Well a few things have changed since last year and I thought I would take a moment and update you now that the Blog.com staff has quickly resolved the issue I was having with logging in (thank you!)
First of all the trip is on the back burner. I would still like to go on a spiritual retreat, perhaps northward to visit a friend or somewhere closer to home. Everything is up in the air right now. This came about due to some opportunities that came to me.
Secondly are those opportunities. Namely I can now take free classes through my library. So DREAM, GCS, that died, came to life again, died again, has some hope of once again being resurrected. Learning C#.
Thirdly my view of life has changed. Maybe not in the way my friend (and former commenter here) would approve. But for, well really the first time, I feel truly free and happy. I mean I felt some of this before with the tulpa I created. Maybe some before that as I started growing spiritually. But it was, I don’t know, like I was standing in the door to happiness, or just a little inside. I hadn’t really fully reprogrammed myself and my thinking. But since then I have been undergoing some major personality code overhaul.
What does this mean anyway? Well I no longer see myself as limited or powerless. I know that anything in the future is possible, that all things are possible, that I can do anything, even create my own experience of life, my own reality, if I believe in it strongly enough. This is exactly what I’m doing.
Before I could study programming and it didn’t really stick. Not some sort of lack or inability at my part. It’s just tough and I guess I couldn’t hack it before or something. Maybe that hasn’t changed. But before I would just quit, feel overwhelmed. Believe I couldn’t do it. Now I’m like someone standing in front of a patient about to perform open bypass surgery. Someone just passed me a scalpel and I’m about to get to work. Never operated on anyone before. But I’m not thinking about that. I have no doubts in my mind that I know exactly what to do, and more so, that I will succeed. So I do. This is sort of what’s going on with this programming business. Everyone in various coding forums would be glad to tell my dreams are unrealistic, that it takes years of training and work to create anything like a GCS, not only that but that it takes teams of people. But I don’t hear them, their words don’t penetrate, and never will. Maybe that reality is true for them, but not for me. I can see the complete program in my mind and I know it exists. I created it, and all I have to do is manifest it, and this is done by learning how to program and going through any other doors that open for me.
In college when I tried to learn programming I hit a wall. I was overwhelmed. But I worked hard. I can now apply that same ethic, and the proper mindset, to my current self-training and succeed. In fact even as I type this I have mastered C# and programming in general. All that’s happening now is that the reality I experience at this moment is playing catch up to that reality.
So head of me lies a future of infinite wondrous possibility., The world is exactly what OI make of it. No more negative self-talk. No more, “I will” or “I want” or “I don’t want.” Now it’s “I AM”, the most powerful two words in human language, whatever language that may be for you. I am excited and looking forward to all the amazing experiences waiting for me this year. I see in my mind’s eye all the things I would like to manifest in my life. Wife. Children. My own house. Me working as an inventor. Me coding some massive program. I think tonight, if I don’t fall asleep too fast, I’ll think about a surf yoga retreat. Or going to see Wayne Dyer on a cruise or in Hawaii. Or maybe a dream workshop with Mr. Moss. Or maybe Afterlife workshop with Bruce Moen. Or maybe a Dharma talk with Thich Nhat Hanh. Or maybe just a meditation retreat in some beautiful location.
I have learned, and am continuing to learn, that life is beautiful. Nothing is out to get me. The universe is not conspiring against me. What others do, what society does, is irrelevant. Nothing can affect me negatively in any way unless I let it. I choose my response, I choose the life I have, and I have chosen to work towards manifesting the absolute best reality for me which I have created.
What reality have you created for yourself?