I want to share something I realized today when I was riding in the car with my parents.
I was in the back seat, they were in the front. On our way to their church, they were talking about the rooms they wanted to rent for their upcoming anniversary. Something seemed to have gone awry. I responded as I usually did, trying to find out what is going on, seeing if I can bring calm, placate them, or come up with a solution. But they either were so caught up in what they were saying they didn’t hear me trying to get in on the conversation, or they heard me and ignored me (not usual for them. Maybe Source was helping?)
It gave me time to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, to wait for my opening. Then I realized something. I had a choice as to whether or not I would engage in that conversation. I asked myself, essentially, what could I actually do to solve the problem? Why did I want to know what was going on anyway? There was a flashing bit of memory of something I read in a book, I think Sara Book 1 or Sara Book 2 by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
It was something about if they haven’t asked the question, then it is not time to answer it. The right time to answer a question, in the book referring to the Law of Attraction, is when others ask. On the heels of this I remembered something else I had come to understand. My parents are living their own lives, as individuals and as a couple. They have to walk their own path. Ultimately it is none of my business.
Just now I remember yet another thing I learned, that it is not up to me to fix anything. Also I ask myself, why do I feel the need to calm, placate, help or solve the problem? I must be trying to control the situation. If I am trying to control the situation then, at some level, I must believe or think that my happiness depends on my circumstances, on my ability to clam, placate, help or solve the problem. This has become a part of my identity. I am working from the outside in, trying to alter circumstances and situations to fit me, finding my happiness there, outside of me.
If I were to engage in this, force my way into this conversation, despite the fact that there was really nothing I could do to better it, I would then be engaged with their drama. I would be taking part in this. I am having trouble explaining this bit. I guess the best way to put it is that I would become unconscious, to use the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. I would be choosing to experience the negativity in that situation. It came down, for me, to whether or not I wanted to engage with that, and I chose not to.
Besides, my parents hadn’t really given me space to speak, hadn’t acknowledge that I tried to speak up earlier, they obviously were not, in essence, asking the question. My involvement was not asked for, it would do me no good to become involved, it was none of my business in the first place, and my parents have to walk their own paths, individually and collectively.
This is so very important to understanding how to live the teachings of the Law of Attraction! It is not that I do not care about my parents. But had I spoken up, interjected myself into that exchange, it would not really have been from a place of love at all! It would have been from a place of fear, because only from a place of fear to we seek to change our circumstances and situations to suit us. Only from a place of fear do we try to find happiness outside ourselves, in our circumstances or situation.
As long as we are actively or passively manipulating, or seeking to manipulate, the circumstances and situations we find ourselves in, we are not accepting, allowing, open or receptive. We are closed of, we are resistant, we are acting from a place of fear. Now the Law of Attraction teaches us that we create our life experience. But this creation has nothing to do with changing anything outside of us. It has everything to do with changing ourselves, how we react and respond to the circumstances and situations we find ourselves in.
If we are focused on the exterior, we are acting from the ego and a place of fear. If we are focused on the interior, we are acting from our Higher Self and a place of love. Love does not criticize or judge. It does not seek to change anything to suit it. It is capable of seeing things outside of good, bad, wanted, unwanted, desirable, undesirable, etc. It is able to look at circumstances, situations and the people in our lives as they are. It sees what is. There is nothing more important than that!
There is still an allowance for our personal preferences. We may look at a situation through the eyes of love, seeing it as it really is, seeing the truth of a circumstance, situation or person, and still, in our mind, know that this is something we want or do not want. But it is non-resistant. There is no criticism or judgment. We are just aligned with who we really are, and we can tell if what we are witnessing is also in alignment with that or not. Eckhart Tolle really goes into this in the later parts of, “The Power of Now.”
If there is any text on earth that you should have on your nightstand to replace the Bible (I know that might offend some people, and maybe Tolle would not agree) I would say this book is it. Seriously. I have learned so much reading it, maybe it was just the right time of my life for me, maybe it wouldn’t mean as much as a Bible to someone else because it wouldn’t be the right book for them at that time in their lives. I don’t know.
But as a spiritual, non-religious person, if I was to have a Bible, without any religion attached to it, this would be it. In fact, if I were to think of any text as a sort of holy scripture, that would be it for me right now. It is the first book I have picked up since leaving the Christian faith that I will most likely read again, immediately after reading it through the first time. It will travel with me when I leave this place. But enough of that, I am not here to sell books!
As we were leaving the church, and on the way home, again an issue came up. Something to do with taxes, and it sounded bad. Unlike before when I responded without awareness, I did not do the same this time. I was more aware and did not respond as I usually did. Maybe I also had some things on my mind. But I think I made a conscious choice here. My thoughts about it were scattered. I think a part of me desired to know, and a part of me was thinking I would if my parents wanted to tell me, or something like that.
Like before though this was none of my business. I just focused on my own stuff. Through talking about something else, the issue came up and I learned what had happened. I reflected as I went into the library after they dropped me off that some part of me had been beating the drum of wanting to know, so I got to know, but that I didn’t really need to. I saw this, understood it. What good was it doing me to know? No good at all! Naysayers of the Law of Attraction might call this selfishness. I would ask them what would be the purpose of imposing suffering on yourself? Do you expect some sort of reward in the afterlife? A pat on the back? To sleep better at night? Maybe to work off some of your karma? Just another cage, another chain, like so many of our collective beliefs!
Choosing to become engaged in a matter that has nothing to do with your own life path, that is none of your business, will either make you feel worse, or give you a false sense of superiority. You feel worse if you hear about these circumstances and situations but can do nothing about. That will lower your vibration, knocking you off your high flying disc, and keep you from benefiting others by your higher vibrational state.
Or you may feel superior if you can solve the problem, with effort, money or through some other means, and you will find yourself being drawn more and more into the circumstances and situations of other people, getting involved with their problems, and finding more and more to fix.
There is a certain logic to the idea that a superhero creates his or her villains. I am thinking of Batman here, how all these superhuman or subhuman villains came into the scene immediately after the entrance of the Dark Knight. I wonder how many people think about that… There was no Joker, Two-Face, Riddler, etc. before Bruce Wayne!
When we busy ourselves in the affairs of others we fuck things up for them and ourselves. For them, because they may come to depend on us, like the citizens of Gotham depend on Batman, and for us, because we are not dealing with our own shit, epitomized in the character Bruce Wayne. Talk about someone who is trying to change external circumstances to suit himself, under the illusion he is doing it for others!
We see it in our heroes too – our soldiers and police officers. They would rather do another tour or work all the time because they are both trying to do the same thing. Change the world from the outside in. They are attacking the symptoms of the issues in society, instead of addressing their causes, so their battles are never ending. Soldiers may get PTSD, police officers the revolver in the mouth, if either of them aren’t killed in the line of duty first. Both may alienate themselves from their loved ones as they chase their windmills.
Am I selfish? Honestly I don’t care. I am not going to criticize of judge myself. I will let you say or think what you will about me. What you say or think about me is none of my business. Maybe by how you define selfishness I am. Maybe that is not such a bad thing. Maybe a good dose of selfishness is what everyone needs.
Because if we are all focused on our own internal garbage and doing some spring cleaning, my guess is that the external world we live in will also clean itself up. My guess is that whatever is inside of us collectively as a race is accurately and clearly reflected in the world we inhabit and the lives we live. Most of us humans are infecting the earth. We have no more value to our planet than a tick on our neck has to us.
We got this way because of this stupid idea that we need to set goals, work hard towards them, do anything and everything we can to change circumstances, situations – the exterior. That is what has created the world we live in. Not the few of us, like me, that choose to live the Law of Attraction teachings, and our working on ourselves, focusing on our own stuff instead of interfering with the lives of others.
I wonder what kind of world we would be living in if we all addressed the causes, instead of the symptoms? If we all worked on ourselves first and foremost, not to the exclusion of anyone else, just before we poked our noses into the lives of those around us? Maybe, if we dealt with our shit first, we would be better equipped to help others deal with theirs? Ever think about that?
Well I am. I am seriously devoting my awareness to this. I am going to remember what I learned today. I think this is a big piece of the puzzle in effectively living the teachings of the Law of Attraction. I am determined to live them, and the teachings of Eckhart Tolle among others. But I am also determined to be myself and follow my heart. Listen to my own internal guidance, and look to these other sources after that. I honestly feel I am on the right track here, at least for me. Maybe it is also the right track for you. But only you know that.