All I Want for Christmas

In the Bible and the various spiritual teachings I have studied one thing becomes very clear, and that is you have to ask to receive. In other words you have to put it out there about whatever it is you want. It is not enough to simply yearn for something. You have to send a clear signal not only to the Universe but also to your fellow humans that you want something, and what it is.

But that’s not the entire process. After you have done your asking you have to be open to receiving. Someone may offer you a little money, or some item, or something. In some way it will come up that someone will offer you something, and your task is to practice receptivity, gratefully accepting what has been offered, without offering anything in return, or feeling guilty, or feeling obligated, or feeling ashamed, or anything else. Gratitude is the only acceptable thing to feel. Practice this enough and more things will come to you, eventually culminating in the thing you desire. But be aware you may get your answer to your prayer, and it may not be the exact answer you were looking for. However it will be the best answer for you at that time in your life.

I am still developing this in myself. It is very hard for me, because the Universe uses those closest to me to give me things. Those closest to me happen to be my parents, who have very little money. So I have to find a way to gratefully receive what I have asked for when it comes through them, when the Universe uses them as a channel to deliver something to me, and I have to do it without feeling ashamed, or guilty about it, or obligated to them in any way. As you might have guessed, I have not been very successful at this. In fact at this present moment I am not very successful at asking others for help at all. This is an incredibly hard lesson for me, and until I learn it I will experience a lack of abundance of all desired or desirable things.

Thankfully by the simple act of humbly stepping forward and stating what I desire or need, I am practicing the mindset which is required for these things to find their way to me. Also by daily practicing gratitude I am practicing the correct way to feel when things do come to me. I admit it, things have been tough, and as far as I can see, they are only going to get tougher. I have to work on that too, my perception. The ideal state is to acknowledge what is, to not run away from the way things are. But at the same time, to remain focused on what is desired. I am having a lot of success using The Remembering Method, when I approach something I want, visualizing it as it will be, remembering all the things that led up to the fulfillment of my request. Basically seeing it as if it is a present fact, as if it has already happened. I have co-authors Daniel Barret and Joe Vitale to thank for this:

All of this leading up to the main point of this post, letting my fellow humans know what I want for Christmas this year. First you need to know a little bit about me. I love Christmas, I love presents, and it doesn’t matter that I am 42 going very soon on 43. I will ALWAYS love Christmas and presents. When I have children of my own, their birthdays and holidays will be filled with gifts. Not as some sort of substitute for love. I know that a lot of people make things for others, or buy things for others, to show their affection. No, this will be in addition to being the most loving and supportive father I can be.

For me, gift giving is all about the thrill of playing Santa, uncovering something someone wants, and if I have the ability to get it for them, getting it and enjoying their enjoyment of the gift. Also I enjoy spreading the blessings and joy around. When I am experiencing abundance, I want to share it with my loved ones. I live for these things. In fact I often find myself frustrated with my parents, because they don’t want to put in the effort of taking my list (I usually write out a Christmas/Birthday list for everyone) then shopping for any of the items on it. They would rather just give me money.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that they give me anything at all, and I appreciate all the monetary gifts my family has given me over the years, whether its a coupe of bucks from grandma for my birthday (she hasn’t missed one to my recollection) or a $20.00 bill from my uncle, or a gift card. I really am grateful for any presents I get. I go into the end of the year expecting nothing, because nobody in my family is especially well off, and let’s face it, according to society you are supposed to stop getting presents around age 12. I know not everyone agrees with that, but you have to admit there is this mentality out there in people that “you are too old for presents.” Santa Claus is seen as something only little kiddies believe in.

Anyhow it really hurts when my parents don’t want to put in the time and effort to get me something I really needed or wanted. But I understand. I don’t think its that they don’t think I am good enough or special enough or worth it. It’s just they don’t like the crowds, they are worried about getting the wrong thing, and it’s a lot of work when you get down to it. But it still hurts. It means so much to me whens someone thinks enough about me to read my list, go out, get something on it, and give that to me as a present for my Birthday or Christmas.

No, I do not believe in Santa Claus. But I don’t deny the possibility of Santa Claus either. I would love to live in a world with Santa Claus in it. I really would. I would love to live in a world of real magic like that, or like Harry Potter. The idea of an individual reading Christmas letters, working on a naughty and nice list, then delivering presents to everyone is something I love. I have even sent letters to Santa as recent as a few years ago. Because even though I do not think he exists, I really want him to. I want there to be a Mr. and Mrs. Claus somewhere with a bunch of magical elves making presents for everyone. I watch the Polar Express almost every year and I want to be worthy of a Believe punch-out on my ticket. I want to be able to hear the bell until my final days on earth.

Most of all I want to pass all these wonderful feelings, all this stuff I love, onto my children. I want them to be inspired by and love magic too. I want them to look beyond physical reality, at places I have never really been able to go as yet. I want them to explore those places as thoroughly as I explored the land anywhere near my house as a kid. I hiked all over the woods, bicycled everywhere. I want them to go everywhere outside of normal physical perception, and be just as familiar with the worlds that await there as I was with the land around my house. That’s what I want, in the future, when I have children of my own.

However, for this Christmas, for my soon-coming birthday (December 11th), what I want is simply stated, if not as simply given. I want a large, decorated tree, with lots of presents under it for everyone in my family and myself, and I want a house filled with Christmas spirit to put it in. I have always yearned for a Home Alone 2 Christmas, where some kindly, well-off person gives me piles and piles of presents, because I have never experienced this. Never. To my recollection at most I have received 6 presents a year, in total, between my birthday and Christmas. Only once or twice have the presents have been awesome!

I am not saying this to complain. That is not my intention. I appreciate and am thankful for every gift I have ever received. Sometimes the most mundane gift has turned out to be a blessing, one instance I can think of being two pairs of socks my uncle got me I think before grandma sold her house. I had one pair with me when I ended up living with my parents, and wore them out over the years. I just recently found the other pair in storage, and now have a fresh, warm pair of socks to wear on these chilly evenings.

No… I said what I did to emphasize the point that I have never had a pile of presents, and I would like to experience that. I realize that very few people actually get piles of presents for Christmas. I get that. I know that things are rarely if ever like the movies. I get that too. I am just saying I would like that moment, that experience, of coming down the stairs, and BAM! There’s a pile of presents waiting for me. I have wanted this for years. Do you understand what I am trying to say?

In my example here, in my request, the gift is not the presents themselves, but the experience of having a pile of awesome presents. And its not about the tree, but the house. I am currently living in an RV. We have no working heater, no working hot water. Our hot water tank as well as our front and rear heaters have to be serviced, and we have no way of doing so.

We are getting by for now. But if we have a cold year like last year, I am not sure how we will deal. We can dress warm, we can use the electric heaters we have, we can run the propane stove. But we can use very little power, and in these recent cold days we had, which were not anywhere near as cold as we had last year, just a little frosty, it was barely enough. All this besides my having to empty the sewer every 7-10 days, carrying 6-8 buckets of shit to the house. Takes me about 45 minutes, then I have to wash off, because those little droplets of sludge get everywhere and REALLY smell!

So yeah, having a house to live in instead of an RV, where I am warm and no longer have to walk buckets of human waste anywhere, where I can take a hot shower and where I don’t have to put away and make my bed every day – that is what I want. It’s not just a request for me, it is for my parents too. My dad is going in for surgery, and he will be some time recovering. Hiking up and down steps into and out of an RV is not the best thing for him to be doing, and we are nowhere near a hospital if there are any complications.

The huge decorated tree and presents are just long-hold dreams of mine. They would make Christmas and my birthday extra special this year. Failing the manifestation of these, getting the RV fixed and insulated against winter for little or no cost would be next on the list. Even just fixing the front heater and water tank would be a VAST improvement on our situation!

Next up on the list would be a gaming laptop, or a laptop with a separate video card that is not built in to the processor. Used or new I don’t care. Only that it works. I would be happy with a quad-core Intel i7 and 8 gigs of RAM, or the AMD equivalent. I am also looking for something where the touch pad is some distance away from the arrow keys, so if I am using the arrow keys at an angle my hand is nowhere near the touch pad. But I would be ecstatic if I could get that with 16 gigs of RAM and features like a keyboard designed for heavy gaming use. The Acer Predator 17 X is a good example of what I am drooling over:×1080-i7-7820HK/dp/B01N353QOO/

Next up a bicycle fitted to me. I am 6′ tall and have long arms. So I would like a 28″ bicycle that can support my 300 pound weight plus whatever I may be carrying. After that a Galaxy Note 8. My uncle came through, once we re-established communications, and updated my parent’s phones. They are now rocking some Samsung s7s. They needed it. But I would like to upgrade my phone too. The rest of the list would be filled with things like some money in my Steam wallet (username dreambliss various PC games, a PS3 or PS4 or Xbox One or Xbox 360 and a variety of games, a set of quality head buds, a 16 gig MP3 player without bloatware like the Phillips brand similar to my current 8 gig MP3 player.

Also if I didn’t have a house to live in and if the RV wasn’t repaired it would be nice to have a few weekends of free stays at a nice, pet-friendly hotel where my parents and I could have separate bedrooms. So at least we could be warm and enjoy hot showers for a few days during the worst of the winter. We enjoyed our time at Staybridge, and ES suites looked intriguing last time I looked at one of their dual rooms.

Finally there are a vast number of courses, seminars, training, etc, I would like to attend. Silvia Nakkach’s Yoga of the Voice. Abraham’s cruises or workshops. The Silva Method. Anything that would get me astral projecting and lucid dreaming on a regular basis. Also books. Old channeled texts published around 1850-1950. Modern channeled texts – especially the Seth books. A variety of titles I have mentioned at this blog. I would love to get my hands on WoLD’s Preproduction Blueprint video tutorial series. Stuff like that.

These are a lot of the things I would love for Christmas and my birthday, listed in order of preference. Maybe you would like to help but don’t have the funds to get any of these things? Well you could become my Patron at Patreon, subscribing for whatever amount you are comfortable with a month, and you are free to cancel that at any time. Or, if you want to start your own Patreon page, use my referral link. That costs you nothing and nets me a little cash – so we both win! Here are the links:

My Patreon Page:

My Patreon Referral Link:

If nothing else you could send your loving, supportive energy to me and my family, that some or all of these things may come into our lives, or something even better. I would greatly appreciate your loving, supportive thoughts and healing every as my dad faces surgery and we all face the upcoming winter months.

Thank you for reading. May you and your family be truly blessed this holiday season!

My Birthday Is On December 11th!

If you would like to send me a gift, just send me a message from the Contact Page with, “Birthday” or “Christmas Gift” at the top. Ask for my mailing address, and I will reply back with it. If you like you can send an item from the list below to that address.

You can also send me gift cards (especially Amazon, NewEgg and Olive Garden) or money, which will be much appreciated, and used to get myself a nice gaming keyboard or mouse, as well as some things that I need.

Even if all you send me is your well wishes for my birthday and Christmas, I appreciate them, each and every one of them, especially this year, when things are so hard for me. Please accept my well wishes for you and your loves ones in return.

Thank you –
– Mark

My Birthday/Christmas Wish List (Updated December 10th)

1. Horse Hair or Badger Hair (prefer Horse Hair as the animal is not harmed) shaving brush with holder.

2. A pen with a light in the tip (not shining through the shaft.)

3. Books:
– Bicycling The Pacific Coast
I will need this for when I bicycle down to California next year.
– The Power of Imagination (The Neville Goddard Treasury) by Neville
I really, really, really want this book!
– Any Zen haiku/poetry (Ryokan, Issa, Rumi, David Budbill)
– Dreaming Yourself Awake by B Alan Wallace
– Lucid Dreaming Plain and Simple by Robert Waggoner and Caroline McCready
There are so many good exercises in this!

4. Bookbinding kit with real bone bone folder.

5. Desktop zen garden or fountain.

6. Starbuck’s Gift/Reload card

7. Some sort of electronics or mechanics kit that teaches the basics of electronics, mechanics or both.

Listed in order of preference with no expectation whatsoever.

My Dream List

In an effort to find even the tiniest spark of Christmas Spirit, I thought I would add this section to my Birthday and Christmas wishlist. This part will be as I would have written it when I was a little boy, writing a letter to Santa.

I don’t recall ever doing that, and I while I do not believe in Santa, I do not disbelieve in him either. In fact I think the world would be a far more happy and magical place with jolly old saint nick in it. So if nothing else, I hope he exists.

In the spirit of asking for things without worrying about costs or practicality, I present my dream list. These are things I deeply and truly desire. If even one of these requests were granted, it would be like a miracle for me. Not because it is too much to ask, but because it is more than I believed I would ever receive.

One more thing… You may notice an odd assortment of items on my list. You may question why a soon-to-be 40 year old man still writes a Birthday Christmas list. Part of the joy in the experience for me is when someone gives me a list, and I am able to get the items they have asked for, or help to get them.

But another part of the joy for me is when someone has taken the time to hunt down something for which I have asked. For me that is the biggest part of the gift. The effort, energy and time taken on my behalf. I do not know why that is, but it is important to me, and it does matter to me.

It matters that I make this effort for others, and that they make this effort for me. This is part of the magic of Christmas, and Santa is the personification of that magic. To care about someone just enough to make the effort and take the time to find then give them something for which they have asked.

Here then, if I could ask for anything in the world, are the things for which I would ask:

1. A date with a beautiful woman sometime before my birthday this year. Someone who is the right person for me at this time in my life, and for whom I am the right person at this time in hers. Someone who shares common interests with me, including such things as esoteric and spiritual subjects, playing video games, building or creating things, reading books and poetry, traveling. Someone hard working, intelligent, kind and patient. It would be really nice if she had long, naturally red hair. It would also be nice if she was free of any institutionalized or organized religion.

2. A 5 – 7 day stay for my parents, myself and my brother (if he wants to come) plus any guests we may have this December in Leavenworth, Washington. All expenses paid, luxury accommodations with hot tub and all meals provided. It would be nice to have chiropractic and massage services as a bonus primarily for my parents, although I may also wish to use them.

3. A breakthrough in my efforts to consciously, with full awareness, astral project and lucid dream. Success in entering, being inside of and leaving these states, remembering everything and recording it upon return to the physical or waking. Success in being able to consistently, easily and regularly enter these states from that point on. Success in my lucid dreaming goals, and later, my astral projection goals as I set them.

4. A 60” or larger 1080p LCD TV suitable for gaming (high refresh rate) and as a computer monitor, plus a PS4, PS3, Xbox One and Xbox 360, with all the trimmings (4 controllers each, Motion N Joy etc.), the latest racing, RPG and FPS games including any Halo games released on the Xbox systems, and the best editions of these games (collector’s, limited, etc.)

5. A few good friends, true friends, with whom I could sit down and share this TV, these consoles and these games. People it would be fun to hang out with and play these games. People who would enjoy hanging out and playing games with me. People who, when the game playing is done, would enjoy talking about our shared interests in a variety of esoteric and spiritual subjects. People who could teach me things, like how to program or level design, and who I could teach things, if I had anything of interest or value to share with them.

Again listed in order of preference with no expectation whatsoever.