Finding Your Way Through

At the suggestion of a friend I have opened up, “The Nature of Personal Reality” last night and began reading. Today I started on Seth’s introduction and encountered this, “What exists physically exists first in thought and feeling. There is no other rule.” This passage, and one from earlier, “Your conscious thoughts can be great clues in uncovering such obstructions” (obstructions defined as, “strongly negative characteristics present in your most intimate thoughts.”)

So I started thinking about what things I might be consciously thinking about. Asking myself if perhaps the things of which I am aware of are things I am thinking about. But then wondering if that could be considered a conscious thought, because it seems to me that a conscious thought is a thought I am actively directing. Unconscious thoughts would then be things I am thinking about that I am not directing. In other words, conscious thoughts are initiated, while unconscious thoughts just happen. But do both come from a point of awareness?

Anyhow one of the things I am aware of is my back pain. It comes, I have been saying, from sleeping on a fold-out sofa in an RV, on memory foam mattresses that loose all their resistance when they are warm. It has been warm these last few days, and as I recall, I always slept better when the room was cool and the mattresses were stiffer/firmer.

But if my physical pain existed first in thought and feeling, from what thought or feeling did it originate? I thought at first it came of my negative attitude towards my bed. Then I thought maybe it came from my dislike of having to put away my bed every morning and make it every night. Then I realized that it likely ultimately came from my negative attitude towards my current living circumstances/situation, living in this RV with my parents. When when I think these words it is like I am spitting them out. You can see now how the second quote applies, my conscious thoughts giving me clues here to these obstructions, these negative feelings.

What this all boils down to is that my bed literally cannot support me because I do not support it! As cute as this simple explanation is, if I go deeper I see that the reason I have this back pain is because I have not been accepting things as they are. I have not, do not and am not yet, loving and accepting my living circumstances/situation as they are. Instead I am railing against it – resisting it. It is the conflict from this resistance that is creating the physical pain I am experiencing. I bet if I dug a little deeper I could even figure out what lower back represents according to someone like Louise Hay in, “You Can Heal Your Life.” I may come back to that. But I’ll bet it’s related!

The question is, how do I fix this? What solution(s) can I try to address what is essentially the energetic cause of this physical pain? I have learned from the teachings of Abraham I can not jump from from where I am, in anger and hatred and resistance, to love. Too far to go. It seems to me what I can do is start to bless my bed, every night as I make it, and every morning as I put it away. Furthermore I can bless this RV and my current living circumstances/situation, every time I exit or enter the motor home. Finally I can be thankful – I can practice gratitude. I can be grateful that the RV has given me a place to live, a roof over my head as it were, and I can be thankful that I have a bed to sleep on. I can show appreciation for the fold-out sofa, for the memory foam mattresses, for my sheets, for my blankets, and for the RV itself.

I think gratitude is so important because it helps to dissolve negativity. Blessing something and being thankful for it is the acid that will eat away all the negativity around an issue. But it is a gentle acid. It helps the negativity to be gently released, to just effortlessly come free of whatever it is tightly wound around. Going after negativity with negativity may remove some of the negativity you are attempting to remove, but will almost certainly leave some behind. As always, flow not force is the key.

Finally an “attitude of gratitude” is, I think, the first step towards acceptance. This isn’t the same as surrender or giving up. Acceptance is a way of acknowledging things as they are and being willing to leave them like that. You do not wish they were something else, you don’t try to force them to change – you take them as they are. Acceptance of a thing leads to love. You can not love something you do not appreciate, and you can not love something you do not accept. To get to acceptance, you must go through appreciation AKA gratitude, and acceptance AKA allowance.

Acceptance AKA allowance is important because it puts you in the position of conscious choice. You are not simply reacting to something that comes into your experience. Something comes into your experience, and you choose how you will respond. You can fight against it – resistance – and this will create conflict in your life. It will take the power from you, and place it with whatever it is you are resisting. Basically you choose whether or not something that comes into your life will have power over you or not. You choose how to perceive it. You choose how you will label it. You can label it as negative and resist it – denying that it is there. Or you can accept that it is there, allow it to be as it is, then decide how you will perceive it.

To use my own life as an example, I attempted to head out on my own via bicycle in 2016 and then ended up coming back here, living in my parent’s RV. Things came together for me to go to Clark College. If I looked at things that way, this whole circumstance/situation has been a blessing. But living in the RV has meant I have no personal space, no hot showers, and I sleep on a heavily worn/used fold-out couch, on two memory foam mattresses, one a topper and one thicker, but neither of them very dense foam. I have to make my bed every night and put it away every morning. Up until now I have seen this as a curse. I have been resisting it. My resistance of it has not changed it at all. But it has caused me to be unable to perceive my circumstances/situation as a blessing. It has likely also lead to the physical issues I have been experiencing, including my back pain.

If I had instead accepted the RV and my bed, allowing these things to be as they are and not wishing they were anything else (resistance), I would have been able to practice gratitude, and I likely would not be experiencing these physical symptoms. The RV and my bed will be the same either way. I can get angry at these things all I want – they are still what they are – I can not change them by my negativity towards them. I can also appreciate these things – again they are still what they are – I can not change them by my positive attitude towards them.

Or can I? I suspect that things can change only when we are in a state of appreciation and allowance, because they have to match the energy we are giving out. In other words our attitude, feelings and thoughts draw things to us. Then our attitude, feelings and thoughts keep these things with us or help us to release them and let them go.

Something bad remains bad as long as we feel negativity towards it. Often our negativity towards it will make it worse. The molehill becomes a mountain. The princess feels the pea no matter how many mattresses are on it, and the pea gets larger and larger, even as it remains the same size. But something bad can not remain bad if we feel positive towards it. This means that the only way to change something undesirable which has come into our life experience is to love and accept that thing as it is, and to find a way to bless it and be thankful for it.

In my case it would be hard to love and accept my bed as it is, and I am not sure I could see it as a blessing, much less be thankful for it. But I can love and accept the RV and my current living circumstances/situation as they are. I can think about how this thing that has come into my life experience has been a blessing to me, and I can show appreciation for the ways it has been a blessing. That will, indirectly, allow me to bless and show appreciation for all the other aspects of this experience, including my bed. I can even find my way to appreciation and blessing for these physical symptoms, including my back pain, because it has given me a point through which I could gain the knowledge I now have. I might even be able to apply that to my bed and directly find a way to bless and appreciate it.

When you cut yourself there is pain that directs your attention to where the damage has occurred. Likewise my back pain has drawn my attention to where this damage has occurred, AKA the likely energetic cause of the physical back pain symptom. OK, let’s check in with Louise Hay:

“Lower Back – Fear of money. Lack of financial support.

Middle Back – Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. ‘Get off my back,’

Upper Back – Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love.”

The pain is mostly in my middle and lower back. Spot on as usual! Gonna have to think about, “fear of money” though. In what way am I afraid of money? How do I work through that?

Remember that you choose what comes into your life experience, and you also choose how you will respond to what comes into your life experience. Resistance AKA Denial will give power to a thing, causing conflict between it and you and creating undesirable energetic causes resulting in undesirable physical symptoms. Acceptance AKA Allowance will give power to you, causing no conflict between it and you and creating desirable energetic causes resulting in desirable physical symptoms.

If something has come into your experience you no longer want to be there, the first step is to accept it as it is, allowing it to be as it is. Stop resisting it. The next step is to bless it in order to release any negativity wound tightly around it. You have to release it and let it go – all of your negativity – your anger, bitterness, hatred, etc. You may need to forgive someone or something. Once you have managed this, you have to see it differently. Up until now you saw it as something bad. You have to find some way to bless it. Did it teach you something? Is it a part of a larger thing for which you can show appreciation and be thankful?

If you are unable to really get behind the appreciation, blessing and gratitude, just say the words. Repeat them every time you think about this thing or encounter it or are reminded of it. Repeat it until it becomes true. Always allow yourself to feel what you feel – do not repress or resist your feelings! Flow not force. In time, through gentle reinforcement, you may find that you can appreciate, bless or show gratitude towards this thing, either indirectly or directly.

It will be interesting to see how I can apply these things in the next few days and what the results will be.

I Was Meant To Fly

I am making a declaration, a public statement. I have made a choice, a decision, tonight. I have allowed others to forge chains and bind me to the ground. I have consciously or unconsciously agreed to be bound by each chain. I have consciously or unconsciously chosen to stay bound, to stay grounded, until this moment.

I am now making the conscious decision, the conscious choice, that I will no longer allow myself to be bound, and that I no longer agree to others binding me. I declare, I claim, I choose, I decide, that I was meant to fly. I am a free spirit, I was always meant to soar and be free.

I do not know what brought me to the ground. Maybe I was born with wings, and my parents quickly “clipped” them, either not knowing any better, or following the dictates of others through societal expectations or religions, or perhaps both. I will not carry the weight of blame, fear, guilt or shame with me. I will not carry the weight of bitterness or resentment. I will not hold onto grudges. I want to feel the sun on the fabric of my wings, so I now, in this moment, release and let go of all that would weigh me down.

I acknowledge your labels, and I accept their existence. I do not resist the existence of these things, or your use of them. But I claim, I choose, I decide that your labels will no longer stick to me. That is your path, the use of these is your choice, your decision, and I leave you to it, I leave you to your path. Maybe you were born with wings like me, yet choose to stay grounded. Maybe you never had wings at all. My path, my practice, is to accept myself as I am, so that I may accept you as you are.

This is real love. Love doesn’t try to save anyone. Love doesn’t try to change anyone. Love doesn’t require anything. Love does not require sacrifices. It is not some god that must be appeased. Real love, true love for others, is the practice of allowing others to be as they are, without criticism, without judgment. Real love, true love, for yourself is to do the same. Accept yourself as you are without criticism, without judgment.

Because I love myself I can no longer allow myself to be bound to the earth, to the ground. Because I love you I understand that you may need labels. You may fear spreading your wings and flying. You may need to stay grounded. You may even need to hate me for being myself and loving myself for who I am, a free creature who was created to fly in the warmth of the sun.

Whatever it is you feel you must do, however is its you believe you must be, or things must be, or even others must be, I leave you to it. I choose, I decide, that your beliefs, your desires, your needs – all that you vehemently defend – no longer has any power over me. I agreed before, probably before I knew what I was agreeing to, that you would have this power over me. I no longer agree to this. I actively and consciously choose, I decide, that this is no longer so.

I have spread my wings. I have launched myself from the ground. I am flying now. I am feeling the warmth of the sun on my flesh. I am feeling the bite of the wind over my skin. I am enjoying the freedom I was always meant to enjoy. The freedom I was created and designed to enjoy. Join me if you wish, or stay on the ground, the choice is yours. What will you choose? What will you decide for yourself? Do you have wings or not? If you have wings, will you stay grounded or not? Will you give into fear, or will you embrace and face your fear?

I no longer claim myself to be a looser, either by my own definition or society’s. I claim myself to be a success, to be successful, to win and be a winner. However I may currently appear to those who look on me and my life, these are the last days I live this way. These are the last days I allow myself to feel fear guilt or shame.

Such clever devices you have used to slip those chains over my neck, over my feet and hands! Make me feel bad about myself, when I have no way to defend myself, when I don’t know, don’t realize that I never needed to defend or justify myself to you, then slip those chains on by using labels such as failure or looser. Whisper them into my ear as I slept, until I started repeating the lies you told me! Until I was whispering them to myself before dropping into blissful slumber, hoping the next day would be better, but of course, as long as I was chained there it never was.

This is behind me now, beneath me. I no longer believe these things, I no longer choose them or claim them for myself. Even if you were to look at my life and see that it matched perfectly some definition or label you have for me, I choose, I decide, that I will not accept it for myself. I will no longer accept any of your labels, no matter how true they may be in your perception. I will no longer allow you to apply them to me. This is my path, my practice, from this moment forward!

I claim myself to be a free spirit. I claim for myself a life I want to live. A life of abundance and empowerment. A life of freedom and flight. Whatever awaits me in the future, whatever I encounter, I will look back and read these words, and I will remember. I was born to be free, and I was created to fly.