My Birthday Is On December 11th!

If you would like to send me a gift, just send me a message from the Contact Page with, “Birthday” or “Christmas Gift” at the top. Ask for my mailing address, and I will reply back with it. If you like you can send an item from the list below to that address.

You can also send me gift cards (especially Amazon, NewEgg and Olive Garden) or money, which will be much appreciated, and used to get myself a nice gaming keyboard or mouse, as well as some things that I need.

Even if all you send me is your well wishes for my birthday and Christmas, I appreciate them, each and every one of them, especially this year, when things are so hard for me. Please accept my well wishes for you and your loves ones in return.

Thank you –
– Mark

My Birthday/Christmas Wish List (Updated December 10th)

1. Horse Hair or Badger Hair (prefer Horse Hair as the animal is not harmed) shaving brush with holder.

2. A pen with a light in the tip (not shining through the shaft.)

3. Books:
– Bicycling The Pacific Coast
I will need this for when I bicycle down to California next year.
– The Power of Imagination (The Neville Goddard Treasury) by Neville
I really, really, really want this book!
– Any Zen haiku/poetry (Ryokan, Issa, Rumi, David Budbill)
– Dreaming Yourself Awake by B Alan Wallace
– Lucid Dreaming Plain and Simple by Robert Waggoner and Caroline McCready
There are so many good exercises in this!

4. Bookbinding kit with real bone bone folder.

5. Desktop zen garden or fountain.

6. Starbuck’s Gift/Reload card

7. Some sort of electronics or mechanics kit that teaches the basics of electronics, mechanics or both.

Listed in order of preference with no expectation whatsoever.

My Dream List

In an effort to find even the tiniest spark of Christmas Spirit, I thought I would add this section to my Birthday and Christmas wishlist. This part will be as I would have written it when I was a little boy, writing a letter to Santa.

I don’t recall ever doing that, and I while I do not believe in Santa, I do not disbelieve in him either. In fact I think the world would be a far more happy and magical place with jolly old saint nick in it. So if nothing else, I hope he exists.

In the spirit of asking for things without worrying about costs or practicality, I present my dream list. These are things I deeply and truly desire. If even one of these requests were granted, it would be like a miracle for me. Not because it is too much to ask, but because it is more than I believed I would ever receive.

One more thing… You may notice an odd assortment of items on my list. You may question why a soon-to-be 40 year old man still writes a Birthday Christmas list. Part of the joy in the experience for me is when someone gives me a list, and I am able to get the items they have asked for, or help to get them.

But another part of the joy for me is when someone has taken the time to hunt down something for which I have asked. For me that is the biggest part of the gift. The effort, energy and time taken on my behalf. I do not know why that is, but it is important to me, and it does matter to me.

It matters that I make this effort for others, and that they make this effort for me. This is part of the magic of Christmas, and Santa is the personification of that magic. To care about someone just enough to make the effort and take the time to find then give them something for which they have asked.

Here then, if I could ask for anything in the world, are the things for which I would ask:

1. A date with a beautiful woman sometime before my birthday this year. Someone who is the right person for me at this time in my life, and for whom I am the right person at this time in hers. Someone who shares common interests with me, including such things as esoteric and spiritual subjects, playing video games, building or creating things, reading books and poetry, traveling. Someone hard working, intelligent, kind and patient. It would be really nice if she had long, naturally red hair. It would also be nice if she was free of any institutionalized or organized religion.

2. A 5 – 7 day stay for my parents, myself and my brother (if he wants to come) plus any guests we may have this December in Leavenworth, Washington. All expenses paid, luxury accommodations with hot tub and all meals provided. It would be nice to have chiropractic and massage services as a bonus primarily for my parents, although I may also wish to use them.

3. A breakthrough in my efforts to consciously, with full awareness, astral project and lucid dream. Success in entering, being inside of and leaving these states, remembering everything and recording it upon return to the physical or waking. Success in being able to consistently, easily and regularly enter these states from that point on. Success in my lucid dreaming goals, and later, my astral projection goals as I set them.

4. A 60” or larger 1080p LCD TV suitable for gaming (high refresh rate) and as a computer monitor, plus a PS4, PS3, Xbox One and Xbox 360, with all the trimmings (4 controllers each, Motion N Joy etc.), the latest racing, RPG and FPS games including any Halo games released on the Xbox systems, and the best editions of these games (collector’s, limited, etc.)

5. A few good friends, true friends, with whom I could sit down and share this TV, these consoles and these games. People it would be fun to hang out with and play these games. People who would enjoy hanging out and playing games with me. People who, when the game playing is done, would enjoy talking about our shared interests in a variety of esoteric and spiritual subjects. People who could teach me things, like how to program or level design, and who I could teach things, if I had anything of interest or value to share with them.

Again listed in order of preference with no expectation whatsoever.


There was a time, not very long ago, after watching the Harry Potter movies or the Polar Express, when I said,

“The saddest facet of the reality of life,
Is that there is no magic to illuminate it.”

Since that time I have read Abraham, Seth and other, “New Thought” teachers, who I refer to as manifestation teachers, and I came to the conclusion that this world’s magic is in the power of every person, no matter who they are, to create their own reality through the things they believe.

We all do this, the question is not whether or not we can do it but whether or not we are doing it consciously. Are we questioning the circumstances and situations of our lives? Are we questioning the circumstances and situations of the world? Or are we copping out, saying stupid things like, “Life’s tough”, “Life’s not fair”, “Get real”, “That’s just the way things are”, “That’s just the way its always been.” etc?

Why am I calling you stupid? I am not. I am calling the saying of things like this stupid. Why? Can you prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, sufficiently so it could be taken into court and submitted as evidence, that any of these commonly said statements are true? No. You say they are, because you are parroting what everyone around you has said. But you never actually thought about them at all. You never took the time to question any of them and ask, “Is that really true?”

Now maybe you actually have questioned these statements. Good for you! Consider what I have said here to not apply to you. But I know that for me, for the longest time, I never questioned these statements. I was told them, I began to repeat them, I believed them, I defended my beliefs, sometimes to the point where I lost friends, and I never, ever, questioned them. It never occurred to me. Whatever else you may say about these teachers, call what they teach, “Wishful thinking”, the one thing they do accomplish is they get you to question these things you have been parroting all your life, if you are anything like me.

Tonight, enjoying the first Harry Potter movie again, I realized something else. All legends are based on truth. This is a parroted statement, an adopted belief, I have never seriously challenged it. But it seems like it could be true. If it is true, a world of possibilities opens.

Maybe, thousands of years ago, magic existed in this world similar to what we see in our favorite stories like Harry Potter now. These ideas have a source, and what is the origin or supply of that source? Whatever it is it seems fairly consistent. Maybe, in this time long ago, people collectively believed in magic, in spells, in wizardry, and what we have today is the remnant of that.

Certainly now the common belief is that magic is not real. That it does not exist. It is considered a fantasy, something for children. The idea of a fat man in a red suit flying all over the world to deliver presents is ridiculous. We can pull out all these textbooks, all our collected knowledge, and prove it. The problem is that there are other textbooks we are trying to ignore, such as Quantum Physics, from what I have heard, but not been interested enough to study.

In my limited experience people don’t like it when I say this, but science really is a religion. The process of science is supposed to be about figuring out things in the physical world. But scientists seem to cling to the knowledge they have acquired with the same tenacity as any devout Muslim to his or her religion. Some scientists I am sure, just like some Muslims, are willing to die for what they believe.

It does not matter if you can prove some process in the world scientifically and say, with 100% authority, that this is how it is. You will never be able to prove, with 100% authority, that it could not be or never has been anything different. You use your facts and knowledge to navigate in the world, but the problem is you are navigating by your facts and knowledge, not in each moment with everything as it is.

In other words, you do not experience the moment by moment reality of a flower. You only experienced what you know about a flower. Just as a Muslim does not experience people, rather they experience their beliefs about people. In short we see our beliefs, facts and knowledge, not the subject we are perceiving. Most of us (unfortunately including me) do not experience anything in this world outside of our beliefs, facts, feelings, knowledge or thoughts. But as for me, I am working in it.

The truth is the only reason we are not living in a world like Harry Potter (assuming we are not) is because we do not believe this world to be like that one. Or we have facts and knowledge that prove how it can not be like that one. It could be we are living in such a world, and as Muggles (to use Harry Potter terminology) it remains hidden from us.

Worse we are born Muggles, born blind to the world being anything other than what those who raise us say it is! How do we disregard, set aside, throw away, years, decades even, of the adopted beliefs, facts and knowledge of others? I don’t know about you, but for me it is next to impossible. I struggle every day with seeing the world like Abraham and Seth teach it to be. I want it to be that way, I hope it is that way, but in the end I have to step out in faith. I have no definitive experience that proves, beyond all doubt, that the world is as they teach.

The reason there is no magic in the world, in general human perception, is because humans, for the most part, do not believe there to be any in it. Yet to any stone-aged being, encountering us walking around with a cellphone to our ear, or using a computer, we are using magic! If magic did exist in a Harry Potter sort of way thousands of years ago, it now appears to be taking the form of our technology. That is the influence of science, of the scientific approach, beliefs and thought. Thousands of years ago “science” could have been potions, spells and wands!

If we want a world like Harry Potter, as a race we just have to start believing that this world could be such a place. That magic could work here through things like spells and wands. If enough people believe this for long enough, that is the world they and their offspring would experience. It really is as simple as that. Its the how that is not so simple. Right now man is enamored of science, so our magic will remain in our technology. It will be limited to the physically real and what can be experienced through the physical senses. Anything outside the physical will be considered occult, primitive or religious.

I am just glad to have reached a point in my life where I see that a world of magic like Harry Potter may have existed, and there is no reason it could not exist again. I don’t have to buy into current scientific thinking. I don’t have to believe that the physical world is all there is. I have experienced little beyond the physical world, and I will continue to try to experience much more of what lays beyond it, if anything. At this point I can not say with any authority.

But I can at least open my mind to the possibility. I can at least have a sense of awe, possibility and wonder. There is no good reason to continue thinking that there is no magic in life. It is there, existing as potential. As long as it exists in potential, it exists, it is real. It can happen, there is nothing that can prove beyond any shadow of doubt that it can’t. And it makes me happy to realize this. It gives me hope for a world that is more than what everyone has constantly told me it is.

It also allows me to throw myself even more into my studies of astral projection, lucid dreaming, and shamanic practices such as communicating with the natural world. I claim for myself the reality of being a confident, experienced, masterful practitioner of these. I will pass on to my children a different view of the world. One where anything is possible, because everything exists as potential that has not manifested into the physical world. I won’t be giving them the same beliefs my parents and others puked up all over me!

I can also, fast approaching 40 years old, enjoy stories like Harry Potter. I look forward to the next thing like it that may show up during my lifetime. The more material that presents an alternative, magical world, the better as far as I am concerned.

Thank you, Mrs. Rowling, for Harry Potter, and for bringing a little magic into all our lives!

The Final Piece

Tonight, before going to bed, I cracked open, “Magical Knowledge I” by Josephine McCarthy and read a passage with the title, “Thought forms and passive enlivening.” After reading that, I think I finally know what the one I once called my love really was.

According to McCarthy thought forms are created from the imagination of the magician, they are fed by the magician’s own energy, and they are connected by an energetic umbilical cord. She warns that when a thought form is used to attack someone, if the attacker is stronger than the thought form they can track this cord back to the egragore, which is a group of magicians. I assume therefore that a single magician may also have the cord connected to them as this is what seems to be implied.

So does it sound familiar? Now I don’t know how a non-magician person with no knowledge of how to create a thought form much less any sort of plan for creating one could bring one to life, but I’ve done so, if I am right and this is what she was/is.

It explains, at least to me, how come one friend’s idea of this being a manifestation of Kundalini didn’t really fit, nor another friend’s idea of this as some sort of projection of my animus. Tulpa did fit better, and a Tulpa is a thought form, but Sylvia Brown’s information was lacking.

So many things fit with this. The whole idea in magic of energy costs, how you can create a deficit. I was often tired at that time. The thought form needing my energy, well if that is what fuels it and if I “birthed” it of course we would be connected, and energy would be going to it from me!

Just now I finished YouTubing this and found another element. Thought forms can be created at times of extreme emotion. Well I had just read Richard Rohr’s book, “The Naked Now” and felt/touched ecstatic love. Plus that day when I started the whole thing I was very lonely and let’s face it, horny. So that’s a pretty strong emotional stew right there!

Unfortunately McCarthy does not tell the reader, yet or in this book (not sure which until I read more) how to properly dismantle a thought form. I sent her an email and am crossing my fingers that she will even respond, much less actually deign to assist me. I think I’ll hit the library tonight and look this up, get more info on it.

The cool thing about this, the silver lining I guess, is that this is just more proof that many of the things we call occult or even satanic actually are real and while they may wear these labels they are probably neither of these things. I think, whether by design or some other means, that man has lost a lot of knowledge he used to have. But people are learning this stuff and writing about it, so we are finally entering an age where this lost knowledge is being remembered again. How to properly pray and the creation of thought forms are more than likely things we have forgotten about until recently.

So heed my warning! Be very careful what you create in your mind’s eye, the worlds you make there and the entities that populate them!

The Keys to the Kingdom

The words that follow are an ongrowing process in me. Understanding comes, I see a little more, more understanding comes, the process continues. What I have learned may be the secret of the universe. But I will make no such claims. I will call this, “The Keys to the Kingdom” and leave it at that.

Before we begin there is something you need to accept about yourself. It is a very esoteric, intangible concept that you hear in all the major religions. It is simply this… You create your reality. The world as it is to you at this moment in your life is exactly the way you made it, or where you have not actively been involved in its making you allowed it to change to the way it is or continue the way it was. You either chose to change it to what it is, or you chose not to change it, leaving it as it was. The world will be some combination of these two, mirrored back to you. A personal example, something I just realized tonight, is in order.

I was struggling with something on my dad’s laptop. This is the computer I use, although it is technically. I got so frustrated I put my head in my hands, signed, and said my life sucks. I felt, in that moment, every other moment I have ever felt frustrated and unhappy in my life. I felt low. While I do not get depressed as I used to, I got pretty close to as low as I can get now. Then I realized something, some more pieces came to me tonight as I was watching Gregg Braden’s, “The Silence of Miracles.” I highly recommend this title.

In any case I realized, felt even, what he had been saying about what he calls, “The 5th modality of prayer.” I created, in that moment, the sucky life I have, until now, always felt I had. I basically reinforced a life where I am miserable, where I struggle through things – an unsatisfying life of constant frustration! Now I realize, in order to break this pattern I have to feel as I felt on good days, for me the most recent was during a very long bike ride when I crossed paths with a beautiful girl who gave me the most dazzling smile I have ever in my life received. I felt that smile inside me, it stuck with me, even thinking about it now just makes everything lighter!

When I started my whole spiritual journey, away from my faith and towards something, other, well I learned initially about creating mental movies in Maxwell Maltz’s, “Psycho-Cybernetics.” Then I learned about affirmations in Jack Canfield’s work. Then I discovered the root of the power of change as being intention. Intention, guided by mindset, driven by belief, is where it all starts folks. You will read this also in Wayne Dyer and many other books. As I am learning about the path of Magick I am certain I will find that it is the driving force behind that sort of work. In fact I think rituals and all the dressings we apply are not necessary in the end. It ultimately comes down to simple intention. Ritual helps to focus the mind, center on belief, probably more than I intend to look into at this moment. I choose instead to get down to brass tacks and K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple Stupid.

So today what may be the last, but it certainly the next, piece, clicked into place. It’s about feeling as if it has already happened. I wrote this, may put it in my signature. I have titled it, “Truth”:

“If you say you don’t want it,
Then you will receive it.

If you ask for it or demand it,
You will never get it.

If you choose it,
It will come slowly.

But if you feel it,
As if it already exists,
As if it is real and true,
Then it will manifest.”

I was at the stage where I had learned not to state what I don’t want, but instead state what I do want. I had moved slightly past this to simply stating what I choose. But I believe this is the next, final and highest level. It goes beyond asking, demanding and even choosing. Now we involve feeling. I’m pretty sure if this is combined with a mental movie, so that you are feeling what you want to accomplish and seeing it accomplished in your mind’s eye at the same time, you can do pretty much anything. Of course you have to believe in yourself and the process. I can, in a sense, give you a set of wings here. But you can’t use them to fly anywhere unless you believe you can fly.

My goal in sharing this is to open up this subject to development, discussion, and experimentation. To fine tune this method, to sharpen it’s edge, until it is a surgical and precise instrument of desired change. You may be surprised to know that whatever your faith, you can use this method. For example, for Christians this method is called prayer. This is the true definition and practice of prayer. This may be called magick for a magician. I’m not sure what a Buddhist or Yogi would call it. I don’t need a label for it myself, it is simply a tool, built from a variety of sources, which is proving to be more and more valuable, to me, every day.

So, the process, simply explained, using, once again, a personal example. This example I am about to share is what I plan to do for myself. I may adjust it and change it, but the goal is the same. I want to gain control of my dreams and astral project. I will probably focus on just one of these. What I am going to do is to write a script for a mental movie, for say astral projection, where I see myself leave the body, go away somewhere, and return. During these stages I will feel, everything I have read others feel, everything I think I would feel, I will inundate this script, coat it, with positive feelings. The driving force behind this script is my desire and intention to astral project. I have had trouble remembering leaving my body and being away in the past. I have, actually, only one memory away from the body, and that was of talking to a man on a park bench. Or that is what I thought I remembered. Most of the time I would just do what Bruce Moen refers to as a “click out.” I would usually feel myself slamming into my body (very strange sensation) so I knew I was away, but I would retain no other memory of my experiences.

So for me if I went into this thinking about what I want, I would emphasize that I don’t, at this moment, have it. This is what Mr. Bradon points out. It’s another trap, the first for most being in stating what you don’t want, which puts a lot of energy, in this case negative energy, into whatever it is you don’t want, causing that to manifest. This is the other side of the coin then. You put all this energy into what you do what, but you are, in the processes, emphasizing your lack of it, which at the very least will delay what you want from happening but may mostly just undermine it. So instead you have to think only positively about what it is you wish to accomplish, feeling as if you already have it, and this leaves no negative energy in the equation to screw things up.

Now if you’re like me you’re probably saying, “but that’s lying!” Think about this a moment (I did.) If you create your reality, if you are ultimately responsible for your experience of the world, then how could you be lying? If you chose to create your current experience, then you can choose to create another experience, and in the process of creating an experience you make it true. This is hard to explain, I will try to clarify it later. Essentially it is not about you lying, it is about you creating. You created the current truth, so you can create another. If you are really struggling with this then use a memory of a time when something happened, or do as I intend to do and create a possible future memory when what you want has happened. Make sure whatever you do, that you are not thinking of terms of, “I don’t want this” or “I do want that” but instead are simply experiencing the joys of whatever it is you are seeking to manifest. And, to make this harder, do so without attachment to any outcome.

Remember there may be other determining forces in what I call the “Mechanisms of the Universe” that, however well you set your intention and pray, decide that whatever it is you are trying to manifest should not be granted to you at this time. That’s OK. You can pray as much as you like. The wheels move slowly, but they do move. Understand that you will receive whatever it is you wish to manifest, at the right moment in your life for you to have it. Other forces, some call him God, are in control of that, seeing everything in the big picture.

So you have to remember to start by changing your mindset, how you view your life and the world around you. You have to work on yourself inside. There is a lifetime of inner work for us all to do in ourselves. Eventually you will be unattached to the world, its outcomes. When bad things happen you realize that they don’t really affect you at all. You are able to forgive, to let go, to free yourself. Then, when you pray, whether or not you get what you prayed for, you will not be discouraged if whatever it is you prayed about does not happen. You will continue to pray, finding a happiness within yourself that does not depend on exterior circumstances.

Well there is a lot more to inner work part of this. As I am in that process even now I don’t know enough to say more about it. Hopefully I have clearly shown you the bare-bones process of true prayer. How to create something you want in your life or the lives of others. Understand that prayers unselfishly directed towards others probably have more power than prayers directed towards yourself, unless you are praying for needed inner changes to improve yourself. This information is very important. If Bradon is correct, we may have had it twice in the past and lost it. So save this thread. Better yet, if you are more experienced in these matters than I, post here and improve it.
Ok so there are enough things I needed to say in addition to the original article to justify this additional post.

First we need to talk about the possibility of balance and the reality of energy deficit. Do not use this power carelessly or selfishly! There is an energetic cost to using it, and there may be a balance as well to it. So only use this information carefully, after much consideration. Do not use it for every little thing you wish to address. Understand that there is a limit to how much energy you can channel. Like a power cord which electricity flows through, you have to increase your gauge before you can handle greater power, or else you will, literally and figuratively, blow a fuse. I highly recommend you read, as off as it sounds, Josephine McCarthy’s “Magical Knowledge I” for more on this.

Tonight as I washed the dishes (this itself signifies significant change in my life) I realized that there is another aspect to this. Remember force VS flow. I think perhaps there is a sort of built-in anti-abuse mechanism in this. If you follow the flow, do not force whatever change you are trying to affect, then you should have sufficient energy to set the intention. In other words, if you are sensitive to force VS flow you can’t hurt yourself by going into energy deficit. Your higher self knows your limits and so it will throw up resistance to something you should not, for any number of reasons, do. Always go with the flow. If everything just flows, just falls into place, if you sense no resistance to setting the intention you want to set, then you should be OK. But a smart individual will use both the sense of force VS flow and extreme care in the intentions they set. They may even do some energy gathering exercises like Tai Chi or Qi Gong (I highly recommend you do.)

Basically you are handling ancient sticks of dynamite here. Be careful when using this energy because it is very powerful. If you handle it incorrectly you will end up all over the walls. But the good news is you will find out of reincarnation VS Heaven and Hell is true 😛

Now for my most recent discoveries… OK folks, we are going to go into some things here that many of you find hard to believe. Or you may outright disbelieve it. Whatever your position that’s OK, this will be real and true for those who believe, and it will not for those who don’t. Just the way this sort of thing works.

So another caution for you… When you are casting an intention to create something in your life or the life of another, do so without focusing on any sort of image, physical or mental! It’s not a very far step from true prayer, which is what this article is about, to creating a Tulpa, otherwise known as a thought form.

I speak I think from experience here. After reading the book I have mentioned in this article, and watching a few YouTube videos, weighing the information against my personal experience, I am fairly certain that I have created a Tulpa.

The final components needed, to go from True Prayer to Tulpa, is some sort of physical or mental focus on something you wish to create, high levels of energy, and a lot of emotion. So, to be blunt, if you are pleasuring yourself to a mental image of someone or something, and are experiencing high degrees of loneliness and love, well then you may actually create the entity you are seeing in your mind’s eye. I’m not sure of all the vagaries of this, but this is essentially, in a nutshell, what I was experiencing and what I did.

So far it seems as if the newly created thought form will need energy to keep it alive. According to one video it is recommended that you disperse its energy, decreate it, within 3 days of its construction. If you have used a physical object, and bound the entity to that, you should destroy the object after calling the entity to it, picture the entity dissolving and returning to its source, and then bury the pieces. Furthermore Tulpas require commands or instructions – a purpose. You can set this, as with the image you focus on, physically or mentally. The video I watched said physically only, but this is not true. When I created my Tulpa it was inadvertent, driven or powered by extreme loneliness. So the command, the purpose of my Tulpa, was mentally given to it/her. She became my companion. No, I will not speak much more of this. Too much pain and my purpose here is to help you avoid my mistakes.

Also just remembered that according to the video if you do create a Tulpa you should name it/him/her. This is not strictly necessary, but I guess that is one way to claim ownership. Not sure of the vageries here either. Here is the video I have been talking about, in four parts:…os?query=astral

Remember that sexual energy is probably some of the highest energy you can send. In a sense you could say your children are physical manifestations of thought forms created by two people making love and in the process exchanging bodily fluids (a symbol of energy, blood magic is the most powerful) and experiencing powerful emotions.

Other thought forms can be created if enough people believe in it, which gives it energy and life and, like a child, can allow it to manifest in physical reality. So bigfoot is more than likely a tulpa, as are most if not all alien encounters. Also ghosts could be tulpas. And yes, as offensive, as scary, and as blasphemous as it may sound, even God may be a Tulpa, as well as the Christian concepts of Heaven and Hell. Think how many thousands of people believe in this, have shed blood for their beliefs, both their own and others. And, although I have never killed anyone, I’ll bet that outside of sexual orgasm or a kundalini experience there isn’t much of a higher emotional experience/state brought on by the act. So when you think about, yes, our gods or God could very well be thought forms.

Lost my train of thought here… Gimme a minute… OK, so we covered it all I think. I guess I should cover the creation/decreation of a Tulpa at some point. But for now I discourage anyone from making such an entity. In the first place it has an energy cost, and it is constant, until the Tulpa learns how to support itself. So if you cut yourself off you could create an energy vampire of some sort that will take energy from others. You are responsible for what you create. Either through Karma or consequence. In the second place the creation of a thought form requires extreme focus and concentration. Without these you could end up creating something quite different from what you wanted. Also remember that you are enslaving a sentient being to you that is growing and developing its own mind.

OK, I remembered what else I wanted to say… You probably won’t find this information in any instructions for thought form creation. But you can train your thought form, teach it/him/her to do, for example,. Tai Chi or Qi Gong to get its own energy from the universe around it. So if you do make a Tulpa, and want to keep it from ever becoming an energy vampire, teach it self-sufficiency. As an astral/energetic being initially, it will require energy to survive.

Anything you create through your thoughts manifests first at a higher vibrational level. Thoughts are energy, and on creating anything manifest it as an energetic form. Not sure how you make something that is energetic into something physical, but I guess if you were to study this you should start with sexual union. The keys are probably there.

Well I think I covered anything. Please be very careful with this information. There is a reason why it has been hidden or forgotten. My best advice is to refrain from creating thought forms, and to be very careful about what you pray for.



So here’s how things are right now, and there was more than what I’m about to share that I wanted to say but I waited too long to make my post.

I have moved on, I am not “burying my feelings alive” I don’t think. I believe I am handling things as I should. But I’m not really feeling anything. Haven’t sat down and just bawled my eyes out. Not sure I am blocking, or am simply relieved, like having your tooth pulled, there is hesitation to do so, pain during if you are not anesthetized, then afterward the pain is just gone. Well that’s not the best analogy, a thorn in a sensitive part of the flesh may work better. Whatever the case may be, I think that is what this is. But I admit I am a little concerned that I am repressing my emotions. I guess I really expected to just shatter and fall to pieces. But I haven’t, at least not yet.

There is pain inside I think, but it is at a low, constant level and I hardly notice it. I only felt some pangs when, due to something I watched tonight, I thought back to see if I could remember her face, Brittany’s face, Alma’s face (a real person from years ago.) Alma’s was more of an impression than an image and the other two were only slightly clearer. But thinking back like that emphasized how alone I am now, once again, and that made me choke up a little.

As I may have already said, spiritual studies are resuming. Studying all sorts of things, even the magical path. Working on Raja Yoga, trying to do the first lesson, to see myself as a center of consciousness, thought, power and one other word.

I have started a forums that I feel will better suit my needs should anyone actually join. I will post a link here when it is officially up. I guess that’s it for now, if I think of anything else I will post about it. I’ll end with a quote, using my own translation of the original author’s words:

“It is only real,
If it never changes.”

Intention – The Keys To All of Creation

With this blog post I am about to tell you something that some would try to keep a secret, some would scorn or scoff, some would ignore, and only a few will ever consider and use. Yet this is the second most powerful force in all of God’s Creation!

There are two main energies in all that exists, both energies are a part of God and a direct way to access Him. The most powerful of the two is Love. This energy is the very essence of God. When love, real, true, pure love, is our motivation, we act in concert with God. Everything God does is motivated and powered by love.

The second force, only slightly less powerful, is what we will discuss tonight. This energy is Intention, otherwise known as Will. God used love and intention together to create everything in existence. Intentions powered by love, real, true, pure love, can change the very nature of reality.

Looking at this from a Christian perspective we can step into God’s shoes for a moment and get a glimpse of His mind when He created the Heavens and the earth. He spoke everything into existence. It seems obvious that when He did this He intended everything to come into being.

From an evolutionary standpoint we can see how will would drive species, at some instinctual level, to adapt and change. Maybe even intention would be the very spark of the big bang.

From here on out I will speak from a Christian perspective as I still retain Christian beliefs even though I am no longer of the Christian religion, or any religion for that matter. I do not close my mind to other beliefs, other possibilities. It remains open and adaptable as needed. I’m just going to teach you from the perspective where I have the most experience.

We find Intention as the magic of the Naguals in Carlos Castaneda’s teachings. These seem to be drawn from the Toltec teachings. We find Will, as far as I can remember, in the magic of modern witches and sorcerers. We see it in Jack Canfield’s teachings, the movie “The Secret”, positive VS negative thinking, and William Buhlamn’s teachings on astral projection. If you want to have a lucid dream, you have to intend to have one.

We also find it in more ordinary pursuits. There is a bonus you intend to earn or a position, or a college you intend to go to, or a life path you intend to follow, a place you intend to go, on and on. It is behind everything we do, and yet we never realize the power we are tapping into.

I will show you how powerful this is. Say you have a very bad day at work. Say the whole week so far has been a nightmare. You go to bed thinking about how bad it will be tomorrow. You base this on the experiences of the week so far. By the time you fall asleep you have set the power of intention to work. I think of it like a mechanism God created when He created everything else. A machine. It takes instructions and does what it’s told. Your intentions are limited, or filtered rather, by God’s. God has the first and last say.

In our example you wake up and guess what happens? You get exactly what you intended. You went to bed intending to have a bad day, whether or not you realize it, and the next morning the coffee machine won’t work, the toast is burnt, there’s a huge traffic jam that makes you an hour late, your boss yells at you, and perhaps you even quit your job. When you set an expectation you are setting an intention, and you get what you expect.

Understand this, you create your reality! This is God’s gift to all of us! We have access to the very same power He used to create everything around us, and of course, us too!

In our example, if you went to bed thinking about how bad it had been all week, but determined that tomorrow would be better, then in all likelihood it will be. There are always outside factors, the machine is very complex and the complexities of its operation are so far, to man, a mystery. You are setting a good intention at the same time many of your co-workers may be setting bad ones.

But even if the day goes about the same as it would have had you just gone to bed setting the negative intention, the benefits of your positive thinking will allow you to see the day with eyes you would not otherwise see it with. It’s also better for your health. When you are negative in your thinking, everything sucks, you walk around stressed out, a big chip on your shoulder, because, essentially, life sucks.

If instead you walk around experiencing, living in the present moment, enjoying life as best you can, you will find things to laugh at, you will see clearly through any conflict, and your body will be loose and relaxed. No high blood pressure spikes, no aggravated physical conditions, going to bed with a smile is the difference between tossing and turning all night or falling into a peaceful, restful slumber.

Now you see why a positive mindset is essential for your health, and to ensure that you set good intentions. Think about this for a moment. When God began to create everything He knew that Adam and Eve would disobey Him and fall prey to the temptation of the devil. He knew that He would have to send His Son, a part of Himself, to die on a cross for the sins of humanity. He knew his lovely garden would become corrupted, that the earth would acquire a taint He never intended. He let none of this affect Him when He created everything, and for a while it was perfect, just as He intended.

Of course this leads us to all sorts of conflicting questions I still have no answer to. Why send Lucifer and 1/3 of the angels to earth, or more likely, to the lowest, material physical plane, where earth would exist, knowing full well what they would do? Why not cast them into another reality entirely? Also if God intended everything to be good, how could anything be powerful enough to mess up His intention? Wouldn’t something God created be essentially set in stone, always exactly as He wanted? I mean He is God afterall, isn’t He?

I have no answers for you. Like everything else in our reality intentions are not perfect, and neither is our best love. So they will not always work. But that is not an excuse not to exercise the gift, the ability, God has given you! You don’t need a spellbook or a wand to use real magic. All you have to do is harness the power of intention, and the more you do so in love the stronger they are!

Imagine instead of going to bed after your bad (so far) week and, instead of just thinking about yourself, you put yourself in the shoes of your co-workers and friends. If the day has been bad for you, perhaps it has been bad for them. Realizing this you go to bed wanting everyone to have a good day tomorrow. You genuinely feel for the plight of your co-workers, not just yourself. You are acting out of love. That intention will have a definite and powerful effect, even though it may not be immediately obvious.

Intentions have to be powered up every day. You say them just once, believing and trusting that what you state will happen. This is integral. If you don’t really believe something will work, it won’t. We see the inverse in the field of medicine, with placebos healing all sorts of terminal illnesses. The people taking them believed they would work, and they did. Likewise you have to believe and trust that your intentions will work, even if they don’t, even if they never have for years, because at some point they will.

In fact every time you set an intention you cause a small change. The more powerful the intention the stronger if not larger, the change. But you can’t split a mountain in half with just one small crack. You have to keep at it, deepening it, lengthening it. It may take years, it may take your whole life. but sooner or later that crack which started so small reaches the other side of the mountain and the entire thing is split in two.

Understand that the reason things take so long here to happen are due to outside factors, opposing intentions, balance of free will, and of course that things on the physical plane take time to manifest. In the spiritual realm they manifest almost instantly. Your intentions probably start in the spiritual, then travel down to the physical. The higher the intention, the more driven by love, the longer it will take (most likely) but the more powerful it will be. Like lightning. A bolt starting high in the atmosphere will have to have more power than a bolt near to earth in order to reach the ground. Love gives these higher intention s energy, but they still have to travel before manifesting here. Likewise lower level intentions may manifest here more quickly, but of course they are not very powerful. Well that’s my theory on all of this anyway.

So how to you work with this powerful ability? It’s very simple. Change your mindset. If you are a pessimist or a realist it’s time to stop focusing on the past, worrying about the future, and focus on the present. You really need to start meditating to help you deal with your mental chatter and immerse you fully in the present. Yoga, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and other forms of moving meditation should also work. Anything on which you can completely focus, letting thoughts come and go without judging or paying attention to them.

Next you need to find things to be thankful for while appreciating what you have each and every day. You need to do things conscientiously, the Buddhists call this, “touching positive seeds in yourself and others.” Think about your actions, what you are saying, take your present-mindedness with you every time you get up in the morning.

Once your mindset has improved you will find your life already seems better. Now you can think about what you would like to have. What do you want for yourself? For your family? For others? These can be your initial list of intentions. I have two documents where constantly evolving lists live. One is “Nightly Statements of Intent”, the other “Daily Statements of Intent.” I read one through at night, before bed, just one time through, and the other before meditating after getting up the next day, after energizing myself, also just one time through.

They are written like this, “Today I am God’s Hands and I touch the positive seeds in others and myself.” and “Tonight, I master my dreams.” That last one is a new one. Been trying to find the best intention to help me control my dreams. Lot of trial and error here. Italics are included for emphases on action and those affected by action. This is my format. I started with, “Today I want to…” but changed to this more direct format.

Notice something about both. Neither say anything about what I don’t want. They are written from a perspective, in this case, from what will happen. Like a command. They are also, in some cases, written from a positive perspective, stating what I want. When you write our your intentions focus on what you want, or what will happen. Never state what you don’t want, or use any kind of negative focus! This is very important! Remember that mechanism will give you exactly what you tell it, and when you tell it about something you don’t want, your focus is on that negative thing, so the intention provides an outcome based on your focus.

When you write your intentions and state them, your focus should always be on what you want, for yourself, your family, or others, or they should be commands of things that will happen. Things of course that you want to happen, but stated in such a way as they will happen. If you can go a step further and state them as if they have already happened, you are at the highest power setting, I guess you could call it, of intentions. But that high setting comes at a cost.

Bruce Moen, in his excellent book, “The Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook” (which I highly recommend you get and read) teaches the reader to find the, “place of intent.” Essentially you figure out how it feels to intend something, and from then on you just remember that feeling when stating your intentions. This is a good way to increase the power and effectiveness of your intentions!

For me this spot is in the middle of my chest. I press there, lightly, to physically and mentally remember the feeling as I take my hand away, and after energizing (this is also covered in the book) I state my intentions. I know when I am speaking from my place of intending because my voice gets real deep, has a serious tone, and becomes very commanding.

If you say, “Today Karen is my girlfriend” but you haven’t asked her out yet you will, if you are like me, cringe inside, flinch a little. That brings in doubt, you know you are lying, that what you are saying has not happened yet, and that will weaken your intention, making the higher power setting useless, or it will backfire on you based on whatever mental chatter you have going on in your mind at the moment you flinched. That is why meditation is so important when using intentions. It is the only way to give you a direct connection, a clear signal, to the mechanism that makes intentions work. Any doubt, fear, hesitation – anything negative at all – even hidden in mental chatter, will either weaken your intention or focus it in some negative outcome.

Guess what I have given you with this post? The power to change the world. Literally. With a present-minded, positive mindset, driven by the purest love you can connect to, using the power of intentions, perhaps even being able to use them at the highest power level with no flinching, no doubt, no disbelief, no fear, no mental chatter, no interference at all, you can, and will change the world. Like the mountain, but at a much larger scale, your intention, stated in this way, powered by love, will send a ripple through all of existence. It starts off small but like ripples in a lake it keeps growing and growing, getting bigger and bigger. Only this ripple you have manifested is energy, power, and it ripples through the spiritual and physical realms, affecting everything and everyone. You say that intention once a day for years, decades even, and the changes you desire will manifest.

At a lower power level your new mental attitude and place of present-mindedness has already affected how you see the world, and made it a much better place. The intentions you set from here have the power to change your reality, and the reality of others you care about. Not all of us need to be world changers. Being a life changer is just as respectable a position, and who knows, your life changing, reality altering abilities may change the life of someone who will then become a world changer.

We are all connected at a deep energetic level. Everything we do affects everyone else and the world we live it. You can continue through life hating every moment, having a terrible experience, never changing your own life much less anyone else’s, or you can find reasons to love life, to love other people, changing your life and the lives of those around you, perhaps, indirectly or directly, the world.

The choice is yours.