individuality, to perceive truth according to your desire and your unique progression into wisdom. And whatever truth you create in thought, the Father, life, will become so you may experience and understand that truth, that dimension of thought called God.

Truth is only what an individual perceives truth to be. Truth is an opinion, an attitude, a belief about something that has become an absolute in creative thought. Yet everyone’s opinion about anyone thing will differ, often vastly, for each has formulated that opinion based on his unique experiences and the understanding or misunderstanding that he has gained in his soul, not only from this life but from all lives lived before this one. So one entity will believe something to be true and another may not. The two cannot comprehend one another because they have not been one another and had the same collective experiences.

Whose truth is correct? Both are. They are both truthfully right, for each is expressing the truth which his experience and understanding have allowed him to perceive. But if one’s truth is that his truth is the only one that is correct, he is limited in his understanding.

Each entity in this dream – according to his experience and his own need and for the purpose of the fulfillment of self – will accept and create whatever truths he desires to experience for his evolution into wisdom. And for the purpose of that experience, each will seek out sources of truth which support what he wants to believe. Thus for however many Gods that inhabit this plane, there will be that many unique sets of truths, for each entity has the will and the right and the need to create truth differently.

So whatever you read or hear from a teacher is perceived truth: how he sees it, how he has learned it, how he has created it, how he is experiencing it. Thus if you studied under ten teachers, you would certainly be in great confusion, for each one’s truth will be different. And you may certainly find that one or another’s perception of truth will fit whatever you are needing at the moment. But if you are trying to discern which one speaks the truth, when you look at all of them you will realize that all of them do. What you must decide is to what degree you wish to become a particular truth, for whatever truth you accept will become an experienced reality in your life.

There are great teachers on your plane, master, and they are magicians of sorts, for they can do and manifest wondrous and miraculous things. But they still believe in death, and thus they will die. Even though they have progressed greatly in their learning, they have not yet taken their understanding beyond the limitations of death and dying to the understanding that life is really a continuum in being. So if you were to accept their truths as the truth, you too might become a magician, but you will also die. You see?

There is truth in everything, master, but there is also refinement in all things, for each moment refines truth. That is why God is not in a state of perfection but rather a state of becoming. Each entity continually progresses in his understanding to encompass more unlimited truth. And whatever his understanding is, moment to moment to moment, it will be the truth as he sees it, as he knows it.

Let us take a flower, for example. Is it true that the flower is a bud? Indeed. When the flower blooms, is it a liar because it is no longer a bud? No. It is in a state of progressive truth. And is the flower a liar when its petals fall and are no more? What is it then? It is in a further state of its truth.

Any teachings that you hear or read from a source that teaches of laws – or limits man, or divides the Isness into good and evil, or says that God is a singular entity rather than the Isness of all that is – any teachings like that are coming from entities who simply have accepted that to be their truth and are compelled to give it to the world. That is their truth, master, and they are not wrong. But a greater, more refined truth is that anyone who teaches that life is in any way limited has not progressed in his understanding as greatly as others have. For is God limited? If he were, master, life would not be ongoing and you would not even have the option to be confused.

What I teach is indeed a wondrous truth, for who dares to call God lawless, for then he cannot be used to control and enslave others. But the Father, the supreme consciousness, is indeed without the limitation of laws and judgments and endings. When you progress in your truth to embrace that unlimited understanding, then you will experience and truly understand the love and joy and ongoingness that the Father is.

Everyone knows, master, only to the extent that they desire and allow themselves to know. And most knowledge on your plane is built upon fear and survival and polarities of understanding. It is built upon judgment and the separation of peoples. It is built upon the understanding that man is a fallen creature who has no divinity. But man is God, master; thus to judge man is to judge God. To limit man is to limit God. To separate man from his divinity is to take divinity away from God.

If what you read or hear from a teacher limits your thought processes, it indeed limits the thought processes of the Father. Listen to what is said and how it is said. If it limits, separates, divides, then it is a limiting truth of an entity who has yet to progress into a more unlimited understanding.

What you inevitably learn from all of these teachers, master, is that you alone are your greatest teacher, for only you know what is the best of all things for you. How can anyone else know when he is busy living his own life and assessing truth from his own point of view? Only you can know what experience is needed in your soul for your own fulfillment. Only you can be the giver of your own truth, for truth is self-ordained and self-established. And that truth will not be found through scientific or intellectual understandings but rather through an emotional understanding, for truth is a feeling, a knowingness; it is not intellectual. To know what the truth is for you is to know what you feel the truth is.

Student: But, Ramtha, how can you feel that something is true if it is not supported by facts, or if it is perhaps contrary to what science has discovered to be true?

Ramtha: Master, nothing can be proven by what you term facts, for facts will change as the understanding of mankind evolves and changes. Everything is conjecture, for reality is continually evolved and created through thought and emotion. Facts are only the current material manifestations of collective consciousness, collective thoughts that have been embraced into emotion by the whole of mankind.

The proof, master, is in the feeling, in emotion, for that is what gave reality to the fact in the first place.

What is the greatest reality, the greatest truth? Not facts, master. It is the feelings you have by accepting facts as reality, as truths in thought. That is the true fact. It is emotion that is the greatest reality. That is where all truth lies.

Whatever you choose to believe, master, so it will be. So now you choose what is proper for you, what you wish to believe.

Student: But, Ramtha, I don’t understand how that could be. For example, in times when most people believed the Earth was flat, if half of the sailors on a boat thought that the Earth was round and half thought that it was flat and they sailed off to sea, what happened to the boat?

Ramtha: Those who thought it was flat, master, flung themselves overboard. Heaven forbid they should be proven wrong. The ones who thought it was round continued the journey. You see?

Those who believed firmly that the world was flat never ventured to the edge to find out differently, for they were sure it was flat. Those who believed it was round sailed around and around and around. And they were convinced that it was round. But they did not know that it is not round. It is rather squashed. It is bursting at its seams, flat- headed and flat-bottomed, and it is hollow. But those who firmly believe it is solid will never know otherwise, for they will never contemplate going inward to find out differently. That is because they are of a limited understanding, which nonetheless is still true.

Be unlimited in your truth, master. Know that your world is round. But if you wish to be even more unlimited in your truth, know that it is flattened on its top and bottom. And to be even more unlimited, know that it is hollowed. And to be even more unlimited than that, entity, know that the center of your Earth is very much inhabited. But try to tell your scientists that.

If what you believe is of a limited form, then that is your truth, and you are correct and precise. If you believe in an unlimited form, then that is your truth, correct and precise. But if you are searching for something to believe in, don’t believe in either. Believe in you. There is no entity, no thing, no reality that is greater than you are, for you are the giver of all truth, the creator of all realities, the dispenser of all laws within your kingdom.

Now what I would tell anyone entity is this: Go and learn from your teachers or your religions until you are bored or it makes no more sense. Then seek the answer that feels right within your soul. Your soul knows what the truth is, and it will tell you through feelings. When the truth feels right, that is your soul rejoicing, because the grandest truth is unlimited freedom, whatever allows you to experience any truth you desire.

Truth is a limitation, master. To say that anything is true indicates there is untruth. But in a greater understanding there is neither truth nor untruth; there is only the Isness of ongoing, evolving life. Life is the only reality and from that all truth emerges, for truth is evolved and created every moment by every thought you have. Thus in any moment you can change your mind and think something else, and yet they are both true. They are both real principles, for both are options for emotional understanding.

There is no reality but life and options. When you understand that everything is true and nothing is – that there is only Isness – then you can perceive truth to be whatever you determine it to be, and it will be absolute as long as you recognize it as such. The moment you don’t recognize and give credence to that truth, it is no longer real. That is why this plane is the plane of creative realities.

Whatever truth you create in your life, know that you also can change. What allows you to become sovereign is to know that you can do and become anything you want and that you have the ability to change your mind anytime you want.

How long does it take you to become happy? Only long enough for you to think joy, and you will begin to beam . How long does it take you to become despairing? As long as it takes you to think despair, and you will become it. What is the underlying truth in this? That you have the option to become either anytime you desire, and that you can change your expression anytime you desire. That is the freedom the Father loves you with. When you know that truth within your being, you will exceed your limitedness into your godhood. And when others have permitted themselves to be governed with laws and morals and ideals, you will be a free entity, for you will belong to no truth but your own.

Only remember this: Whatever you think to be, is. Anytime you believe in anything, it becomes truth in an emotional reality within your being. That is why everyone is always on the pinnacle of truth, no matter what that point of view is. Your creative reality will always be different from everyone else’s. And when others utterly fail to see your reality, it is only because they are so immersed in the illusions of their own.

When you understand that truth is and can be all things, then you have not limited yourself from experiencing all things. Then you can readily participate in all experiences and have knowledge of them. Then you are free, for you are no longer enslaved to concepts or intellectual understandings that say this is how it is, when how it is, is truly everything that can be defined in thought.

This truth I give you, master, provides a greater unlimitedness in being, for in its virtue and context it embraces everyone else’s truth and allows all truths to coexist in harmony. When you embrace this understanding, then you can say to yourself, “Of the truth that I express, I am multifaceted in my truth. I am not one truth but all truth.” Then you are no longer inhibited in your creative flow or cloistered into one form of living and being.

Be who you are, not under the direction of Ramtha or Buddha or Yeshua or any other teacher, for none can teach you of your God self; they can teach you only of theirs. To fulfill your destiny, you must become who and what you uniquely are. If you try to live according to another’s life plan, you will never become that. The only way you will come to understand who you are and this fire that lives within you is through the truth of your own emotional understanding.

Love what you are intently and listen to the God within you, which speaks a very subtle tone. It is called feelings. The feelings, if you listen to them, will tell you of truth and your path for enlightenment.

Live the truth you feel inside you. Live it and manifest it so that it attests to the glory of you. When you do, then you will have assessed, lived, and understood life from your point of view. And however you perceive it, it will all be right. Be your own teacher, your own savior, your own master, your own God.

When you contemplate the simplicity of this, it will release you into the freedom to understand. Then you will not get caught up in trying to determine what is true and what is not, what is real and what is illusion. When you begin to remove yourself from the laws of religious dogma and belief and cease striving to be another’s truth, then you are free to express yourself and experience the things that your soul calls you to do, so you can be fulfilled in whatever knowledge and understanding you are lacking. Then through experience and emotion you at your own individualized pace become God, moment by moment by moment. And where shall your eternity end? Nowhere, for you are ongoing into forever.

When you learn that each moment you live, you are refining your own opinionated self – and when you allow yourself to do that without guilt and judgment of self – then one day you become the truth of all thought, the platform from which all life springs forth. But you cannot become that until you remove yourself from the collective consciousness of man – with its laws, ideals, and mass identity – and allow yourself to be the Isness of your own truth, of your own purposeful self.

For a long time man has separated himself from his divinity by taking away all of his options and creating laws in place of them. But the winds of change are upon this plane to bring about a newness, a reckoning in everyone, an unsettling of what has been considered absolute. I am pleased you have come to be a part of it, for your life will be much more joyous from this day forth. For who are you to answer to? No one but yourself. And what is the truth? Whatever self decrees it to be, for whatever you believe, so it is; and whatever you believe, so you will become. Know that, and you will teach many just by the way you live.

Never seek truth. Simply be. In being, you are at one with infinite universes.

Student: There’s much for me to contemplate.

Ramtha: Indeed, master. Isness. So be it.”

The Circle 29 – God’s Will Is Your Will

God’s Will Is Your Will

In this episode of The Circle I share something that blew my mind, that God’s Will is actually Your Will, that they are one and the same.

The materials I am drawing from are Claim Your Power by Mastin Kipp:

Also Ramtha, The White Book by JZ Knight:

Song of the Unicorn

Today I reclaim my horn
and proclaim myself
to be a Unicorn!

Whatever the truth may be,
be I Unicorn or Donkey,
I will be me!

I will be free and I will make
my life as enjoyable
as it can be!

No more hiding in Donkey’s clothes
I will polish my horn
until it glows!

I no longer care what others say
I will never again hide
my horn away!

I now embrace my horn,
and live my life
as a Unicorn!


Dedicated to Mia Michaels, author of A Unicorn In A World of Donkeys:


Darkness Is A Choice

We are speaking of a denial of Light
not an absence of Light
The concept of God being in all things therefore
is not so irreconcilable.

From “Emmanuel’s Book” page 18, “Darkness is a choice.”
Compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton

I think there is something we forget. Some of us, myself also in the past, talk about how evil the world is. How dark it is. How cruel it is. The phrase “The Real World” is bandied about, as if those of us who use it have any idea of what the real world actually is. But most of us that think of the world in this way, that use this phrase, have no idea how or what the real world is.

We say these things, we use this phrase and others like it, to basically set a sort of bar. We say these things to those that have not reached it. The bar is set to what we think is normal. It is defined by what we perceive to be reality. And indeed, to those who think along these terms, it is their reality.

Our reality is created by our perception. What we expect to see in the world, 9 times out of 10, that is what we see. What we expect to experience, we experience. So the phrase, “The Real World” seems to be true, and those of us who use it, say it with finality. That is our final word on it.

I see a few problems with this… First of all saying anything with finality is essentially closing the door in the face of anything that contradicts what we believe. That is the definition of close-mindedness. We become unable to see anything beyond or outside our beliefs and perceptions. We close ourselves off to ever really learning the real truth. We shut the door in the face of truth, lock it and leave him to stand outside our hearts. When Jesus said, “I stand at the door and knock” I wonder if this is what he was referring to.

Secondly we all have made (myself included), and most of us continue to make (myself excluded) an assumption that darkness = absence of Light. But Emmanuel’s words, as quoted above, remind us that this is not the only way darkness can come into our lives. Quite often, and I may even venture to say all of the time, darkness = denial of Light. In fact I will even go so far as to say this is the only real true definition of darkness. I do not think, for one moment, that there is an absence of light anywhere, even in the darkest corners of what you call the real world.

Darkness is a choice. Suffering is a choice. We are never powerless, we can always choose. We can accept or deny the Light. What is the Light? Let us define the undefinable in this way. It is that energy or force beyond the best humanity can offer. It is beyond the love of a mother for her child, the love of a man or woman for a man or woman. It is beyond the best of human lovingkindness. It is that which humanity has been looking for outside itself, but which has always been inside us all. It is what we are, when we leave our human bodies behind. It is that energy or force that gives life to everything, freely. You can give it any name you wish, for now Light will suffice.

The question is will you accept or deny that you have this energy inside you? Will you accept or deny that others have it inside them? Will you accept or deny that it is in your world, the world you live in, the world you believe in, the world you perceive? Can you find and open yourself to the Light that is in all things, even the darkest places you can think of right now? Can you find the Light in the drug dealer, the gang member, the murderer? It doesn’t matter who the darkness is for you, or where it is. The question remains, will this darkness continue to be a denial of Light? Will you continue to deny the Light?

Most humans live in a state of denial or non-acceptance. We isolate ourselves from each other. We isolate ourselves in shimmering towers of glass and steel, in layers of asphalt and concrete, from mother nature, from the earth. We are disconnected from each other and from the planet we live on. In our current, natural state the pattern of denying the Light is firmly ingrained into all of us.

It was for me as well. It is no longer. I choose to live connected to others and the world around me. I still have much growing to do. I still tend towards isolation, towards denial. The circumstances of my life must reflect this, as they do. But I am changing, I have made that choice, and you can as well.

If you want all the things that you think of as part of “The Real World” to go away, to change for the better, then you have to choose acceptance. You have to stop denying the Light. You have to stop isolating yourself. You have to be able to find the Light in anyone or anything. When humanity reaches this state in our growth as a species, and we will, there will be no more scarcity, no more war. There will no longer be any darkness, because we will, collectively, have stopped denying the Light.

So what is the darkness in your life? Is it your denial of Light? Or is it an absence of Light? Because if, for you, it is an absence of Light, you are living in denial, and will remain a victim of unwanted circumstances and situations. That is the consequence of your choice.

But if you are able to see it is your denial of Light that has brought this darkness, then you are free to choose to stop denying the light. When you stop denying the light, you will be free of unwanted circumstances and situations. That will be the consequence of your choice.

Choose wisely.