Woulda Coulda Shoulda – The Solution for Stress

I am directing this at everyone who worries and stresses over what they are worrying about. I am also addressing this to everyone who beats themselves up for either doing something or not doing it. Saying something or not saying it. Going somewhere or not going. Like all Truths, it is incredibly simple, and I have created a saying for this one. Ready?

If I should have done that, I would have done that.

Think about this for a moment. Let it sink it. To rephrase it for worriers:

If it should have happened, it would have happened
If it should not have happened, it would not have happened.

There is nothing in the entire history of mankind that should not have happened, without exception. That includes the Holocaust and any of our many wars. Before you get ready to attack me, let me clarify this… We may not like that it happened, or we may not have wanted it to happen, but the simple fact that these things happens proves that that were meant to happen.

The Universe is not chaotic. Everything happens for a reason. We can not always see the reason beyond our limited human perspective. When we are able to see the reason, when we are able to know and understand, we will. Until then we will not. Everything that has happened to us in our lives, no matter if we perceived it to be good or bead, was meant to happen. Nothing has happened to us, or will happen to us, that is not meant to happen.

This is a major burden we can release. Have any of your worries changed anything for the better? Has any of your condemnation of the bad things that have happened to you, others, humanity, etc., made anything better? Do you feel better for all your worrying and fear? Does it feel good to see something terrible that happened on the news and say out loud, “That’s wrong! That should never have happened!”

Be honest here. It feels clenched, tight, You muscles constrict, your teeth clench, you get into fight or flight mode. You are ready for battle. The problem is that you return to the tense state every time anything happens to you, or you hear about anything that has happened, that you do not like. This is, in a word, stress. It causes high blood pressure, increases the risk of heart attack, causes you to gain weight, etc.

If you can instead see something horrible, or experience something horrible, and at the end of it say, with a deep inner conviction and knowing that, “If it was meant to happen, it would. Since it happened, it was meant to happen” – that feels different. This is not resignation, because that is still a secret attachment to the way you think things should be. This is an inner conviction, and inner knowing, a faith that, even though you don’t agree with what happened, even though you do not like what happened, you acknowledge what you already know, that it happened because it was meant to.

The how and the way are not human concerns. They are simply not your business. These are left to God, Source, the Universe or whatever you want to call it. If you could know and understand why something happened, you would know it and understand it. If you could know and understand how something happened, or how to make something happen, you would know it. You know and understand only what you are able to know and understand at this point in your life. Nobody ever knows or understands more than they are truly ready for.

It’s liberating, because you don’t have to look back with regret at some missed opportunity. If you should have done that or gone there you would have. You don’t have to look back with bitterness and anger, trying to deny something that in your perception was bad that happened to you. If it happened to you, though you don’t know how or why, it was meant to happen to you. You can do the same with anything that has happened in human history.

Worrying will never find you a reason or a solution. It can’t. Worrying is denial. It is non-acceptance. You are not allowing yourself to accept something. Guilt also is denial. It is a way to beat yourself up about something instead of taking a moment to look inside yourself and facing whatever it is you need to face. In both cases you are not dealing with the issue, you are running away from it.

Allow, Release, Surrender. These are the three keys that will unlock everything for you. Embrace everything with acceptance and love, then release it and let it go. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, then release it and let it go. Proceed with confidence that nothing will happen in your life that is not supposed to, and there is nothing you can fail at because if you were meant to go somewhere or do something you would have gone there or done it. Anger, Fear, Guilt, Regret, Shame, etc. are all chains weighing you down. You will be a much happier person if you can just let all of that go.

Of course if you are meant to hear what I am saying and act on it, you will.

You might imagine, from what I have said here, that I am saying that nobody makes mistakes. This is correct. Nothing anyone has done or will do is wrong. The Universe sees no difference between a human killing a fly or another human. It sees no difference between humans killing each other and a lion killing a mouse. It sees no difference between a human raping another and a lion mounting a lioness in heat.

As much as you may not want this to be the case, Hitler is not roasting in hell somewhere. In fact, if you want him to be roasting in hell, if you are feeling anger, bitterness or hatred to another, you are the one who is in hell. Any desire for justice or vengeance closes you off from peace, and you close the door on experiencing love. Love is always there, but you are not allowing yourself to feel it. There is not a loving person on earth who seeks justice or vengeance for a perceived wrong.

As I have said before, right and wrong, good and bad exist only in human perception. There is no darkness, only light or an absence of light. The light is always there, it is humans who block it and live in darkness. You can think of your  time here in this physical form as akin to a surfer riding a wave. You are riding a wave of your actions, your choices, and whatever results from that. The ocean is the entire experience of all humans living right now, in this moment. All our waves interact and mingle with each other. They are all one.

You make a choice, You act. You steer your board a little this way or that, and ride a new wave of the results of your choice. Note that I am not using the word consequence here. That implies criticism or judgment; some sort of final reckoning. There is none. You could kill every person on this planet, you could destroy the earth itself, and you will still experience the end of your physical life, and the transition to whatever occurs after that.

You will bring with you everything you have learned. If you have grown during your time on earth you will transition to a higher form or reincarnate to learn new lessons. If you have stagnated and learned nothing, you will likely keep reincarnating until you learn whatever it is your soul needs or wants to learn. Some of the sources I have read state that immature souls are the ones that hurt others. Other sources say that our time here on earth is a sort of classroom. I think perhaps both are the Truth.

You are perfect and you do not make mistakes. You may not remember your perfection, and you may look at the things you have done or not done and think to yourself, “You know, I should have handled that better” or “I should have done that” or “I shouldn’t have done that.” None of this is True. You and your fellow humans may look at the things you have done or not done and label them as good or bad. But as far as the Universe is concerned, you have simply acted.

It is only in our society that we label things like murder and rape as bad or evil. It is only in human society that we have laws that allow us to live together on large numbers. Lions don’t have to worry about that. Some may think that lions are somehow less intelligent than humans. I don’t think so. In a pride of lions, the man can take his pick of the women when they are in heat. He may have to fight with other males, but he doesn’t have to go through all the bullshit that human males have to go through to find a mate. I think the animals have this figured out better than the humans.

Animals don’t require justice or vengeance. There is no consequence for killing one another. No men’s or women’s rights, no requirements to mate when they are in the mood. They live in large societies without the rule of law, and without the influence of man, their numbers remain stable, despite how many kill each other. Humanity may have intelligence, but until its members can live peaceably in large numbers without the need to control anyone’s behavior, we are less evolved than animals in this regard.

Proceed with confidence in your life. No matter how bad or good things get in your perception, no matter how seemingly out of control, everything is happening as it should, nothing is happening that shouldn’t, regardless of your opinion or the opinions of others. There is nothing to fear or worry about. You can trust yourself that you are doing the best you can at this time in your life, and this will remain true all the days you are here on this earth.

Release and Surrender your anger, bitterness, criticism, doubt, fear and judgment. There is no need for these things. Understand that to live in society you have to abide by its rules. If you do something that is perceived to be ethically and morally wrong, society will punish you. But as far as whatever you call god is concerned, you have done nothing wrong. There is no ethics, morality or rule of law in the spiritual dimensions. There is only love and light, and how much each soul allows itself to experience.

5 thoughts on “Woulda Coulda Shoulda – The Solution for Stress

  1. You used to be Christian…what I mean is that you must know certain things non Christian won’t know.For examples, every each mankind on this planet have been committed sins. As for me knowing this I am finding out how sinfulness humanity are almost helpless. Thank you always for reading my mail but I have never been Christian yet. But I belive God would guide me. I have learned about worrying. Jesus says DON’T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW,LET TOMORROW WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW!
    Junko klapproth


  2. Instead of the Bible, purchase and read this, it will cover everything you want to know:

    There is no other text that has ever resonated with me as much as this one, and I feel it is True. It is very encouraging, gentle and loving.

    As for Emmet Fox, if you are familiar with the Bible, start here:

    Otherwise, perhaps this one:

    Here is the long and the short of it… No religion, no system of beliefs, is a proper substitute for knowing something directly, in your own experience. Everything else is second-rate, third-hand knowledge. Experience God, or whatever name you want to call it, for yourself. Go directly to the Source.

    Don’t fall into the trap of following any set of beliefs or doctrine unquestioningly (as most if not all do) in any religion, including Christianity. Better to think for yourself than have others do it for you. Adopt the beliefs that resonate with you, release them and let them go if they stop doing so. Never, ever, become identified with a religion or set of beliefs. You are no more what you believe than you are a physical body.


  3. Thank you very much for your informations,dreambliss. Ok if I would fall into the TRAP what could happen to me? I would like to know… Normaly pepole around me never talk like that.
    By the way, I got miraculously Bible for free. Now I am finding out more about Jesus who was Jewish priest.In Jewish religion Jesus wasn’t so important person like in Christianity.


  4. Well as an extreme example when Jihadists, which are Islamic extremists, become unquestionably identified with their religion they strap bombs to their chests and blow up innocent people.

    Or in the 1600s Catholic priests, feeling threatened by anyone claiming any allegiance to any belief system other than Catholicism, burned thousands of women at the stake, massacring them in things like the Salem Witch Trials.

    Before that there was a sect of Christianity hunted down by the Templars in the 1200s – can’t find or remember their names right now. Something to do with the Holy Grail.

    All of these are examples of what happens when you adopt a set of beliefs, become identified with them, and then unquestionably follow your spiritual leaders. You never question your beliefs, you never question your religious leaders. You just believe what they tell you to believe. In many cases some of the beliefs have nothing to do with the religion’s Holy book, whatever it may be. That is what is happening with the Jihadists and the Quran.

    In the case of Christianity, many Christians believe homosexuality and masterurbation are sins. But there is nowhere in the Bible that specifically says this. In the case of masturabtion, the onlly passage covering it in the old testament is really about God punishing the man for disobedience. As for homosexuality it just talks about the men desiring other men in the city of Sodom and Gomorrah before it is destroyed by what was likely a volcanic eruption. It is never explicitly said that the city was destroyed because homosexuals lived there. Just that it was a place of wickedness. In this case God’s judgment was likely due to the mistreatment of his representatives, the two (if I recall correctly) anges who came there, likely in human guise.

    I know nothing about the Jewish religion or their version of the Bible. That’s the Torah isn’t it? If you g this way, look into the Kabbalah. You will learn far more that way. If you go Christianity and not Judaism, try Gnosticism.

    Don’t take my work for any of this. Listen to your gut, follow your heart, and do your own research. Find the version of God that makes sense to you, that feels right, and if it happens to be in alignment with a particular religion, then use it like a vehicle to tale you to your own personal experience of the divine.


  5. Well I feel Christianity is my vehicle to access God. Only Christianity really saved my life at that time no any other religions could save me. Getting attacked from the other pepole that I had to divorce!?
    I don’t care what has happened long time ago in the past. I know many pepole care about something like that like about’World War 1 and 2’or’Hitler’. Past is past.I am only here and now in this moment. Actualy I have learned this way of thinking by Buddhism.


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