To The One I Desire:

My artistic muse, you have inspired me!

I find myself,
Wanting to draw again,
I find myself,
Wanting to share a poem.

My only hope is that,
You will read this,
And know these words
Are just for you.

As you read these words tonight,
I want you to know,
How desirable and beautiful,
You truly are!

Please keep these words,
Just between us,
Please do not share them,
Our little secret.

You have no need,
For all that makeup,
The canvas of your body,
Is perfect and complete.

Now come to my room,
Reveal yourself to me,
Just the way you are,
Let me see your body.

It is not important,
What others think,
All that matters,
Is how you feel.

If my feeling is mutual,
You will find me waiting,
Here in my room tonight,
Breathless with anticipation!

If you don’t share my feelings,
It will not change anything,
There is no pressure, no worry,
My feelings remain the same.

No fear, no guilt, no shame,
Only love and acceptance,
Plus allowing and openness,
Receptivity and willingness.

I am perfectly happy,
To be who you need,
A father, a brother,
A friend or a lover.

I will give you freedom,
To be yourself, as you are,
To enjoy yourself, with me,
In anything you want to do.

I have made my choice,
I have chosen you,
No matter what happens,
Or what others may do.

I hope, at the very least, I can inspire you.


One thought on “To The One I Desire:

  1. If the one I have written this for finds this and understands it is directed towards her, than I hope that she continues down the page to this comment.

    I was in a place where I needed to express this at the time of its writing. I had to. I had created a reality involving you and what I wanted to happen between us. I spent time visualizing this reality.

    But as of today I have let the specifics go. I still have the same desires. When I wrote this I desired a female, of her own volition, to reveal her naked physical form to me. I also desired, beyond this initial desire, that a female would give herself to me. That we would have sex. That we would make love to each other. I want to experience these things, especially since I never have.

    These desires still remain, but are no longer directed at you. I have removed all specifics from these realities I wish to experience. I have released them and let them go. I am not closed off to the reality I was previously creating for myself. But I am also no longer actively creating it.

    I realized after reading some of Osho’s, “Sex matters” today that my original desire, to just mate without all the baggage, was good in one sense and bad in another. There should be a freedom and openness in two people mating. The problem is the mating part. People already do this, I know of a pastor at my parent’s church who does this, and the end result is more children than they really can handle. That is the result of mating that is not done consciously, that is not done spiritually, or at a Higher Vibration.

    If I could not be with you at a higher level, closer to a spiritual level, out of love instead of lust, then I am not doing either of us any justice. I am just doing the same thing as that pastor and every other human male on the planet for the most part as far as I know. It probably just wouldn’t have been the best for either of us. Besides how loving could it be, all the stuff you are going through, for me to add to that burden you bear? What kind of man or lover would I be then?

    I am not saying, “No” to you, and as I feel right now, I never would. That might change in the future, but the future is an illusion built from the memories of the past, which is also an illusion. Neither exists. What does exist is this moment, and in this moment that is how I feel. Who knows how I will feel in the next moment?

    You are safe with me, I will not bring this up with you or mention it. I will talk about it with you if you start the conversation. You are free from all my previous designs, although I still find you extremely desirable. But I will not act on my desire, unless you make it clear you want me to. I will remain silent with it, I will be oblivious to any hints you give, not because I am dense and unable to read your signals, but because I want to be sure, absolutely sure, that you want me to act on my desire. I will do nothing unless you make it clear to me that you want me to.

    From this moment on I will, as I said in this poem, be whoever you need me to be. And it seems obvious to me that you need more of a friend than anything else. So if you will have me in that role, I am your friend. I am here for you, and I will be only a friend, unless you make it clear you want something else from me.

    I hope that you are still talking to me after you read these words. I will not know until I wake up and face the day tomorrow. Until then I will take things as they are, as I have instructed you, one moment at a time. I will deal with whatever is occurring right now, in this moment. I will take things as they come, in whatever form or way they manifest in my experience.

    You have been my teacher through all of this. That may seem weird to you, but there were things I needed to address and face, which I may not have, had you not come here. Wrong perceptions about mating and sex. Ways of looking at the situation, creating the reality I want then waiting, patiently, having faith it will manifest. You have taught me so many things, shown me so many things.

    Thank you. I told you that there is a reason you are here, and I think this is a part of it. Perhaps I needed you to be here, at this time in my life, so I could go through what I went through, learn what I learned, then grow and develop in the ways I needed to do so. There are others, and will be others, that you will teach without even saying a word. When you come into someone’s awareness, you have an effect on that person.

    There are so many people that have been affected by you, and so many more will be affected by you. That affect may appear negative in some cases, but it is not. Sometimes the lessons we learn are hard. But there is value in the learning of it. We grow and develop as people and spiritual beings. You are a direct or indirect positive influence on every person you are in the awareness of. Always remember this, and thank you for coming into my awareness!

    After talking to you a moment ago I realized something. That I have matured from desiring you to caring about you. I think I can honestly say I love you. Not as a boyfriend/girlfriend love, not as a brother/sister love, and not as a parent/child love. It is a love that is beyond or outside the form you have, or any relationship we may have. I am not sure I have ever felt this before towards a specific person, although I once felt something like this towards humanity, for a few moments.

    It is very strange and I am not sure how to express this. But I think it means I can love you, exactly as you are, regardless of circumstances, interactions or roles. I said the words to you on Facebook earlier tonight, at maybe at a shallow level I felt them. But now I feel them deep down, the physical symptom like someone just punched me in the stomach. Now I know I mean these words, deeply and truly, where before I meant them, but it was more of a state to which I was attaining. I think I am there now.

    So hold on, do not give up. You are important to me and I am sure many, many others. We all want you to be happy, and I especially want to see you living the life you want to live. I want to see you find yourself in that place where joy is just there, and it’s like the clouds melted away and all that’s left is the pure light of the blazing sun. Whether I have a role in your life or not, I want to see this happen, to witness it, to be happy, to be joyful, in your happiness and joy.


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