I know it has been a long time since I have posed here. I could make excuses, all of them valid. I have been busy with college. I have been struggling with resistance. But the fact of the matter is that if something is truly important to you, if it truly matters, you will make time for it. In my case itr is not so much that this blog doesn’t matter. No, it is more that the other things I am pursuing matter more to me at this time.
But I wanted to come in here with a brief update. I guess to start with, just over a year ago in June, I headed to California on my bike, and ended up in Parkdale, WA., where I made my way back “home.” If home is where the heart is then my home is somewhere in California, or the Venice Canals, or Tokyo, even though I have not yet been to these places.
No, home for me is a motorhome my parents purchased, initially in Ridgefield, which is where I left, and now in Vancouver. That’s right, anyone coming to this page from Clark College. This Oswald Award Nominee and Recipient, on the Vice President’s list and now a member of Phi Theta Kappa, lives in a 30′ Class A RV parked on another family’s property with his parents. This 41 year old man, who has never been on a real date, never married, never had children, and other “nevers” besides, sleeps on a fold-down couch that hurts his back. He has no privacy, no hot water for a shower, and he gets to help his parents occasionally by draining out buckets of sewage and walking it to a sewer pipe located 200 feet or so away.
I say these things freely here. This is my blog. Maybe my only real home. If I can’t take everything off and let it all hang out here then I don’t know where else I would be able to do it. I will likely say little if any of this on the campus. I won’t bring it up in any conversation. I am not exactly hiding these things, but I am not going to boast either. I deserve to, and I have earned it, I am sure many would agree. But at this time I would rather keep quiet about all of this in the physical world. I know things posted here can leak out, but I am comforted by the fact that this blog is not very popular or well-visited. That suites me just fine.
I like this place to be a sort of meeting space, where like-minded people can hang out every once in awhile. I have made a few good friends here, and learned a lot in my years blogging. It’s nice to think that perhaps, just maybe, I have had some positive influence on the few who have come here. But back to…
So I am wrapping up my last year at Clark College. I am learning how to interact and socialize with people. I have made a few friends, but as long as I can count them on one hand it is far too few. I have installed a few dating apps on my phone: Brumble, Tinder, Clover and Blendr. Every day I left and right swipe numerous prospective females. Been contact just once, and the woman left the conversation without a word. I feel that maybe I can learn a valuable lesson here. That maybe I can use the LoA to my favor, and use the kinds of females I encounter on these services as a sort of guideline to my current vibrational level.
Speaking of Abraham-Hicks is speaking in Portland in just a few days. I really want to go, so if anyone has an extra ticket or something they would be willing to give me, please let me know! This time I will not go in with the wrong mindset like I did with I Am Light. I am learning more and more it is all about the flow, not force, not trying to make things happen.
After I wrap up at Clark I will graduate the following spring. Then I will either continue my education or seek out a job with the certifications I have earned. I have been studying Computer Support. As far as continuing my education, that will depend on whether or not I am granted an scholarships. I applied for the Foundation Scholarship at Clark, but was not selected.
When I am not in class or swiping left and right in dating apps I am drawing, which I have taken up again, learning piano, also something I have taken up again, and practicing singing. That’s new. I have learned I am a tenor, which is basically the male equivalent of a soprano. I just survived my first recital where I sung The Rose of Allandale. I am currently learning Let Me Fall and River.
I have also come to be aware of upper-limiting, and when I am doing that to myself. In addition to this I have come to see how I need to truly take responsibility, and when I am angry at something, I am not actually being responsible. So I have been making a lot of changes and using Habitica, an Android app, to help me establish good habits.
Still trying to get the whole novel writing thing figured out. Still studing LoA and manifestation and ACIM. Also started studying the process of dating. I honestly have no idea how to take things to the next level after I have started talking to a girl. Or I know and am making it hard on myself because of a lack of confidence. But at least I am going out and talking to various females, engaging them, making them smile.
I am learning a lot at this point in my life, and it isn’t just the college-related material. I am currently working on myself such that I no longer have anything inside me that would reflect my current life experience. That would instead reflect a better life experience, where I am with someone, standing on my own, living in my own place. Where I essentially have a place I call home.
OK, well I am falling asleep. Expect more updates through the summer as I am done (with school) until fall.