When The Rain Falls.

This feeling of loss again,
But what exactly have I lost?
Only a fantasy that I want,
To become my reality.

There is this emptiness inside,
There is this lack of confidence,
I have doubts I can do this,
But I also know that I can.

The future looks bleak and grim from here,
I can find no certainty anywhere I look,
By what others and society tell me,
I am on a fool’s errand, I can not succeed.

I am Don Quixote, chasing windmills,
Unable to see this reality,
Of which everyone else is so certain,
But does that make my reality less valid?

There is precious little, if anything,
I can say for certain, but I have to,
Move forward with what I believe,
I have to find out the truth for myself!

I can not let the beliefs, doubts and fears of others,
Dissuade me on my chosen course!
As I walk my own spiritual path,
So I must, for now in my life, proceed alone.

My only hope is that this path,
Will join up with another,
So that I will no longer feel,
This strange, haunted, lonely feeling.

It sneaks up on me,
Like a lion on its prey,
I am tired of its pounce,
How it plays with my heart.

Every raindrop falls alone,
But is not alone, falling collectively,
With its thousands of others,
So why do I feel so alone in the rain?

I am just one raindrop,
In the waters of humanity,
I am not alone,
There are millions of others.

We are all one, joined together,
In some way I can not define,
Despite how things appear,
Despite how I feel in this moment.

I wish, for this moment, right here,
I could feel that oneness,
I could know for certain,
So the future would look brighter!

But I can not live there, in the future,
The only moment I have is right now,
I must somehow focus my attention here,
Find a way to embrace these feelings.

Maybe someday, some moment apart from now,
These feelings will be put to rest,
No longer haunting me like old ghosts,
Leaving me, finally, at peace.

Then maybe, at that time,
I will feel wholeness,
Or at least not feel separate,
Or alone when the rain falls.

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