So this has come up as the next hurdle on my path. I have been told, as I may have mentioned, that I have been running away. Running away from hurt, running away from pain, running away from my destiny. I have been told I need to embrace my fear, embrace the pain, then work through it, and embrace my destiny. I have also been told to write.
Of all these instructions I have only been able to follow one, and that is to write. And, as I may have mentioned, writing has become easier for me. More effortless. Although I am still meeting resistance in the form of struggling what I want to write about. But at least now I am ready to let my fingers fly over the keyboard, should something come to mind.
It came to me today that maybe I will put out another questioning piece. These are tough, because I am not coming with any sort of solution. I am asking you how am I to do this thing, what do you think? I am seeking communication and interaction with others – perhaps together we can figure this out? Because honestly, I have no idea how to stop running away.
I think part of the problem might be that I didn’t know I was running away in the first place. I thought I taking responsibility for things. I though I was accepting the things that came, as they are. I thought I was embracing everything I needed to embrace. It turns out I thought wrong, although I am still struggling to come to agreement with that. Because it doesn’t seem like me. It doesn’t seem like my idea of myself. My idea of how I am.
I think maybe I haven’t been running away… What I mean is, that I haven’t started running away from anything in these later years. A voice in my head tells me that this isn’t true – we shall see. What I think is going on is that I started running away a long time ago, and I was, maybe am still, running away today. As there was no conscious decision I was aware of to run away, I didn’t think I was doing it. The fact I have been running away outside of my awareness, even were I to bring awareness to it, it would seem normal. Like breathing. Something I have always done. That’s my theory anyway.
So I guess the first step to stop running away is to become aware that I am running away. Maybe the next step is to state out loud my pain – whatever I am running away from. Then write that down, bringing awareness to it. I suppose that is the course of action I will have to take. But I do not know what do to do after that. A voice in my head tells me to renounce running away. That would make sense. As running away was a normal course of action for me, but no longer serves, it is likely time to renounce it and turn my back on it.
I guess that would be the next step. It is perhaps only after stopping that I can face whatever I am running away from, and only in facing it that I can work through it. Perhaps that is my best course of action. What do you think? Is there anything in your life, obvious once you think about it, from which you are running away? How long have you been running away from this?
If you are someone who was avoiding certain things, running away from certain things, and have since figured out how to stop and work through them, what is the process you used? How did you do it? How did you stop avoiding, stop running away, and then face whatever it is you needed to face?
Please share you comments, suggestions and thoughts below. Thank you.