You may have heard someone say this, may have even nodded your head, unthinking. It is unlikely that you understand the full ramifications of this statement, what it really means.
We will work off a number of premises today… First, as Abraham teaches through Esther Hicks, this thing called your conscience is actually just a collection of adopted beliefs about what is right or wrong, good or bad.
Second that nothing happens that should not have happened, without exception. If something happens, no matter how terrible or tragic it is perceived to be, the fact that it happened proves that it should have happened, because it did happen. On the flip side, if something has not happened that you feel should have happened, the fact that it has not happened proves it should not happen, because it has not happened, yet. No is not a permanent state, every no is a potential yes.
Third everything that happens is asked for or drawn to, without exception. Likely it is not conscious the majority of the time. Occasionally it is conscious. That thing you dread, that you fear, that you obsess over, that is the thing that will come to you, because you are calling it by strongly to you focusing on it.
In the shower today I started thinking about my brother. The holidays are coming up and we really do not get along. We have had some terrible fights around this time of year. I was thinking about how I asked for a brother, how I was so lonely as a kid and so desperately wanted someone to play with that I asked for a brother, and it wasn’t long after that that he was born. I am not sure I directly remember much of this. It is more like an old story I have told myself for many years, based in part off what my parents told me.
Up until today I have felt guilty for how I treated my brother in the past. We had some violent confrontations as kids. I spilled boiling water on him from a water distiller, not on purpose, when we were both small. In later years when he and a friend were picking on me I kicked him, hard, in the butt with a steel toed boot. I remember these things readily, I only just now remembered how he shoved a vacuum cleaner pipe into my face, leaving a scar on my nose I have today. I beat myself up over what I did for so long. Not anymore.
How many years would I go on punishing myself for these things I did in the past, knowing now that I only feel they are bad because I was literally programmed, through my conscience, which as I said is an inherited belief system about what is right or wrong, good or bad, to feel that way? Knowing also that my brother could only be hurt by me if he was, at some level, asking for it or drawing that experience to himself? Knowing also that I could only hurt him in that way if I was asking for that experience, or drawing it to me? The fact that it happened means it was supposed to
If something is supposed to happen it can not be felt or thought of as bad or wrong. Bad or wrong implies that something has happened that was not supposed to. It is at odds with what is. Being at odds with what is, this is the source of most, if not all, of our suffering. Everyone out there upset that Donald Trump is our president is only hurting themselves. The fact is that he is our president. That is what is, in this moment. That is the reality, in this moment. When you argue with what is, you argue with reality, and you only end up hurting yourself and others.
Everything I have done in the past, everything I have beat myself up over all these years, causing me to bind myself, oppress myself, repress myself and ultimately, hurt myself, every single thing that happened, was exactly what was supposed to happen. Let me repeat that. Everything that has happened was supposed to happen. End of story. That is reality. That is what, at each of those times, is.
Everything that happened to me I have asked for, I am solely responsible. Everything that I have done to others they have asked for, and they are solely responsible, with the exception that I could not have done any of that to them unless I was asking or drawing to myself the experience of doing that to them. It takes two, one to ask for an experience, one to deliver or hand out the experience, which is also asked for in some way. And as I said before the majority of this is not done at a conscious level.
Today I have decided to forgive myself. To issue myself a certificate of forgiveness for every perceived wrong I have done. I have admitted and accepted these things, embraced them, released them and let them go. I have decided that from this day forward, I will define what is right or wrong, good or bad, based on my feeling. My feelings will not lead me astray. I know I will not hurt anyone, even given opportunity to, because I am a sensitive person who does not want to hurt anyone. The idea of hurting anyone feels bad to me. Not because it is a sin and I will go to hell if I do it. Not because there will be consequences in the next life, or karma.
The only consequences we face for our actions are in this life, in the society where we live. There is no final judgement. We do not need the beliefs of others about what is right or wrong, good or bad, to control our behavior. Too often when we repress ourselves in certain areas of our lives they become twisted beyond natural, normal states. I truly believe, the rise of the LGBT community is solely due, as I have said before, to religious oppression and sexual repression. It is a rebellion against some ancient inherited part of our collection conscience that says what is right or wrong, bad or good, in a relationship. It is not our own personal beliefs. These are beliefs that have been passed down, generation after generation, that we have successively adopted.
I am certain the 60’s were mankind’s first collective cleanse, a shaking off of the old, adopted and inherited crap, and the LGBT movement is performing a similar function today. As a race we have collectively asked to be free from the strictures of our past, and now we are freeing ourselves. In the past we wanted the strict moral and religious code, that is what we collectively asked for or drew to us. Either we wanted it or we are all afraid of it. Either way there was a focus on that, and that is what we received. Now there is a focus away from morals and religion, and that is what we are receiving.
I think we are moving as a race into a future were there is less control over us and moral as well as religious flexibility. Honestly this is the way it should be. We should not have to be told to “…treat our neighbors as ourselves.” We should want to. We should not have to be told not to hurt others, we should have no desire to hurt others. We should not have to be told who or what God is. We should want to experience whatever or whoever God is for ourselves. If this is the future we are headed to, it is a bright one indeed!
But what I want you personally to take away from this, right now, in this moment, tossing aside everything else I have said, is that it is time to stop punishing yourself for the things you have done. Everything you perceive to be negative, bad or wrong that you have felt or thought, said or done in the course of your life. Whatever has happened was supposed to happen. Whatever you did was asked for and drawn to whoever you did it to. You also, in some way, asked for or drew to you these experiences. It is time to let them go, to admit and allow them, embrace them with love and acceptance, then release and let them go.
You are causing more harm to them, and yourself, by keeping these things alive in your memory. They can’t move on until you do. Move on. It’s done, it is in the past, no matter how horrible you perceive what you have felt or thought, said or done to be, that was then. You are not living there anymore. You are here, in this moment, reading these words. As long as you insist on revisiting the past you are denying the reality of what is, and your suffering, and their suffering, will continue.
Do everyone a favor and come back to this moment, right here, right now. To quote Ram Dass, “Be Here Now.” Where else can you be anyway? Can you go back to the past and change anything? No. But you can be here, in this moment, and from this moment on build a better future for yourself and others. I think that is a far better place to put your energy and focus, don’t you?
I don’t know about you, but I am done being a prisoner of the past. I am done letting others tell me what is right or wrong, bad or good, desirable or undesirable. I am done subscribing to any singular individual’s or group’s ideas about God and the afterlife. I want to learn from them all, be open to all viewpoints. Be open and receptive in general. Let peace and love rule my heart, openness and receptivity rule my mind. That’s what I want, and what I am doing right now, in this moment.
What do you want? Why do you believe what you believe? Why do you think certain things are wrong or bad, and others are right or good? I recently learned that the idea of earning, which I was long raised to believe was right and good, is actually not. Because it causes me to believe i have to earn everything I have, and so closes me off to receiving things without earning them.
Have you actually sat down and questioned some of your fundamental beliefs? Do so no, let go of those you are ready to release and let go. Keep those you still want to hold onto. But at least do yourself the favor of questioning them, because these beliefs of yours, whether they form your conscience, your religion, or both, are directing your life right now, in this moment.
Is your life, in this moment, headed in the direction you wish to go? If something feels off, it is. Honor your feelings. Follow them. Listen to them. You do not need others to control you, to make you behave. It can be natural to you. You do not need a conscience, and you do not need a religion. These are crutches, use them until you no longer need them, then learn to walk on your own.