Failure Is A Judgment

According to Wayne Dyer, “…failure is an illusion. No one ever fails at anything. Everything you do produces a result.” and “…failure is a judgment. It’s just an opinion.”
Wayne Dyer, 10 Secrets for Success An Inner Peace

I never realized the truth of this until I read those words. For so long I have thought of myself as a failure. I made this acceptable by precluding it with, “in the eyes of society” or “according to society.” First of all, how in the hell do I know what society, as a whole, actually sees me as, if they even see me at all? Am I so important that everyone is looking at me, labeling me a failure or success? Likely not.

OK, maybe I am referring to those people around me then. But even in that case, I have no way of knowing how anyone truly feels or thinks of me. And putting that aside, failure or success is a frame, a way of perceiving myself and my value, a judgment call. It has no actual basis in reality at all. Even someone who sits on the couch, smokes weed drinks beer and plays video games all day is successful at sitting on the couch, smoking weed and playing video games all day!

What does it say about us, that we would look our noses down at another, at the way they live, and derive any feeling of satisfaction by thinking we are better than them? Who is looking down their noses at us? Who is looking down their noses at them? Why do we torment ourselves and others in this way? I am beginning to see that social pressure is no better than peer pressure, which is really no better than bullying.

We do not have to measure up to ANYONE’S standards! Not even our own! It is our choice, our decision! Don’t BS me by telling me, “I have no choice!” Fuck that! You do and you know you do! You can tell whoever it is to FUCK OFF in whatever way feels best to you. God will not smite you down, the earth will not stop turning, and the stars will continue to burn. The only thing that will change is that you will have taken the very first step in learning to respect yourself.

I an done with looking at others and criticizing and judging them. I have no goddamn right! Even when it comes to the worst examples of human monsters in the history of our race. I have to learn, I am learning, that we are all physical manifestations of God, and we all have our own paths to walk. This life is a classroom and a game all rolled into one. It is not meant to be taken seriously, nothing done here matters and has any consequence outside of the physical realm.

We may do something in this life and die, believing we are bound for hell, and we may die and end up in a place that meets our deepest, darkest imaginings of what hell is like. But at any point we can wake up, leave, and choose another experience. We get what we ask for, whether we want it or not. We choose, we decide, and our experiences reflect our beliefs and expectations. They are framed by our perceptions. The world looks like, and to us is, exactly what we really believe it looks like, and is. But few of us really see the world in its true form, outside of any frame.

What was it Edison said? Something about he didn’t fail 10,000 times to make a light bulb, he just found 10,000 ways it didn’t work? We take an action and this produces a result. It is up to us to call the result a failure or success. Or to buy into others defining it as a failure or success. That is our choice, it always has been and it always will be. We decide how to frame things, how we will perceive them, consciously or not it is always our choice, always our decision.

I don’t know about you but I am making a choice, a decision, right now to stop berating myself and calling myself a failure. My experience of life right now is not, in my opinion, in my perception, great. I don’t need to make it any worse by judging myself as somehow inadequate, or lacking, or worthless. I might be living on the side of the road or under a bridge a month from now. I don’t know what the future holds. I will try to create a better life experience for myself. But wherever I end up, from this moment on, I refuse to call myself a failure, or looser, or anything like that. I am done with that. How about you?

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