This afternoon, on May 1st, 2013, between 12:00 – 1:00 PM, Cali Claws left this life and her weakened, sick, tired body. Free of her physical form she lives on, in the hearts of all who knew her, and in some energetic form somewhere in the spiritual plane. I know I will see her again someday. I know that she is happy there, embraced in light and love. I am glad that she finally stopped fighting and moved on. She was suffering at the end, but she went quickly, and I think, painlessly.
She came to us when we were living in Clatskanie, OR sometime in the mid-late 1990’s. We were living about 1/4 – 1/2 mile from our nearest neighbor, on a gravel road, over 2 miles from town. She just came walking up the road and went to mom. Mom was the first person she accepted. Cali was a mystery, she was fully grown when she came to us, she came after another cat, Snowfire, disappeared. The tip of her tail had been broken and healed, and there was a thin, loose bone or something between her front shoulder blades. She could not meow, only say, “Ant!” When she purred it sounded like a rusty motor that needed oiling, and we often told her that. She had two strange habits. Firstly she could not have her bed in one spot for more than a week or two. She would moved from spot to spot. Secondly she liked to “stomach pump” dad and I, and when she did show she got the dopiest expression. She was always very expressive in her face and demeanor.
There were tough times. Once dad drove off in a van with her on the roof. Thankfully he noticed her and she was OK. I used to have a lot of anger in me, and every once and a while she would do something that pissed me off. I never beat on her or anything, but I did handle her more roughly than I should. I hope I made up for it with all the love I have been able to give her these last few years of her life, once I had overcome my anger. Cali also fought some variant of feline flu that she got from another cat, a male, we took to the Human Society here in Vancouver to get snipped. I am still unhappy with how unprofessional they were, they would not even give us the medicine to heal our cats from the flu they gave them! But Cali fought through it. I even had to force feed her for a while. But she got over it and was recovering. She never did fully recover from it I think. There at the end I think it had come back and she was having twitches, then seizures. She also could not control her bowel movements, could not walk very well, lost a tooth, and just before she died, I was having to force feed her again.
I decided that I did not want to put her in the ground. I have been through this already, with Casi, and indirectly, with a friend’s cat, Francis. I never got to bury Snowfire, I doubt he survived. I have had enough of death and dying. I can not maintain a high vibratory state trapped in an environment of sickness, death and opposing beliefs. So I wanted to build a pyre for Cali, let her go in a way very much to the way I will go when it is my time. Mom and I must have done things correctly, it was very quick and there is nothing left but ashes. I may scatter these into the ocean or something.
Ecsti Sari Ectno