12-26-2012

So Christmas is officially over. I am left with a number of confusing and conflicting feelings. Perhaps talking about it here will help me work them out.

So one of my friends (I really have 4 people in all the world I can call a friend) is going through a tough time. His dad has been battling cancer. They had to stop chemo and he has taken a turn for the worse. He is very weak right now.

I’m getting all this info from my brother, and he has a tendency to amplify things. But I have no reason to disbelieve him. Trying to be careful here. I have created a reality where the man is well and healed. I am manifesting that reality even as I type this. I purchased Louise Hay’s, “You Can Heal Your Life.” I know that my friend’s father can heal himself by facing whatever it is that has caused him to create this reality of the cancer in whatever part of the body it is located in, as well as changing his thinking to, “I Am Healthy” and “I Am Strong.” Together these will create and manifest the reality of the man recovering and healing.

This brings us to something that is having a major effect on my life. I know longer feel the world is without magic or that I have no power. I have learned how to create the realities I want and how to re-program my thoughts to manifest these realities. I know how to work towards them and how to use flow to determine what I should do. I used to say I don’t believe in destiny or fate. Now I think there is an ideal course you can follow, but it is an ideal course to a future you have created, a reality you wish to manifest.

So now I see the beauty in the world and I realize that reality is truly what I make of it. I see so clearly how the Christian God, Jesus, Holy Spirit are all Tulpas. I’m pretty sure that whatever I felt back when I became a Christian was probably very much what I felt when I created my Tulpa a few months ago. The energetic tube snapping into place in my heart energy center.

But the truth is subscribing to the faith of any other is equivalent to giving away your power, you life force even. We already live and breathe in a world that has a reality which has been defined by countless others who have walked this planet before us. All our science, our discoveries, our religions, everything we have invested our energy into through our beliefs, worship or sacrifice – these are all Tulpas.

This is easily proven using simple logic. We have what we call natural rules and laws of science here that determine our reality. Yet it is possible, and in my opinion likely, that these same rules and laws would not apply in an alternative version of our world. In our example of an alternative universe people may be able to fly around and use psychic powers the way we use our hands. The laws, rules and religions would be different.

I don’t know if there is a source, a creator or just some energetic pool somewhere, or if whatever created is is actually us having an experience of a physical body. But what I do know is that we all have the ability (it is a natural part of every person) to create the reality we want. We either use this without thinking about it. We go through our day thinking about the job we hate, the people we don;t get along with, how poorly we feel, how weak we are, how powerless we are, how bad a sinner we are, on and on. This creates these experiences for us.

But we can also take an active role in the reality we experience. We can choose to say, “I Am Strong” whenever our senses tell us that we feel weak. We can tell ourselves, “I Am Healthy” whenever we come down with something. More that that we can act as if these realities already exist, because they do, but at the moment of their creation until they manifest they are energetic and we are unable to interact with them. We sprinkle this with positive feelings as we think about the reality we have created manifesting, through in some love for spice. These are the ingredients. It’s a long, hard road to change self-talk you have had for years. But I feel, that at least for me, it will be worth it, so I continue.

You see I finally found my dream. I know what I want to do. I have created the reality I want to experience. I Am A Computer Artist. I Am An Artist with the computer as his medium. I see in my mind’s eye the future I have created for myself. The house I live in, that I designed and built myself, perhaps with my wife’s help. Of course I have a wife and children., But she is not just any female. She is the ideal female for this reality I am manifesting. I work from home, freelancing. I create models, levels and textures – assets – to support myself. Additional funds come from wise investments and royalties from books I write as well as patents for things I have invested (I have had a number of things sketched out that can be patented for years.) I have my own work space, but it is actually my play space. On top of everything else I built and created a GCS (Game Creation System) based off my old idea for DREAM. This has gone into a console I designed, allowing those who play it to make their own content for any game on that console.

This is my dream. This is the future I have chosen for myself. There truly is not fate, destiny, or purpose. There may be some sort of calling. Maybe a pull to one thing or another. The wise person will follow the call, go with the pull. We all have a unique combination of gifts, skills, talents and abilities. Ideally we find a way to make use of all of these. Happiness comes from work, but the work should be enjoyable, and it is if we are doing something that utilizes our unique attributes. This will bring us fulfillment, especially if whatever we do is of service to others in some way.

I have come to find happiness in service. At first I saw this as a sort of payment. It takes a lot of energy to create a reality then to begin manifesting it. By serving I felt I was paying back the energy I had used. But I no longer see it as a payment. Now I just want to help however I can. I have much to be thankful for and I want to show my appreciation.

So many realities have I created then manifest. When the kitchen pipes were clogged as I worked on them to the extent of my abilities and tools I pictured them completely cleared. I worked hard not only physically on the sink, but mentally on any negative thoughts that tried to get in. Because it seemed that all my work did nothing. The water was still not going down. I had taken the pipes apart twice. Then I had reached the end of what I could do. I help the image of the reality I created in my mind, and later that morning I heard a gurgling sound downstairs. Every since the water is going down better than it ever did before.

This is a perfect example of how this power works. We created it in our imagination. We hold onto that image and never let it go. We feel it, we use positive past experienced or we imagine positive future ones related to this reality fully manifesting. But then we throw our bodies into it as well. We take steps to work towards this reality we created and want to manifest. It could be as simple as working on pipes, or as difficult as taking your child to a modern hospital despite your beliefs. To manifest a change we have to work towards it. As far as I can see this is a rule.

Other things happened but not the way I wanted. Still others happened pretty much as I wanted. I try to paint everything with broad strokes. Let the universe fill in the details. I think that if we get too specific we end up limiting ourselves, because another option may be better for us.

But back to my feelings… I am also feeling along right now. How do I work towards finding or being found by a mate? It looks as though I may need to stay here next year. That my plans have yet again changed. So how do I get out and meet people? Furthermore how do I know what studies to take, what books to read, to manifest the reality I have created?

So I have much to be thankful for. I know now that I am a powerful, unlimited, divine being. I suspect that I may even be God having a physical experience. Not ready to go out and say, “I Am God” though. Even if I did there is no pride here. There is no desire for worship. I do not feel better than anyone else. Because if I am God, they are too. And if I am God, then I have much responsibility. I have to be even more accountable for my actions. So much here where I have not manifested the understanding.

Can I succeed? Can I pursue my dream and succeed? I say, “Yes!” but that does not negate worry, fear and the what ifs.

I guess, getting back to feelings again, that I also miss my childhood. Being together with my family. The feelings were somehow purer then. Things were simpler. But that was the past. It is gone. We all seem to be separating, things that used to mean so much now mean so little. I miss it, I miss the childlike wonder. I miss our family traditions. I miss the joy and all the good feelings of Christmas. I still get some of those feelings. Had some this year. But it seems that Christmas is one bright, all-to-brief, moment of happiness. Then evening comes, rain falls from the cold, gray sky, and I find myself still alone, these special moments distant memories, all-to-brief. I wish these bright, magical, wondrous, happy, joy-filled moments could last longer. Let me drink it in until I’m full.

OK I’m starting to fall asleep… I hope you all had an awesome Christmas however you celebrate it if at all. For my part I will focus on the positive thoughts, daydream then, and ultimately think about my home and family.

Happy Holidays Everyone! Read, “Wishes Fulfilled” by Wayne Dyer to learn more about the process of creating your own reality.

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