This Imperfect Circle

I find myself coming back around again to where I started, when I started this blog. A sort of imperfect Zen circle. A little gap because it is incomplete, because there is always more to learn, more to realize.

I named this blog Bliss Writer because Bliss was the last part of my internet moniker. Or at least I thought that’s why I named it that. But perhaps there was something more going on?

I watched the latest episode of Yahtzee’s Dev Diary today on YouTube, and he said something that woke me up a little. I always wondered how Stephen King could collect those rejection notices on a nail above his writing space, when he first started writing. The pressures of everyday life, all the resistance he must have encountered to his desire to write – none of it stopped him.

I think that’s because writing was his hobby. As Yahtzee said (not quoting him exactly), “If you don’t enjoy your hobby you need a new hobby.” Whatever thing you enjoy doing, that might be considered work by others, but does not seem like work to you, whatever it is you can do for years and years without any fame, recognition or monetary compensation, that should be your “hobby.” I would call it your passion.

If there is something you do that you do despite what anyone says, simply because you enjoy doing it, and can continue to do that thing even if it never brings you any money, then you have the right motivations. That should lead you to success. It is how Yahtzee started out with his Zero Punctuation game reviews. It is how Stephen King started his writing career.

If your hobby seems like work, then you need a new hobby. If you do whatever you enjoy doing because you want to become wealthy, then you have the wrong motivation. Even if you were to find success, it would be short-lived.

The quality of a “work” comes from the joy and love put into it. You can’t put joy and love into something if you intention is to become wealthy by it. You can only put joy and love into something you truly enjoy doing, and will do regardless of whether or not success comes to you.

I see now that writing is my hobby. But it has become corrupted by the wrong motivation. I have become discouraged, because it has never brought me any fame, money or recognition. I feel like you, my audience, do not appreciate my work, by your lack of support. So my writing has suffered.

I need to be able to come in here and write simply because I love to do it. I need to find the same motivation that Stephen King used that had him sending out letters to agents in the first place, and allowed him to not be bothered by their rejections. What started him in submitting his work? Whatever it was, it must have been pure, because it did not corrupt his writing, his hobby, his passion.

Writing has to become my Bliss, in other words. Bliss Writer needs to be a blog written in a state of bliss. Of pure enjoyment, no matter what obstacle I, the author, face. No matter what resistance I encounter. I must write for the joy of it. Writing will now be my hobby, the thing I can do for years to come without any need for any compensation, fame, money or recognition.

The only thing that troubles me is, with my uncertain future and current age, is how long do I really have to do invest in this, to follow this path when it may lead nowhere? But then again, if I am really writing in  a state of bliss, I would not be worried about that. I am sure Stephen King and Yahtzee never worried about the road ahead. I have to figure out how to let these fears and worries go and follow their examples.

I definitely have some internal work to do.

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