My dad said something to me tonight that made it clear, it seemed to me, that he feels in some way responsible for my life. The subject of my birthday came up, just a few days away now, and he mentioned I would be the same age as Dale Earnhardt Jr. 41. After that he corrected himself, seems Mr. Earnhardt is actually 42. But anyway I commented that at least he has done something with his life, and my dad said his dad was famous, and that probably helped. I think I have read between the lines here fairly accurately.
As I prepared for bed tonight I asked myself how I could remove this guilt my father feels. I know that I am solely responsible for my life, its circumstances and situations. I decided that the only thing I could do was succeed. This brings up another subject I will return to. In any case I figured if my dad could feel responsible for my failure he could also take credit for my success, and furthermore, I could credit him. I actually do have legitimate reasons to say that any success I have is because of him.
In my mind I was going over a speech I would give, and something occurred to me… No parents can ever produce anything else other than copies of themselves in their children. All parents are limited to the extent of their view of reality, the things they believe, the things they have learned. No father can ever teach his son or daughter to drive without first having learned to drive themselves, for example. Families are factories that perpetuate all that has been passed down from previous generations.
The only way any child can become different is by breaking away from the reproduction line, as it were. I had a choice in my own life. I could have stayed within the safe confines of my parent’s belief systems, and my fate would likely be to get married, have children and work all my life to support my family. That is my dad’s fate, and was his dad’s fate. But I didn’t do that. I broke off from that and am now on my own path.
However this is co-creative, to use Abraham’s terminology. If my parents had interfered with my investigations outside of what they believed, then I would have been trapped in my former faith. They did protect me from what they believed was satan’s influence, or worldly, when I was little. they did interfere then. But for whatever reason they took their hands off of me sometime around when I became a teenager, or maybe it was a combination of I was outside their influence and their habit of interfering was broken.
Whatever the case may have been the fact remains that no baby will ever learn how to walk if you carry them all the time, or if they come to depend on your hands being there. As a parent you know you have to let go, even when your baby is falling flat on their face, and this same scene is replayed many times in many different forms throughout our lives. There just comes a time when parent’s have to be hand’s off so their child can develop, grow and learn.
It also occurred to me that all the heroes of the Bible are children that broke away from their parents. I can’t think of a single instance where a child of someone like Moses or David simply inherited greatness from their parents. Jesus was nothing at all like his human mother and father! Feel free to correct me if I am wrong here.
In other words the factory model at work in the majority of families in our modern society is unable to produce anything exceptional. That is why we have no Jesus or Moses in our modern times. Because almost every child in America has followed in the footsteps of his or her parents. The last few great figures I can think of are perhaps John Carmack, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Einstein, Nikola Tesla. All nothing at all like their parents, all broken away from the family production line. But far, far to few, and the number of these special individuals looks, to me anyway, as if it is decreasing.
Exceptional people grow from ordinary soil. It applies not only to those who, on some physical level, have exceeded others. It also applies to the spiritual dimension. This breaking off is necessary in order for any person to experience that which is called God, Source, Universe or Higher Self, as well as many other names, for themselves. You Christians! Do you realize the Biblical heroes you admire and on which you base the lessons you teach, are all children who broke away from their parents, and in many cases, their peers, religions and society? Do you understand that your child will never be like these men and women as long as they do not break away from you?
For every parent out there, the best thing you can do for your child is support them in breaking away from you. By that I mean breaking away from what you believe and define as reality. If you want them to truly excel and succeed, you have to take your hands off, just as you did when they first learned how to walk. They can not stand on their own as individuals if they are depending on the crutches of your worldview. They can not experience God for themselves within the confines of any religion
When it comes down to it, you only know a tiny piece of all there is to know about the world or whatever energy created it. You know only one definition of the thousands that attempt to define that which is indefinable. Share these fragments with your children, and let them go into the world to find the pieces that fit for them. Let them construct their own view of the world and the energy that created it from these.
When the day comes that I am standing in from of others with a life worthy of sharing credit, I can give credit to my parents, because I was allowed to break off on my own. I have fallen on my face a number of times, and may many times more. But we all do that when we first learn to walk. As it has been said, the number of times you fall is not important. What is important is that you keep getting back up. Otherwise you will never learn to stand on your own, to walk.
For me the result is that I have a much bigger fragment to share with my own children, and they will have a bigger fragment still. Eventually, once every human has a big enough fragment the completed whole will be revealed.
In the words of Gorden Matthew Sumner (Sting), “If you love someone, set them free.”